


The Warrior Maiden

by Kazroo



Category: Tarzan the (WB) series
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-20
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-13 23:40:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 55,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3400508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kazroo/pseuds/Kazroo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by the WB Tarzan series, our feral hero grows up alone in the ruins of his parent's castle, and meets his Jane when both thought love was going to pass them by.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It started out much closer to the feeling of Tarzan, but it took on a life of it's own and has wandered rather far of field from me Tarzan - you Jane. There are many original characters, but this is far from done. The first 30 chapters are completed.

**Chapter 1**

**The battle raged on. It was another battle among the clans. Everywhere there were swords and wind-blown kilts among the rocky outcroppings in the green fields. An insult such as that which issued forth from the first son of the Buchanan chief had to be met with a fierce return. It had been an insult to bring the men's hackles up, and make the women blush.**

**The Maclarens would defend their honor! None more fiercely than the wild red-haired leader of this attack. With reckless abandon the sword would slash and fell those Buchanan tartan-clad fighters. This fighter was lean, obviously young, and not yet having attained his manly size, nor need of the razor. The wild red hair was splattered with blood and dirt hung to the sweat on the skin. The strong blue and green stripes of the Maclaren tartan on the kilt swirled about as this determined fighter slew enemies.**

**Now only one Buchanan fighter remained. As the Maclaren fighter ran toward the enemy's back, unseen, the sword was intervened. A strong, toned arm grabbed the hilt of the swinging sword, encasing the smaller hand, and redirecting the blow to the ground.**

**"Let him live - enough of his clan has perished here!"**

**The youthful fighter huffed, not believing someone would stop the completion of this honor feud. The stranger now found the sword turned on him, but he showed no signs of backing down.**

**"Kill me if you must," he replied, spreading his arms wide, exposing his breast to the blade. With a grunt, the red-haired Maclaren turned and walked away without a word. The stranger drew a deep breath - he must know this one when he smelled him coming.**

**The men of his traveling party now flanked this stranger. He traveled with, and wore the tartan of Stewart's of Appin. They were known friendly to the Maclarens, so no new battle would arise simply by this act - but it had been bold, none-the-less.**

**"John, why did you stop him?"**

**"The final man of that clan was all that was standing. A family line should not be gone by an unseen attack."**

**"It will not go over well when we reach the castle."**

**"Is there honor in killing one whose back is turned?" John asked of his adopted family.**

**They simply returned to the trail and headed to the castle. They knew John was correct, but such bluntness!**

**~~~~~**

**The young fighter was the last though the portico as the fighting force returned to the castle, but the first to disperse from the other fighters. With deliberate stealth, the slight, but powerful figure climbed to the upper level. After dodging several ladies of the castle, the form slipped into a chamber and closed and latched the heavy door. This was clearly the room of a lady of standing. The colors were muted, and the room softened as much as the times allowed.**

**The kilt was dropped to the floor exposing the protective breeches that covered legs and lower torso. The remainder of the clothes soon joined the kilt. A body of pale skin now stood nude. The form moved to a side room where a large vat held a waiting bath. One leg, then the other stepped over the side and the body relaxed into the arms of the water - but this was no youth!**

**The lady Jane was not one to let her way of life be defended if she was not willing to do the defending as well! She diligently washed the blood, mud, and sweat from her hair and body. No one must know. It was unseemly for a woman to fight - especially the daughter of a chief!**

**~~~~~**

**The Stewart party arrived and were admitted to the grand hall. The feast was to mark the friendship of these two clans. It was to be a grand affair. Even the women would be introduced. Most of the Stewart arrivees were of similar coloring, except John. He was taller by a head, and much fairer of hair than any who traveled with him. His eyes matched the clear blue water of the lochs on a cloudless day - an unmatched blue. He was a standout in the hall, but he sought to disappear in the crowd.**

**~~~~~**

**As the now cleaned and primped Jane walked from her chamber, her warrior's garb hidden, and traded for her best dress, she heard the gossip that was rampant in such get-togethers.**

**"He was thought a ghost," one whisper started.**

**"The castle lay in ruins…"**

**"My husband was part of the party that found him - they say he was barely fit for human companionship."**

**Jane wondered of whom they spoke.**

**"John was adopted into our clan, after they tamed him of course!!" another laughed as Jane nearly reached her father's side. She must pay attention to whoever this 'John' was.**

**"My dear, come, introductions time," the Maclaren chief toned to his eldest. Jane would curtsy and let her hand be kissed as each of these noble men were introduced. Name after name attached to men Jane could look over were brought in a line. Finally, the last man stepped up. Jane looked up, expecting again to see a tangled mess of hair and a pair of eyes staring her straight in the chest, but instead she looked into the blue lochs that were held within the eyes of the adopted Stewart - John. Jane gulped. He was as tall as she - perhaps taller - and while he looked as though he had avoided bathing for a good portion of his life, Jane was drawn into his eyes, and shocked when she saw the number and condition of his teeth - they sparkled as he smiled.**

**'He's prettier than I am', was Jane's predominant thought. He took her hand.**

**"Lady Jane," he said, tipping his head down. He inhaled the scent of her hand and instead of touching his lips immediately to the back of her hand, he pulled her closer and whispered," or should I call you warrior maiden." He then proceeded to kiss her hand while her mouth gaped.**

**Oh my god, he was the one who stopped her on the field of honor - but how could he know? She had hidden her other life completely, and as a newcomer to this castle, there is no way he would know this secret!! He smiled knowingly at her, and Jane screwed a fake smile on her lips, lest her father get wind of this uneasy air.**

**~~~~~**

**Jane stewed all evening, but on the outside she was lightness and sweetness befitting the lady she was. The dinner now done, music for the dancing was beginning. Jane hated this. Give her a sword, and she was skilled, coordinated, but on the dance floor she had two left feet - but her partners would think she possessed many more feet!**

**The men who were about to dance each chose the woman they wished to be partnered with. For this first dance, that meant the unmarried within both clans. They found themselves a couple short at first due to the fact that John hoped to be overlooked, and Jane purposely kept to the back of the room, begging the gods to please not force her to again make a fool of herself. All the other singles had been pushed into the center of the room, but all were willing to let Jane slip the net. Her reputation for managing to injure the young fighters on the dance floor was known from far away, and none wished to be caught a man, or more, down. But John did not know or care her reputation, and he stood waiting.**

**She had almost been unnoticed, but it was her own father who pointed her out, directing John right to her through the crowd. Jane stood with her head down, her face scrunched. She saw the bare feet on the floor directly in front of her. John took her by the hand, and led her to the starting position. You could hear the moans and groans from the other dancers. To Jane, it was a deafening chorus, but John did not notice at all. All he could hear was his own heart beating - it filled his ears.**

**They began, and with John as her partner, Jane made every step unerringly. Never before had she been able to keep from tripping, stepping on others - how was this? In truth, Jane had trod all over John's feet, but he had made no indication to her or anyone else. Jane was floating on air, but still her mind could not put to rest the thought that he knew her secret. She would be glad when this night ended.**

**~~~~~**

**All the young men had filled themselves with drink and lay around the grand hall sprawled in sleep. The women had been escorted to the most protected sections of the castle - sharing chambers that locked that were far from any men. Honor demanded no less attention to such details. Those who were wed were, of course, allowed shared space, but no unmarried woman of either clan would be allowed left unsafe-guarded.**

**Jane was fortunate no one was imposed upon her in her chamber. After this evening, she needed the whole space for her thoughts. Somehow John knew her secret, and what's more, he seemed to know her heart. Each time they touched in the dance, Jane felt a surge go through her -but he was a danger to her. If he told her secret, she might well be banished, if not worse. After changing from her best dress into her sleeping gown, Jane went and sat upon the great chest that sat below the window that faced the interior of the courtyard, and also faced the other castle towers so she could see shadows in the windows across the way.**

**She sat for many hours looking out over the apple trees and small garden plots. What was she to do? After the sitting came the pacing. Back and forth in front of the window - how should she handle this? John had taken every opportunity to get close enough to her that he could have again made comment, but he did not. What game was he playing?**

**In the great hall, John had been awakened by the call of nature. He couldn't very well open the castle's main gate, expose them all to such a security breach, so he climbed up to the window opening, stood in the window, pulled the front of his kilt up to his waist and peed over the edge into the courtyard. He sighed with relief. Now done, he pulled the kilt back down, and let the light breeze blow across his face. That's when he saw her, pacing, breaking the plane of her window. She was awake - John was pretty sure he knew what kept her from sleep.**

**John crawled out the window, and with his toes wedged into the small spaces between the stones, he walked along the wall. When he reached Jane's window, her back was turned. Without a sound, John slipped within the lady's chamber, and stood watching her until she turned back. Jane gasped - there was a man in her chamber. She stood frozen, but John smiled. Jane gathered herself.**

**"If I were a man, I would have demanded you face me in a duel for what you did today."**

**"If you were a man - why not challenge me anyway?"**

**"You know very well why."**

**"Yes."**

**"But I must know - how did you know it was me?"**

**John approached one foot advancing then the other, but Jane retreated at the same pace.**

**"It was your smell," he answered.**

**"I bathe quite frequently. I can assure you I do not smell."**

**"Your scent, then."**

**Before another moment passed, John moved against Jane, wrapping his right arm tightly around Jane's waist, drawing her near. She could feel the tip of his nose touch her ear, trace down her jaw and stop when John lodged his head in the curve of Jane's neck, her hair enveloping his whole head. He inhaled her personal scent, felt it fill his senses. Jane's breath caught in her chest. Oh god, what was he doing? And why was Jane not trying to push him away or call out? Her whole body tingled, and she felt as if her stomach was flipping.**

**"You shouldn't be here," Jane managed to whisper.**

**"Because it is the house rule, or because your heart is afraid of feeling."**

**She should have slapped him, freed herself - something to put distance between them. But what Jane did do was wrap her arms around his neck, pulling him even closer. With his free left hand, John ran his fingers through her hair, the silky feel of it bringing a moan from his throat. Jane panted when she heard it.**

**"Will you tell?"**

**"About this, or your fighting?"**

**Before he gave her an answer, a sound in the hall caught his ears, and John was gone, back out the window he had come through. Jane ran to the window, and saw him slip into the window of the great hall. It was then that she felt the dampness from her body. She had felt a similar feeling each moon, but she had bled for this moon already, and this was somehow different. This was not an altogether unpleasant feeling to Jane. This wetness felt as though it was running through the hair between her legs, and it made her feel sensations she did not know. What had he done to her? She paced back and forth again, but the slippery sensation made her stop. Jane didn't know what to do, or what she was feeling. She fell onto her bed and silently sobbed. What was wrong with her?**

**Every time she would drift into sleep, the remembered feeling of his body pressed to hers would just start it all over again. In the morning, Jane was a gooey mess. She did her best to wipe herself of the hot liquid before going downstairs to break the night's fast. Jane was nervous, jumpy. Her appetite was off. All she could think about was last night, and how John had made her feel, and what her body did. Jane literally jumped when she heard John's voice say, "may I sit with you?" Jane gulped and looked up to see him standing there with his meal. She nodded down once, and John settled onto the bench next to her. She was instantly covered with goose flesh, and when John brushed his hand across her wrist, Jane had to suppress a nervous laugh. She felt such a fool. She pulled herself together, and rose from her seat.**

**"You are done so soon?" John asked.**

**"I find I have no appetite this morning," was all she said, and she took her leave of the great hall, speeding back to the physical safety of her chamber. John watched with concern as she quickly made her way away from him. Perhaps last night was too quick, but he couldn't help himself. He was sure he felt his feelings being returned. He did not know much of the ways of love, but he knew Jane stirred him in a new way.**

**~~~~~**

**John surveyed the great hall. It seemed all the house was in this room, eating, talking. John took the chance. He went to the window, and slipped outside unnoticed. He climbed up the wall, and made the path to Jane's window. He stepped in on the great trunk, and saw Jane. She was curled upon the bed, silently staring off into space. Had he caused this? He moved and sat by her side.**

**"I am sorry if I caused this from you. You have touched my heart unlike any other, and you bring feelings to me that I do not have the words for."**

**When she didn't move or respond in any way, he got up and headed back to the window.**

**"Wait," Jane finally mustered the courage to say.**

**"I feel the same."**

**John let out a deep breath. He had been told many times that there would be no wife for him among the Stewarts because he was not there to have the match made when he was young. He knew something had to have happened for Jane to have no husband while all younger siblings were already wed. He did not care what the details were. He wanted Jane. The fact that she was skilled with the sword, and willing to break the rules made her even more of a prize in John's eyes.**

**They wrapped around each other as Jane flew into John's arms. He again sniffed her along the base of her neck causing the cascade of shivers along her spine. John had seen the other young men when they tucked off to the corners with the women willing to accommodate them, and he saw them often start by pressing their lips to one another. John usually averted his eyes after that. While he was curious, he did not wish to be caught looking too closely, and he dare not ask the questions in his mind. They all seemed to know instinctively what to do with these women, but John had not been part of a society during the years where such knowledge was gained, so he just stayed clear of the whole deal.**

**John decided to try a kiss on Jane -perhaps she would be able to instruct him in this matter. He pressed his pursed lips to hers in a rough unpracticed way. At first she pulled back, but this was one thing she did know - not well, but this was not her first kiss - it was her second!! She moved back to him, and pressed her own lips to his. Their bodies just melted toward each other, and held on tight so they would not fall from the weakness that overtook their legs. Her other kiss did not produce such an effect in her. She could barely fathom it.**

**"I shall visit you again once the sun has gone from the sky. If I get caught here, I may not be allowed near you again."**

**"You will come?" she questioned, nervous and eager at the same time. Suddenly the thought of him not being close scared her immensely. Her heart did not pound like this for the man to whom she was promised, or maybe her memory had just dulled with time. Jane did not think that was the case. It had to be John who was causing these feelings - god, could this be love?**

**"Wait for me - when those in the hall have been called to sleep, I will come to you."**

**John again tried a kiss, and Jane caught his lips on hers, certain nothing else could make her feel like that. He was out the window, and away from her so fast she thought she would fall. Jane wished she knew if the returning wetness was part of this feeling called love. It was a topic not talked of to the uninitiated. If only her marriage had actually included a wedding night she would know these things, but it just was not talked about, and Jane was afraid to ask. When she was younger, and did dare to ask, all her mother would venture was "you'll know soon enough -your husband will teach you." How were any of them to know how that would go?**

**~~~~~**

**There was another grand sup, and the dance went on as well, but Jane was allowed to beg off.**

**"Father, may I be allowed to retire for the evening? I am not feeling well," Jane asked, wanting to go, to think about John and what the night might hold.**

**Her father agreed. As his eldest, he could not deny her requests, not after all she had suffered. As Jane climbed the stairs leading out of the grand hall, she made sure John saw as she flashed him a smile. He felt like he'd been hit hard in the chest. He had to see her now. He told his friends he was going to take a pee and then walk the grounds. The air felt too tight for him. They did not question since he often was in need of time to himself. They dared not challenge - he might turn wild on them. He kept just enough of that edge showing that others feared pushing him over it.**

**John slipped into the shadows and climbed. He quickly came to be outside her window, but he could hear more than one voice in the room. It seemed she had been accompanied by one of her sisters, just to assure she reached her room.**

**"I'm fine. I just did not sleep well last night with all these new people about. I will feel better in the morrow."**

**John heard the heavy door close, and listened for the footsteps to go away. From outside her window, Jane heard, "Jane", whispered. She moved toward, knowing his voice already, like it was born into her knowledge. He came through the window and took her in his arms.**

**"I could not wait 'til after they slept."**

**"Won't they miss you?"**

**"No, I have seen to that. My clan knows I need space, and they will not question my want to wander. Having one's own secrets, and an unknown past makes them willing to give me my time. They fear I will turn into the beast they found me as."**

**"All I have heard are rumors. Will you tell me?"**

**John nodded against her hair.**

**"When I was little, there was a Viking attack. My family, my clan were all killed save me. The castle was broken stone by stone to the ground level in search of the stores. My parents had been smart. After the outer walls had been completed, the strongest men of the clan set to putting a hole in the earth. It was to hold all we made or grew for when the fields were empty. The Vikings knew when we would have the most on hand, and timed their attack as such. They outnumbered my clan by many. I remember my mother taking me to the stores, telling me to be quiet, and to stay where I was until I heard no more sounds of battle. I do not know how long I was in there, but when I came out, all were dead. I found my parents. They died side by side defending our castle. They had kept me safe, and the stores would keep me alive for many moons."**

**Jane caressed John's cheek. He could see the sadness in her eyes for him.**

**"I lived and grew to as you see me. I learned to live off the land as the stores were used, or became unfit for me. I hid from the travelers who would night by the castle. Sometimes I would take from the groups things I needed - I did not know it was wrong, I only knew I needed. When the son of the chief of the Stewarts noticed his knife missing, along with a cut of his salted pork, he knew it had not been the work of an animal. He worked to befriend me. He offered food, water, and he didn't fear my outbursts. He was my first friend. I value him."**

**He looked at Jane to see her reaction. What he had told her did not seem to lessen that which grew between them. Jane was special. His heart had found its equal. It might seem too fast, but he must know.**

**"Jane?"**

**She looked right into those eyes of his and lost her breath.**

**"If I were to ask your father to give you as my bride would that please you?"**

**"I have no say in such things. Whether it please me or not would not matter."**

**"It would matter to me. I wish to lay with you, but I will not take your place in this family away. I wish to have my life linked to yours. I wish to come into this chamber, to you, through that door with no one to say I should not be here. Please, tell me it would be what you want?"**

**He looked almost desperate with desire.**

**"I would be pleased," Jane shyly spoke, her eyes averted to the ground, her cheeks growing more pink.**

**"Then on the feast of morrow, I will ask your father, and if he assent, I will take you as mine."**

**John turned to leave through the window, but Jane grabbed fast to his hand.**

**"Do not leave. If no one looks for you as you say, stay and hold me. Tell me more of your life."**

**John swept her into his arms, holding her as tight as life itself. While Jane knew it was not proper, she led John to her bed. They sat on opposite corners as John told her more about how he had lived. Both relaxed as the night wore on, and they touched hands and held each other. They both remained clothed. John knew that they were not yet to be that familiar. Just before the dawn, John awoke by her side. He kissed her forehead and was out the window before he could be seen.**

**~~~~~**

**The day dragged. Jane did her best to keep busy and not think about tonight. Perhaps his words had just been a means to spend the night with her. She feared he would not ask for her, and also feared that he would. It was all bringing back bad memories.**

**"Please don't let him be taken from me," Jane mouthed silently, "I could not bear this again."**

**~~~~~It had been a clear fall day. Jane had been made a dress that was the envy of both clans. She had waited for this. It was her wedding day. Two years hence forth from the beginning of her moon cycles (it had really been almost three years, but she dared not tell her mother. She was not ready to begin that march to be wed to someone who would tell her how to live) She knew the man she was to wed - he was a deal older, and she saw the way he looked her over. He would have preferred to keep to his wenching ways. He cared not to deal with a virgin, but she was well placed in her clan, and the joining would strengthen his own place and his clan.**

**Jane did as told. They were wed. A grand feast followed - mutton stew warmed them from the chill setting in, and breads and drink of all kinds sated the large assemblage. There was even a whole roast pig slaughtered and prepared for the wedding feast. Jane knew with each course served, she came closer to being alone with her husband the first time. Her mother's words about knowing soon enough became ominous somehow - why should she not know what was to transpire? If her husband was to teach her, then he must know what was to happen - why should the men have such an advantage? Jane got so nervous, she threw up. She was almost relieved when just before the couple were to climb to the marital chamber, an attack on the castle began. Another clan feared the uniting taking place within this castle. Her new husband took sword in hand and rushed, well flanked, out to protect the Maclaren castle.**

**Jane paced in front of the fireplace. All this fuss. She hated waiting out a battle. Why must they? And on her wedding day! When the enemy retreated this time, it was not without casualty. Her new husband was carried back in and lay in front of the fireplace. He was mortally wounded, bleeding badly. Jane knelt, taking the upper part of his body across her lap. He looked up at her. Her white dress was now covered in his blood. He touched her cheek, leaving blood there as well.**

**"My bride, I know it was not out of love that we were joined, but please, mourn me as if I had your heart."**

**His eyes shut, and his head fell limply away from Jane. She heard the final breath go from him, and he felt more heavily weighted, slipping from Jane's arms and to the hearth stones. Jane sat back on her heals. She looked down at her dress, and she began to wail. Her sister and mother tried to comfort her and get her from the room. Jane proved too strong for them.**

**"Why? Why? Why?" she wailed. It was not as the gathered believed. She was not so much thinking about losing this man, rather, she was damning herself for wishing for a distraction that would keep her from being alone with him. She was upset because now she still would not know what it was she was to learn from her husband this night. Jane now looked at the blood that covered a good portion of her dress. It mocked her. Jane shredded it from her body, and threw the pieces into the fire. She was nearly naked in front of all assembled when her brother grabbed a cloak as he passed it, and wrapped it around his sister before she could further embarrass herself and the family. This brother was close in age to Jane, and was the same wiry, strong type as Jane. He held fast to her from behind, pinning her arms to her sides, and he began to talk to her.**

**"He was not meant for you. You are deserving of someone who loves you. Please, it was not meant to be. You are too good for him. That is why fate intervened. This clears your path to find the one you were meant to love forever."**

**This was the first time Jane could recall his words. How did he know? Her most beloved brother had foreseen John's arrival in her life. She wished she could ask him now.**

**The battle that night did not end the siege. The attack on the morrow took the men again, and it took her beloved brother as well. She was more genuinely heart torn from that loss, but dared not let her mourning for her brother be more than what she did for her husband. Jane was nearly numb.**

**She went to her brother's chamber. She immersed herself in his belongings. She took his second sword, his spare kilt. She found the odd coverings - the breeches - or breeks, as he often called them- he had worn under his kilt. He never liked facing battle without them beneath. Something about nature being cruel she remembered him using as an excuse. She took those items, and a few others back to her chamber. She then shut out the world for three days. Before she re-emerged, Jane had decided she would stand for her clan. She would take her brother's clothes, and wear them as she wielded that sword in the name of Maclaren. She had no life left to lose; for with no husband, and no brother who understood her, all she had left was anger. ~~~~~**

**John approached her father. He was going to do this!**

**"Yes, my boy?"**

**"Sir, I respectfully request the honor of wedding your eldest, Jane."**

**"There is no dowry. You will gain nothing in this union. She was married before, albeit briefly, and her worth went to her husband's clan."**

**"I care not of material things, but I dispute that I gain nothing. I get what I desire. I want Jane."**

**It was blunt, but the Chief liked his honesty. He had heard nothing but good about this young man. It was then the first son of the Stewart chief, leader of this travelling party, and first friend to John, stepped forward.**

**"Sir, since John is not or our blood, and he is quite the skilled warrior, might I suggest he be adopted into the Maclaren clan?"**

**"John, now of Stewart, will you become Maclaren, and stay with your new bride at this castle?"**

**"As long as I may wed Jane, we could live in a hole in the ground."**

**A number of the Stewarts laughed, knowing the story of how he had started his life.**

**Though it wasn't normally considered, the Maclaren chief turned to ascertain his daughter's reaction to these proceedings. She was fixed on John, pride and love bursting from her. He had gone ahead and asked for her. She had never hoped. A single tear shed from her left eye. Her brother had been right. She was meant for a man who loved her.**

**"The wedding shall take place on the last night of this feast. Prepare the church, find the father. We have preparations to make - and keep those two apart until they have been bonded!!"**

**John and Jane each got worried looks on their faces. They had not known they would be kept parted until they were husband and wife. It was not thus the first time!**

**"Father?" she questioned.**

**"He will have you soon enough," he charged back.**

**~~~~~**

**They each were hurried off by single sex groups to prepare them for the ceremony, and the night to follow.**

**The men all took John to a final fling. They drank heartily, and even found a wench for the husband to be, but he declined. He also did not drink so much as the others. He feared that if he over imbibed, he could lose control and revert to his wild ways. As such, he knew how far he could go. And as for the wench, this was not a time to admit a total lack of carnal knowledge. He figured his love for Jane would make him know what to do when the time came. He knew that it required skin on skin for one to 'lay' a woman, but beyond that, he hoped Jane's first marriage had equipped her to show him if there was more involved.**

**Jane was taken to her chamber where she was presented with her new wedding dress. It was even more beautiful then the one she wore for the ill-fated match. It had a scoop neck with a corseted torso and a long flowing skirt. The midsection with the corset could be tightened to shape to Jane's body, and to assure everything was held up or down as the case may be. She held it up in front of herself and admired how much work had gone into this dress. Her eyes teared up. Part of it was from joy, but she still had a fair dose fear about this. If she lost another husband, and this one who made her feel unknown pleasant sensations, she would just die of a broken heart. She hoped her brother was watching over her now. He knew this was destined, and he had made this come true somehow for her. Jane looked upward to salute him, to show him her smile that was breaking through the tears like the black clouds separating to show a sky of blue.**

**~~~~~**

**Both were locked into guarded chambers for the night. They were across the courtyard from each other, and from the windows, each could see the other. He longed to be inhaling her scent, touching her body. She would be his, but the waiting would drive him crazy. Jane felt similar longings. This had been so sudden, but neither of them doubted this choice. It would be a tough night ahead.**

**For a whole day, they were to be kept from each other. Each was constantly surrounded by attendants to keep temptation at bay. On more than one occasion they had to be steered away from each other in the great hall. It was sheer torture, and totally unnecessary.**

**Another tortured night came and went before the day of the wedding. Once that dawn broke, preparations began in earnest. John was instructed to bathe -a man did not come in front of the lord and his family in such a dirty state. He scrubbed and washed until he shone. After that, he was presented with his wedding clothes. It was a kilt in Maclaren tartan, since he would be joining that clan, and a simple natural colored shirt with shell buttons. Knee high wool socks, also in Maclaren colors, and sporran with horse hair trim completed the gifts from his new clan. John owned no shoes, and hoped it would not offend anyone when he wore just the socks against the floor.**

**Jane also bathed. Her body was perfumed and her hair was sectioned and long curls were created with the iron heated in the coals of her fireplace. Several strands were left straight and those were wrapped around the crown of her head to keep her hair from her face. She now stepped into her wedding dress. The back ties were cinched down tight, pulling the midsection until it defined her slender waist and boyish hips. The advantage was that such a cinching made her appear to have ample bosom because all else was so tightly restrained.**

**At separate times, both were escorted to the castle church. John stood at the altar as Jane entered from the rear of the church. There was a group gasp. Jane looked royal. John held his breath as he watched her approach. His mouth hung open. She was breathtaking. Jane just concentrated on making it down the aisle without tripping and falling. It all had to go right this time. When Jane reached the altar, she looked at John for the first time. After his bath, his fair complexion really showed, and that hair - it was pure spun gold. The blue and green in his new kilt played off his eyes, and he smiled at Jane. They both felt the tingling in their bodies. The time was here.**

**Both were instructed to kneel. Those were the final words they would understand. The language of the church was a mystery of it's own. Both were spellbound by the Latin words of the ceremony being performed. For a time, it felt like everything around them had stopped. Each snuck a peek at the other. Soon they would be wed. Then it was over. John placed a gentle kiss on Jane's lips, and they filed out of the church to the grand hall where they would celebrate their union.**

**Food and drink surrounded them, swirled about them, overwhelmed them. It was a celebration of great joy. John did not let go of Jane once after the ceremony concluded. When she looked like the day had gone on too long, John could see it. He lifted her up in his arms and carried her to their chamber. They were followed by long lines of clapping clan members who hooted and hollered as they made their way. Even after the door closed them into the chamber, they could hear them out there. Over the next few minutes, the sound settled down. Jane hoped that meant they had gone, but in reality, they all now strained their ears, hoping to hear a shrill scream, and wondering how long this savage man would take to claim his wife.**

**John slowly approached her.**

**"The waiting was painful," he whispered.**

**"I thought I'd never last it."**

**They tightly wrapped around each other, and John breathed in through her hair. He slowly ran his nose around the back of Jane's neck, turning her as he went. He was now behind her, arms around her waist, big hands encasing her body. He stepped back and looked at the cinching tie that held her dress in place. He untied the bow at the bottom and slowly loosened the laces. She clung to the neckline as she felt the corset loosening. He placed his hands over hers and she released her grip on the fabric. He slowly slipped one shoulder out of the dress, then the other. He exposed her back to the waist.**

**"Is this alright?" he whispered.**

**Jane nodded slowly and freed her arms, bringing them up around her body. John let the remainder of the dress fall to the floor. Jane gulped and shivered. John stepped back and began to undress himself. Jane turned. He was removing the sporran. He moved to unbutton his wedding shirt. He looked up at Jane as she began to help him with the buttons, and he relinquished the task to her. John removed his kilt to allow Jane access to the last buttons on his shirt. Jane smirked when she noticed the knee socks still all the way up. Jane got down on her knees, and pealed his socks off.**

**John bent and put his hands around Jane's upper arms, leading her back to standing. Jane suddenly lurched into his arms. Her arms came up around his neck, and her feet left the floor. He moved them to the bed. He wanted to lay with Jane, feel her skin against his. He lay her down and began to touch her skin. She had interesting features. He tried to remember what he had seen over the years since he had been brought into the clan. Skin on skin, got that, what else? Kissing - that was another one. What else had he glimpsed while trying hard not to look at his friends with the wenches? They rocked a lot, and rubbed over each other, and, oh yeah… John opened his mouth and engulfed her breast. Jane took in a sharp breath and her back arched off the bed. He explored her body with his hands and mouth, and she couldn't help but do the same to him. After years of being told exploring her own body with her hands was wrong, she was careful to only touch him.**

**Her touch brought an unknown hardness to him. He slid down to keep from pressing this against her. A shiver ran through him as he felt that part of him slide across her skin and hair and finally bury itself in the bedclothes beneath them. She was feeling the warm wetness grow. He came down against her and slipped his fingers under her back. If there was any more to this, Jane would have to show him. Each waited for the other to take things to another place, but it did not happen. Both assumed this was all of it, but they had just experienced far more than ever before, and it left them feeling good. They slept like this, skin on skin, warmth to warmth. It was perfect.**

**~~~~~**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**In the morning when they emerged from the chamber to go to the great hall to eat, John's pals quickly grabbed him off and took him one way, while Jane joined her mother, and the women who know everything for her meal.**

**"Hey hey, John, how was that wedding night?"**

**"I bet she's a screamer."**

**"How'd she take it?"**

**"Give the man some time, boys, or he might blow!"**

**"Nah, he did that last night."**

**The ribald comments continued, and John was baffled, but he just played along smiling and laughing when they did, joining them as they raised their mugs to John's conquest! It was much the same with all the men of the castle. Clearly there was some information he was missing about what was to happen on the wedding night -why did Jane not tell him!**

**Jane was getting the same, but in reverse. She got pitying looks, wonderment at how she still walked this day. She too heard "how was the wedding night?" but the tone was anything but congratulatory, or happy. She was confused. There was no knowledge taught to her last night, and she felt lost. She went to her mother, and hoped that now, at last, her questions would be answered.**

**"Why do they all ask how "it" went? What "it" do they mean, and why should they all ask after my physical condition?"**

**"You did lay with your man?"**

**"Yes, he lay atop me all night, but there was no thing he taught me as you told me it would be. I like his touch, but surely that is not what you would not tell me? Please, I need to know if I did something wrong last night."**

**Her mother looked worried. John looked to be a normal man, why would he make such a plea for her, and then not take her fully? She called over one of the married members of the visiting Stewarts, and whispered her thoughts in her ear.**

**"Has John not the knowledge of the wedding night? Could it be that he does not know what to do with his bride?"**

**The woman hurried off to inquire from her husband, discreetly. It would not do to embarrass the man, but if he truly did not know, Jane would have to be told what was supposed to have happened, for her husband could not teach knowledge he did not possess. When the answer came back that none knew what John knew, but that he had not been seen partaking of the wenches, it created a small stir which Jane questioned further. Jane's mother had held off, hoping to have no need for this, because surely, now married, she would be able to gain the wisdom but it was not to be so. Perhaps Jane just did not understand, and he had performed his duties, just without sufficient girth for her to notice?**

**"He did not enter your body?"**

**"What do you mean?"**

**Jane listened wide eyed as the women of her clan told her what should have happened. Many told of their wedding nights, and of how painful and horrible it had been. Jane was appalled at the brutality of some of these husbands. Jane was assured that after the pain, there was a measure of compensating pleasure, and soon the pain would only be a memory. She was now terrified all over again -why had John not told her?**

**~~~~~**

**When they adjourned for the evening, both were nervously uneasy with the other, both assuming the other had not told something. John decided this cold silence had to be broken.**

**"Jane, everywhere I went this day, people asked how last night had gone, and other questions I had no answer for. Do you know what was meant?"**

**"I found much the same. I know what we did not last night. There was something that should have happened between us that did not."**

**"But you have been married before - why is it you did not show me?"**

**"I went from bride to widow without so much as a wedding night. I did not learn the knowledge from him, and my mother would not share. I think I understand why she did not want to tell me."**

**Jane told John what the women had told her this day. It was John's turn to be wide-eyed, but it did make sense as she described what went where. She told John about the pain before the pleasure, and he looked saddened for her, that he should be the cause of such pain for the one he loved so dearly.**

**"I do not wish to make you cry out in pain."**

**"And I do not wish the pain, but after we are used to each other, there will be only pleasure. My mother said it is worth the pain and that our union would not be complete without this. I am willing to take you into my body. I have waited, and I was blessed with your heart's love. Now I wish to know your body's love. I think if we start out like we did last night, and the more I know the feel of your body, the more natural it will feel. I think I am beginning to understand what your touch does to my body."**

**After hearing what a husband was to teach his wife, Jane had thought about how his touch seemed to be the cause of the wetness. She was a smart woman, and it dawned on her that, perhaps, that was supposed to signal her readiness.**

**Jane finished talking and started to undress. John did not let her do so alone. Soon they both stood there, like it was a do-over of the wedding night. This time, they would do what was expected of them.**

**John touched and kissed and licked and sucked Jane. She squirmed and wiggled and wriggled and moaned until she could feel the wetness return.**

**"I think I am ready," she whispered to him.**

**He had been hard for a long time, but was not going to make a move until she gave him a signal. He slipped out of her arms and moved down. He separated her legs and looked closely at the place he was to enter. It seemed to make sense. He then looked at that which was meant to enter and noted how much larger it seemed than where it was headed. No wonder it would cause Jane pain, John thought.**

**"I will try to not hurt you," he said as he neared entry.**

**She drew in and held her breath. He pushed into her. Jane bit into John's shoulder as she felt him keep going. It was more an unexpected intensity rather than pain Jane felt. John felt the pain of her bite lessen. It was a small price to pay if it eased this for Jane. She lay back feeling him inside.**

**"Have you felt the pain?" he asked.**

**"There was not pain as I know it to be."**

**"Did we not do it right?"**

**"I don’t know."**

**He moved slightly, causing him to slip back. He sucked in a ragged breath.**

**"What has happened?" Jane questioned, seeing his face fully flush.**

**"I think I know what I am to do."**

**He slipped back and forward again and again and again. Both felt a pleasure. After one more stroke, he filled her with his seed and it was over for him. Jane liked what there was to it, but did not understand why it should be kept so secret. She felt as if she were half way somewhere, and the journey just stopped. It just didn't feel like it should be over yet. And it had not been as she expected. She thought the women had exaggerated the pleasure to make her willing to do this. And what was this about pain? Jane felt no real pain. Maybe they were made for each other and it made their bodies prepared to be together without the need for pain. They had both suffered such pain in their lives already - maybe this was their reward.**

**~~~~~**

**In the morning, when both awoke, they were facing each other in the bed. They both shyly smiled at the other. When Jane had looked down again, John scooted toward her, holding her. His touch made her shiver all over.**

**"I think it was good. I am glad you did not scream."**

**He felt her head nod against his chest.**

**"I am glad to know this, and that I was with you."**

**Jane felt a burning blush on her cheeks, and she looked into his eyes. From her side, she rolled to her back, taking him atop her. He immediately kissed her lips and trailed to her breast. She had responded well to that so far, and for some reason, it made him feel good too. Her ivory skin was quivering, anticipating. Her breath was catching. She felt his hardness and braced herself. She opened herself to him - maybe this time would feel more complete for Jane.**

**In he went. Again it was four quick strokes and over. She already loved John, he filled her heart, but even though their bodies brought about pleasant sensations in the other, after such a long wait, Jane thought there would be more to it all.**

**He smiled contentedly at her, and rolled to his feet. He dressed while Jane lay there.**

**"Is something the matter?" He asked, seeing she had not moved.**

**"I feel as if I am missing something. I enjoy the feel of you, but you seem to come to a level of pleasure I do not reach."**

**"I am as new to this as you. Perhaps in time, we will both understand."**

**He smiled and leaned over her on the bed. She felt a strong pounding in her chest. He thrilled her when he looked at her like that.**

**"We shall find our way together," he told her, and gave her a good strong kiss on the lips. She couldn't help but smile back. She let a sigh of relief. He was right. They were new to this. Time and repeated joinings would show them what to do.**

**~~~~~**

**That whole day, the world looked different to Jane. Something felt different. Her body quivered deep inside, and she felt freed. Jane felt an odd confidence. She held her head high, and a smile went everywhere with her. It was like a weight had been lifted. Jane's years of anger had melted away. Everyone could see the roses on her cheeks. Jane would see other couples and wonder if they felt this way after the first time, and she wondered if the feeling continued, hoping it did. It was like all the colors were brighter, all the sounds harmonious. Even John could see this change in Jane, all since they left their chamber. It made him desire her all the more.**

**~~~~~**

**As the days went on, John and Jane came together frequently, often as a need when neither was expecting it. A touch, even a quick brush would find them feeling a desire. At times, they would have to search out a secluded corner because they could not escape to their chamber. They would get swept up and the need would become quite urgent. John now was lasting longer before the end came for him, and Jane was feeling the difference. Jane had still not experienced the level of pleasure she had been told to expect. Maybe having had to wait so long meant she would not feel as they had said. That thought made her sad, because she so wanted the love in her heart for John to be matched by a joy in her body.**

**It had been three weeks since John first stirred Jane with his embrace and inhalation of her scent. The full moon had come and gone, starting the next moon cycle. She knew her unclean time approached, and knew it would require an explanation to John. That morning they had taken each other with high passion. As he thrust wildly, he brushed across her most sensitive spot. Jane almost imploded her lungs when a wave of muscle contraction hit her. She had squeezed so tight inside it caused John to come to his end. He could feel the difference, but feared it meant that once again he was feeling a higher level of pleasure than she. When Jane sank her claws into his back, he knew she felt this too.**

**"You feel more?"**

**"Yes," she gasped.**

**A smile spread across his face. He had brought her to a new plateau. John would have to remember what he touched differently to bring this pleasure to his spouse. He spent all day thinking about her. It was a good thing there had been no attacks since the day of the wedding, for John could not have held the thought of how to hold the sword with all the thoughts of Jane in his mind. When he was not with her, he dreamed of her. Tonight he would give her pleasure again, and take pleasure for himself too.**

**When he got to their chamber that night, Jane stood nervously away from the bed. When he came and wrapped himself around her, sniffed her scent, she slipped away from his grasp.**

**"I smell blood - are you injured?"**

**"No, John, it is my time."**

**"Your time for what?"**

**"The time when I am unclean for you to touch."**

**She hoped that would explain for him, but it did not.**

**"Why must I not touch you?"**

**She realized the whole story was needed.**

**"John, once each moon, a woman bleeds for a number of days. It is a cleansing of the inside. Now is my time of the moon."**

**"All women do this? Every moon?"**

**"Yes, John, once a girl becomes a woman, unless a woman is with child, this happens. Some of the husbands still send their women away from their beds for the time of this. Do you wish me to go?"**

**"No," he said in a panic.**

**He still wanted to hold her, join with her tonight. Jane told them they could not while this happened.**

**"It also means we have not made a child," a slightly sad Jane said, her eyes averted. What if it was too late for her?**

**"How long will this be?"**

**"I am lucky. No more than 4 days. Others must endure more, and they do not deal as well as I. I do not know if our… joining… since my last time will change this. I have heard it might."**

**"When you are again clean, I will give you the new pleasure we found this dawn. But I can not spend one night without your scent filling my nose, or your body wrapped in my arms."**

**He led her to the bed and she smiled as he lay beside her and put his arms around her waist.**

**~~~~~**

**For the remainder of Jane's time, John kept himself busy with other pursuits. The Stewart party had long since gone home, and John knew few save Jane and her father. The chieftain had taken the boy under his wing, feeling it had been quite fortuitous for John to come to the castle when he did. It may have come to pass that Jane would take the order, and be sequestered among the holy sisters had John not asked for her hand. Jane's father did not wish his daughter to be out of his life as that decision would have taken her. John was truly a godsend!!**

**John joined the hunting party that went out this day. Though the others were skilled with their bows and knives, they lacked the stealth John had grown to rely on growing up along. He did not take the kill lightly, for he had been befriended by these creatures. Many times following and sharing their found water sources, and watching what plants they ate - noting those that were either avoided, or that soon after resulted in odd behavior and/or illness or death.**

**After the other hunters had spooked more than one deer, John broke away from the group. When he struck out on his own, the others watched him, scoffing at his ways, but they changed their minds when he returned not 20 minutes later, a large deer slung around his neck. He did not stop when he reached them, but carried his prize straight away to the castle, and set to butcher it himself. The other's carried on with the hunt, but returned at dusk with no major kills. Traps and snares they had set garnered them a collection of rabbit, and even a dumb quail, but not one of the others had been able to take down a deer.**

**While they toiled in the field, John carefully removed the fine, cream colored hide without marring it - it would make a fine piece for Jane - she had mentioned how wool made her itch. If she had an entire hide, she could have an outfit of the softest suede to touch her smooth, ivory skin. He smiled at the mental image of Jane dressed in such an outfit. He hoped her time was over soon. He got back to the task at hand. The whole house would eat tonight from this great beast, but first, he would honor this mighty creature.**

**He took the heart, and closed one massive hand around it. He closed his eyes, and growled as he took a bite of the heart in his hands. In the wild, creatures would go for the heart first. While to them it was a matter of knowing it was a rich meat, to John it came to signify the power of life. By taking even one bite, he was honoring the strength this creature had, and that it was now his. He wiped his chin clean, and collected the remaining entrails. He threw it all outside the castle walls. The roaming creatures, like John had been, would also eat well tonight.**

**When he was done, he took the portions of meat to the kitchen. There it was divided. Some would become supper for that night, but it was more than the whole household could possibly eat in one sitting. He left it to the discretion of those who knew better. Some would be smoked, some sliced thin and dried. With winter coming, the hunt would not always be an option, and these were a frugal people. Nothing must be wasted.**

**He took his hide to the best tanner of the clan, and expressed his desire that this fine pelt be made into an equally fine finished expanse of suede. He told her of his wish for Jane. She was an older woman, and she saw the spark in him when he spoke of his wife. She was honored to be trusted with such a piece, and to be making something that would please the chief's eldest. That girl deserved this. She smiled. Jane had gotten a good one this time.**

**John headed to the chamber he shared with Jane. His clothes were bloodied from the butchering, and he stank of sweat and blood. When he walked in, Jane spied the clothing and nearly lost herself.**

**"NO, no no, John!"**

**She ran to him, and searched for his wounds, certain she was about to lose him to a mortal wound that had bled him.**

**"I am fine. Jane, I am fine."**

**He stripped down to show her only the clothes' survival was in doubt. She sobbed against his now bare chest. She was still afraid he would be taken from her.**

**"Do not cry. I will not leave you."**

**She let go a deep breath. Her hands smoothed over his chest, and she looked up at his face. She slowly took his lips in a kiss that left both breathless. He looked questioningly, and Jane nodded. She walked him to their side room, and he spied the large caldron filled for a bath. Jane had said after her time was over, she would wash away its remains, and she would again be clean. John knew this meant they would again be together.**

**She stepped back from him and bared her body. He was close to salivating. He allowed her time to wash, and when she had finished, he could not hold back any longer. He got into the water with her. It was now that she scrubbed him clean of the blood that had soaked through his clothes. Her touch only further stimulated him. He growled in her ear. She felt the hair stand up on her neck. He kissed that neck, and her breasts, and stroked her legs as he felt them part and surround his hips. But John was afraid she would end up below the water, unable to breathe, so he leaned back the other way, taking her atop him. She was in his lap, straddling him, feeling his rub.**

**They had never strayed from the position they had used from the first time, but now, with her legs wide apart, knees bent up high around his chest, he placed his strong hands around her bottom, and pulled her. He slid in with ease. Her breasts were right in his face, and he began to suck. He would thrust in and then strongly suck one breast while he withdrew. All the push and pull at the same time was creating quite the sensation within her body. John remembered how he had rubbed that place last time, and it had taken Jane to a new level. He wanted that for her again. He had found it by accident last time, but he knew to look this time. While he was buried fully in her, one hand wandered down there. He felt the hardened place, and stroked a finger from where he was inside her to it over and over. He felt the tight squeeze and he lost it, shaking as he filled her. With a deep moan that echoed off the rounded walls of the large caldron, she felt him slip to nothingness within her.**

**It marked a change between them. John liked the different sensation offered by the changing of how they came together. He wanted to try other ways, learn what felt good. He encouraged her shy hands to roam freely on his body, and he even convinced her that touching herself was not bad. She would push her own breasts into his mouth, hold them together so John could suck both tits at the same time. He taught her to finger herself like he had in the bath. She found greater pleasure.**

**The post 'moon' baths became ritual. She always craved him the most then. She did not know why, but it felt so imperative to have him the moment the bleeding had stopped. Two seasons, almost half a year as we know it, had passed since the wedding on the harvest feast with the Stewarts. They were very happy, but Jane wished to find a time when the bleeding did not come. She wanted their union to produce a child. How could it still not be so? It made Jane sad to think she had found John too late to carry his line, and hers, forward.**

**Moon after moon would come. John stopped asking if she could be with child because it only saddened her. To cheer her spirits, the deer hide was now a soft sheet of suede. He presented it to her. With the help of the other women, part of it was fashioned into riding leggings. Her father had traded for a number of wild ponies, and Jane was determined to learn to ride one. The rest became a matching top. The first time he saw her standing in the completed clothing, he took her fast. She showed him the feature of the lashing in the crotch that held the two sides together, and could be untied quickly for such activities. His Jane was always thinking ahead. Jane also learned that while riding, the bulky lashing pressed and rubbed in just the right place as she was thrown down against the pony's back.**

**~~~~~**

**When the warmth returned to the air, and the crops were sown, John asked if Jane would like to see where he had grown up. He wanted to show her what he saw, how he had lived, and where the young Stewart had found him, beginning his journey to her. She was excited. The Maclaren chief was reluctant. His daughter was his prize, and the journey would be arduous and dangerous, but Jane's eyes silently pleaded with him. He still could refuse her nothing. For the trip, he presented the pair with a gift - a fine pony. It was a strong creature. The combined weight of John and Jane posed no challenge for the dappled gray, but John would only ride sometimes. They liked the feel of riding against each other.**

**The first part of the journey took them to the Stewart's lands. John told his first friend about the trip, and he gladly came along with a party of his own to complement those who came from Maclaren castle. They were now a party of about 20 - Jane the only woman. They made good time.**

**John had joined Jane on the pony in the lead. They were just far enough ahead that they could not be heard unless it was a yell, and their movements were not entirely clear. He turned Jane to face him, brought the bottom of her skirt up around his waist and untied the riding leggings just enough. He lifted his kilt and she saw him big and ready. The movement of the riding had triggered his ardor. She smiled wickedly and wrapped her knees around him at mid thigh. The movement of the horse also directed their pace.**

**From the rest of the pack, John's Stewart friend saw Jane's feet come up quickly behind him, and he knew she was faced toward him. He smiled, knowing what they were doing. He appreciated the challenge of what they were doing. He spurred his horse to pick up the pace, and pulled along side the pair as they had just finished.**

**"Well, well, John, seems you have, a, risen to a number of challenging situations since we last held company."**

**He rode by and took the lead from John. John and Jane both blushed. He laced her back up, and she turned front again like it was nothing.**

**They stopped for the night.**

**"Malcolm," John addressed his Stewart friend as they sat around the fire they had built, "we are two days yet?"**

**"About, but if we make good time, we may reach the outskirts in one. What made you want to come back?"**

**"I wanted to show Jane where I started my journey to her. I have lived among her people, in her lifelong place. I wanted her to see my home."**

**Jane was in his arms. He was not shy to say these things in front of her, or any man of the group. His love was something he was proud of. The other men envied him in this one way - he could speak of love, from his heart, and no one would think him weak. It made him even more respected among the clan.**

**~~~~~**

**The time grew late, and it was time to take sleep for the journey yet ahead. They began to settle for the sleep when Jane said, "I must relieve."**

**"I'll come - there are many great creatures among this wood."**

**John and Jane made way into the darkness so Jane could do as she had said. They reached a great tree, and Jane unlashed her riding leggings, all the way so she could take them off this time. It would not do to soil the leather, and Jane never did like having to squat. Her aim was bad and often resulted in a trail of pee clear down the inside of each leg.**

**John took the leggings from her and allowed her to relieve herself. For once, she managed to keep dry. When she again stood, John watched her movements. He looked fiercely determined. He swung her around until her back was pushed against the tree they had gone behind. He gathered her skirt, and swung up his kilt. Before gravity could drop it again, he was within her.**

**"John," She whisper gasped, "they are just a few paces away."**

**"I need you."**

**His movements made her moan loud enough for the others to hear. She was instantly blushing, knowing all would know what the couple was up to.**

**Back in camp, Malcolm couldn't suppress the smile or the comment.**

**"Looks like there is no greater creature in these woods than John himself!"**

**Jane could hear the outburst of laughter, and her cheeks became even more pink.**

**"Do not think of them. They know we are married. It is our right to be together."**

**"I know John, but they…"**

**He kissed over her words, hoping to stop her worries.**

**"Do you not remember - in the castle hall - your father turned far more pink than you now!"**

**"John," she said in surprise.**

**"Men and women join - they all knew that long before we did - I will not be sorry that I desire my wife."**

**During the whole conversation, he was deep within.**

**"Now…" John again spoke, "I…will…make…you…OOOOHHHHH"**

**Each word was a stroke. Despite her embarrassment, she had to admit, it was the best yet between them. They waited for their hearts to stop pounding, and the flush of their faces to dull. When they came back into the camp, spontaneous applause erupted, much to Jane's returned embarrassment. She turned to bury her blushed face in John's chest, hiding her eyes and from the men. John held her tight, and they settled together for their night's slumber.**

**With first light, the party arose. They broke the fast with dried meat, and the remains of loaves that had been fresh when they left the Stewart castle. Now several days old, they wet them down to make them pliable for ingestion. Some dried fruit topped off the meal. They would hunt for small game for the meal at high sun. It would not be right to take a deer for such a small party traveling light. Partridge, quail, or rabbit would be less wasteful for their purposes.**

**~~~~~**

**Malcolm had been right. They made good time, and arrived in the area they sought before the nightfall. They would come to the ruins of John's home castle by high sun of the morrow. Jane was tired. The terrain had kept her, and the rest of the party, from their horse's backs, and while Jane was well conditioned, she was not used to travelling so far from home, and so far from her bath! Her muscles ached, and without a soak, she was not going to soothe them. All the riding had used new muscles -and then there was the time astride the pony!**

**After supping, Jane was ready to sleep. John could see it, and gladly wrapped her in his arms so they could share their warmth while they slept. Jane was worried the trip would take more than three weeks. She was not sure she was prepared to handle her time while on this trek. It had taken 4 days to this point, and if they arrived on the morrow, that would be 5. She did not wish to seem like she was rushing him away from his home to return to her own. Nearly a fortnight for the travel alone, she hoped it would not take that long for John to share his memories of the place. She had to stop worrying. John would understand.**

**~~~~~**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

John and Jane rode together the next day, both feeling the drain of the trip. They came over a rise, and John was suddenly charged with energy. He leapt from the pony, grabbed the lead, and began to lead it along. 

"We are here," he said by means of an explanation. Jane also brightened.

John now stopped the pony and lifted Jane down. A few stones sat around on the ground. You could tell a great structure once stood. The walls must have been many paces long and high, though now not one part stood more than John's height. The remaining stones of the foundation looked more like grave markers from a long neglected cemetery. The entry to the underground stores was not visible to Jane, but John walked without a moment's hesitation to the small place where he entered and exited for all those years of his life. He pulled Jane along with him after handing the reins to Malcolm. 

"This is where I grew," John said over his shoulder as he pulled aside the vines that now covered the way to the stores. Jane was surprised when John opened the room for them to enter. They went down six steps, and were surrounded by the small stone lined chamber. This place had saved John's life, and its contents had sustained him in the beginning of his long alone time. Jane felt like she had stepped back in time, and she saw the same within John's eyes. For a moment, he was 5 years old, just stored here himself by his mother on the day fate changed his life. He crouched and hugged his knees, rocking slightly. Jane knelt before him. She watched the changing time of his expressions. He wanted to show Jane his place, but he was experiencing something he did not expect. There were more memories in this place than he ever thought. It had been all about survival his time here, but he had no need for pure survival anymore. He remembered details; he could even hear his mother's voice.

"I hear her," John whispered to Jane.

"Who?"

"My mother. She would sing to me. Her voice was so sweet…She loved me, more than her own life, she loved me."

"Yes, John."

He held Jane now, and she used all the strength in her body to hold him tight. She wanted him to know he was not alone, and he never would be again.

"Do you remember what she looked like?" Jane whispered into his hair.

"She was tall, strong. He hair was gold like mine."

John was taking control of the flashes now, and he stood himself and Jane up. 

"I remember so much of it."

His eyes fixed straight ahead.

"What is it, John?"

"My mother often stored something in that wall," he said pointing.

Jane went to the wall and fond a loose stone. With John's help, they pulled it free. It revealed a cask built into the space behind the wall. It was sealed, or was it? John pushed, but it didn't budge, but Jane saw a pair of finger catches on the lid, and pressing in the right spots, was able to rotate the lid and it pushed in. John reached into the dark depths, wondering what he would find. His hand came to rest on something soft. He brought it forth, and took it from its long slumber within the wall. It was too dark in the stores to see what he had found. They walked to the opening, and when the light was high enough, they both saw a pile of cloth squares, upon each embroidered words. Jane began to read the top one

"…I left the Danes as they were a-viking among the Gaels. Hamish promised to take my hand, and make me a bride before our son would be named as bastard. His promise was good, and we wed within the church of his father's castle in the highlands. He knew I would not make the great journey to the unknown and the unbuilt castle as I became great with child. And were it possible, I would have many babes inside for the way we were after the ceremony. He took me as often as our breath would allow, hoping for all to hear us and not question how I could bring forth a child so quick… - John, this was done by your mother I would say. I think it is her story - and if it go on, your story as well."

John looked to his Jane. He loved to hear her voice saying his mother's words to him. 

"And look at the handiwork! John, I have never seen finer stitches. Your mother was quite skilled, and very clever to have done this. It is your legacy!"

"We will bring it back with us. I wish to hear you read it all to me. Do not tell the others. The Stewarts have always wondered how I came to be, and I wish to know the answer to that before they."

Jane nodded and tucked it beneath her skirts. She moved into the depths of the store to do that because she did not wish to be spied placing their finding, nor did she wish the other men to see what belonged to John. She was never to share those parts of her body with another man, and John was to be hers alone. They had made such a promise.

~~~~~

Each day they were there, John remembered another bit of his childhood - many things from before the attack. He showed her his favorite view, and where the animals taught him what vegetation was good to eat. The whole party slept within the footprint of the castle ruins. They had set up a makeshift camp, even found enough of the stone cook stove intact to use it for cooking, and heating, as it was still a bit chilly on the nights.

Almost every night, John and Jane had found a secluded place, often within the walls of the stores. This night, they never managed to leave their seclusion. They woke repeatedly all the dark hours and could not refrain from taking each other each time. John was full of animal desire, and even took Jane from behind several times. At first, she objected, but there was something so primal in the way it felt, and it did leave him in the perfect position to give her multiple pleasures.

Jane learned much about the place, and she listened to the stories the men told about the Vikings. They all thought them godless barbarians. Jane had to bite her lip. She knew it was more than likely she held Viking blood because of the shade of her hair. It was known that they had intermingled in the Scottish bloodlines, and the Maclarens were no exception to that. In a way it angered her that they would make such broad assumptions, but then she remembered how John had come to be alone. But were the clans any less violent to each other? Jane had fought former friends and neighbors over insults ranging from an unintended sleight, to a comment about how the sheep were kept pregnant by son's of chiefs. She had been privy to such things only because she had been among the men as one of them. She kind of missed that part of her life right now. These men had reminded her of the camaraderie among fighters. After this time together, they knew Jane laughed at their racy comments. If not for the fact that she and John spent the nights banging away, they might have forgotten there was a woman among them. She proved strong and capable, and willing to toss in to do her share. Jane enjoyed it all so much, but they were nearing a week here now. 

Another day came and went. Jane was reclined on a foundation stone, staring up at the sky. The moon shone bright, and it had that look of the shell buttons - that part of the shell that changed from green to blue to yellow as the light struck the surface differently. John found her there, focussed on the moon. He slipped in behind her, holding her, and kissed her cheek. She had to tell him tonight - they must leave for home so she did not have to deal with her time among these men. She opened her mouth to speak, but John's voice caught Jane off guard.

"I know we should leave for home soon. You watch the moon for its changes, and you see the time is near. After one more day, we will start our way back. I was glad to have this much time to show you this place. I know nothing is left, but it is still home to me, and we did find our treasure here."

Both smiled at the mention of the needlework story - a tiny tapestry, or many tiny tapestries as it was. 

"I did not think you had noticed."

"I know you in the greatest detail. Will we get to the castle in time for you?"

"If we can take the same pace home we did here."

"I will see to it. I will tell the men tonight that the morrow will be the last to wake among these remains. We are going home."

He kissed her again, and went to the fire circle around the old stone chimney of the cook stove.

"We have home castles to return to, clans who need our strength. I think it is time to start the journey home. We rest tonight, prepare on the morrow, and trek the next day forth."

~~~~~

The following day was one of leisure. They slept late, ate well, and gathered the horses and ponies for the trip home. Jane was happy to be going, but sad to leave this behind. It was all so simple. No politics, few worries, and just time alone with John, and the finest group of men she had ever met. 

With a bright moon overhead, John woke Jane from her sleep. He led her to the highest point of ground.

"Here, under the moon that saw me grow from child to man, I pledge to you my undying love. Finding you was the reason I lived."

Jane was very touched, and tears crawled down her cheeks as she watched John slip to his knees. His arms were wrapped tight around her legs as he headed downward. Jane gasped as she felt his hot breath exhaled against her thighs. 

"John?" she whispered, about to lose herself to the throbbing deep within.

His hands wandered under her skirt, massaging her legs, working higher and higher. If Jane waited any longer, she would not need John to fulfill the building passion in her. She moved him to his back, lifted his kilt with her prehensile toes, and dropped upon him, plunging him deep within her. 

There atop the highest hill, in full view of the full moon, the shadow of two as one was outlined for all to see. They both cried out into the night as passion consumed all their senses. It went unnoticed by the group within the footprint of John's family castle. It was John's way of thanking the land of his youth for blessing him with this woman. He hoped in return they would be blessed with a new generation. His parent's spirits were here, and he hoped showing them how he loved Jane would help them be blessed with a child.

~~~~~

The trip home was uneventful. They hunted small game, made camp each night with a fire to cook their catch, and made good time. By high sun of the fourth day, they had made it back to the Stewart lands. The party broke along its clan lines, and John and Malcolm embraced heartily. Malcolm even kissed Jane's hand and bowed to her. He had seen a wonderful change in John's behavior, and he knew it had to be because of Jane, but he had known Jane his whole life, and the changes in her were also remarkable. He could not deny they belonged together. It put joy in his heart.

"Malcolm, thank-you for coming along on this journey. It was good to be in your company again," John said.

"The pleasure was mine. Married life surely agrees with you both. Safe journey home."

Both smiled at Malcolm, and then John lifted Jane upon her pony again, and took the leads.

"We may reach the crossroads by nightfall, and place ourselves just short of home. You could be in your own beds, or anyone else's you prefer, one day hence!" John said to rally the Maclaren men to speed their journey. 

~~~~~

After the night by the crossroads, they were up early. John and Jane rode together, leading the way. As they neared the castle, they noticed increased traffic. By the time the outline of Maclaren castle was in sight, they were amid crowds of people. Jugglers, stilt walkers, merchants and wenches lined the streets, and walked them headed toward the castle as well.

"What is this?" John asked his Jane.

A smile spread across her face.

"It is May-Day, my love. I had forgotten. Did you not attend the carnival last year?"

"I was but off being a wild man. Meeting you on the harvest was my first event allowed with the Stewarts. They feared my temper, that I would not handle the throngs of people without going mad."

Jane leaned to him, hoping to comfort those thoughts from his mind.

"Well, this year, I will show you what you missed."

She kissed her husband, and they trotted on toward the castle, and their waiting chamber within.

~~~~~

They were greeted warmly amid the hive of activity for the May-Day carnival. Jane's father was quite pleased that they had returned. His Jane looked refreshed, happy. After such a trip, it was good to see the couple still looked very much in love. He hugged his daughter, and gave a strong handshake to John. His eyes twinkled at the couple. His joy at their return almost sparking tears.

"You two are a sight for sore eyes," he told them, "Go clean up from your trip - I wish to hear all about it."

They wove their way through the crowd until it thinned out once they climbed the stairs. Word of their return must have reached ahead of them because a cauldron of water awaited them in their chamber. Both felt the need for a bath, and a shared one would have its own benefits.

John and Jane were unclothed quickly. John lifted Jane into his arms, and carried her to the bath. They both sank into the water. After travelling for so long, it was good to be home. They helped each other clean up. God, he loved the way the water drops cascaded down her breasts. He was enticed to follow the paths with his fingers. Jane breathed hard as she felt the touch of his hands. By now it should be routine, but it still thrilled Jane unbelievably. John moved them around so Jane was in his lap. His hands kneaded at her breasts, and then one broke away to wander her thigh, and then stroked her deeply. She spun quickly and they thrust at each other. While her back arched away, John leaned in to suck one breast then the other into his mouth. The power of his suck, the feel of his movements, all conspired to bring Jane quickly to the brink, and swiftly push her over. A loud moan filled the air and echoed against the stone walls. 

"I love you more each time," John sighed.

"And I cannot imagine not knowing the pleasure of you," Jane answered.

Now both contented, it was time to dress for supper. Clean clothes felt good on their freshly washed limbs and torsos. They slowly made their way to the grand hall, and sat at her father's right hand. 

"I missed having you both at my table," he told them, "I trust all went well on the journey?"

"Yes," John answered.

Jane smiled at his succinct offer. 

"Father, the land of John's youth is beautiful. I understand him more fully for having seen it. Thank-you for the pony - It made the trip manageable. How have things been here?"

"It has been quiet. I think you two took all the trouble makers with you. I have never seen it so calm within these walls."

"They were all gentlemen father. Good men. The kind who know how to fight to defend honor."

"I am glad you enjoyed yourself," he said as he patted her hand with his own.

John and Jane were weary from the journey, and after eating, they retired to their chamber to actually sleep. They needed to rest up for the carnival. Jane wanted John to get the full experience. Jane herself had never been much for May-Day since it often included wild sexual romps which had only served to confuse her before, but she might be tempted to play some of those games if John was willing to play along. They snuggled down tight together. Both breathed a sigh of relief as the comfort of the bed reached them. John put his large hand across Jane's abdomen. Soon, a child would feel this touch of love. He wanted for them to have a baby. He had no doubt that the symbolic plea he made for his parents to bless his union would make it so.

~~~~~

Come the morning light, Jane awoke to see John watching her sleep. She smiled as she came awake, and rolled and gave him a kiss.

"Morning," she warmly mumbled.

"The carnival begins today," he answered.

"I know. Are you rested?"

"Are you?"

"Uh-huh."

"Then we should go, see what it is all about. I want you to show me."

They both quickly dressed, but Jane spied the small pack of belongings they had taken on their journey. Jane had managed to hide the textile diary from John's mom within the bundle. Now that they were home, she would need to find it a place to lie secret. Jane opened the great chest that still sat below her window, and dug to the bottom. There she found the kilt and breeks, and the sword all obtained from her brother's belongings at the time of his death. She froze for a moment, and John came to her side.

"Do you miss the fighting?" he asked.

"I only fought because my clan needed me, and I would again pick up the sword if I was needed. I have seen many die for my way of life. It is only fair that I would fight for that as well…No one has ever found my secrets here, so this is where I will add your secrets to my own. Together, we will read about your family, but then we hide it here, where prying eyes can not find it."

Jane placed the cloth pages flat, and pulled her other items over the top to hide them. She closed the top of the chest, and they both took to their feet, and headed out to see the carnival.

The couple ate and played their way down the main strip of the carnival setup. There were games of chance, and John won a good many of them because he could sense a skip in the heart beat, or see fear in the eyes. Each trinket he won he would give to Jane, and she would smile and accept each piece. They tried exotic foods with unknown spices, and soon found it was safer to have a mug in hand before tasting began. Both thought on more than one occasion that they had found the reason for the fire-breathers to be able to expel such flames. They had eaten at these booths!!

By mid afternoon, John and Jane were experiencing exhaustion. The trip had taken more of them than what one night could restore. A nap was in order. They made their way back to their chamber, and took to the bed for much needed catch-up sleep. They could hear the din of the carnival, but it was not to stop them from sleeping. By the time they woke, it was sunset. Outside, bonfires had been stoked up to keep the light level so the games could continue, though some of the games that started after dark were better left in the dark! Screams of delight could be heard, as well as moans from every dark corner around the castle walls. 

"What games do they play in the darkness?" John asked.

"The same kind of games we play in the darkness," Jane answered.

John looked questioningly at her.

"That's why I was never interested much in May-Day. I did not understand how it could be fun for a woman to run unclothed through the woods, man at her heals, and wait to be overtaken. I didn't know what happened when she got caught."

"I do not need the chase, I have caught the prey I want."

John playfully nipped at Jane's neck.

"Why, my husband, I do believe you are nibbling my nape."

"For starters, anyway."

His hands kneaded her breasts, and she felt him harden against her back. Before they were even away from the window, they were joined. The deed done, they fell upon the bed, and slept straight through until morning. 

~~~~~

When they looked out over the grounds, it looked more like a battle had raged than a party. The burned out remains from last night's bonfires left large charred circles. Some couples still lay about, and dogs battled over remaining scraps of food and refuse. Within two hours, it was again a bustling carnival full of people and sounds and smells. John and Jane had done all the carnival things the day before. They chose to keep out of the fray this day.

After breaking their fast, choosing simple foods to counteract the richness of yesterday's indulgences, they returned to their chamber. They settled onto the bed with the cloth diary, and Jane read all of the first entry to John.

"…I left the Danes as they were a-viking among the Gaels. Hamish promised to take my hand, and make me a bride before our son would be named as bastard. His promise was good, and we wed within the church of his father's castle in the highlands. He knew I would not make the great journey to the unknown and the unbuilt castle as I became great with child. And were it possible, I would have many babes inside for the way we were after the ceremony. He took me as often as our breath would allow, hoping for all to hear us and not question how I could bring forth a child so quick. 

My family was not pleased by this turn, and had I not been with child, they would have insisted on my return to honor the contract to marry Ragnar. He was a large man, in all manner, but he was not skilled. He relied upon his size alone to win his battles, and was equally as oafish in his conquests. I avoided his crushing advances - I had no desire to be rendered asunder by the likes of Ragnar. 

As the time of our child's arrival neared, we discussed names - I was in favor of Haldan -in honor of the Dane blood that made half this child, but Hamish was worried it would make him a target among the Scots. He would be called savage, and made to fight because of his Dane's blood. It was not again talked of until the child came forth. I had known it would be a boy - no other could cause such disruption with a mother's body. We chose the name JOHN. He has my coloring, but his father's eyes and chin. He was strong from birth, with a will to take my milk powerfully. At times both father and son partook of my milk, soon followed by the try for a brother or sister for him. The boy has witnessed many encounters between us. Hamish is easily brought to a desire, but slow to discharge. I take great pleasure in his length."

Jane turned and looked back at John's face. She smiled at him, and stretched, leaning back against him heavily.

"That's page one - shall I go on?"

"Perhaps on the morrow. It is much to take in."

"I will put it away for now then."

Jane buried the diary in the great chest, and returned to the arms of her lover and husband. They lounged until it was time to sup. Jane would be glad when things returned to normal after the carnival. It was fun, but it made all passions come to a boil. Most were there for fun, but rarely did a May-Day pass without some insult being issued causing a feud that demanded an honor battle. With Maclaren castle hosting the carnival this year, they would be in the middle of any such sleight.

~~~~~

The great hall was filled beyond its capacity with those dining and wishing to dine. Many laps served as tabletop as all tables were tightly crowded. John and Jane kept a hand clasped so they would not be carried far from each other as they traversed the narrow spaces open for walking. When it became nearly impassable, John lifted Jane up to his shoulders and let her point him to the walk-able spaces. They collected enough food for two, and retreated to their chamber yet again. It was just too crowded. Jane waved to her father as they left the hall, and he smiled at their antics.

There was only one more night of carnival left, but it was the loudest yet. Much drink was consumed, and tempers flared. John and Jane were stationed in front of their window when the glint of swords flashed in the light of the closest bonfire. John was quick to react, and leapt out the window to stop this before it got out of hand. He was quickly to the ground and took the sword hand of each combatant, stopping them much the way he had stopped Jane the day they first encountered each other on the field of battle. Both men were shocked that a single hand could stop their blade!

"Stop this," John roared, "Honor will not be served for either family should you blindly flail in only the light of the fire!"

"The morrow will see your blood spilled for this!" one of the men spat.

John stood between these men and their parties until both dispersed. John's reputation was well known, and feared. The wild man could strike at the slightest provocation!! If only they knew the truth of his gentle soul and how love had made him rather spend his time giving pleasure to Jane than anything else. It mattered not now, it was put off 'til the morrow, and John was quickly back up the wall and into Jane's waiting arms. She breathed a sigh of relief, and drew him to the bed. 

"The crowds will be gone, replaced by honor's fight. I know I used to be among those willing to pick up a sword for the smallest wrong, but I was carrying much anger. Now all the death just hurts my soul."

"It is the way. Perhaps if all found our connection, insults would fall on deaf ears."

~~~~~

When the day broke, not only did two men looking to settle honor show up, the force of each clan was there too. All were dressed in their tartans, swords ready. The fight began, and the clash of metal resounded. A number of men fell quickly, including the two who had demanded this honor fight. That should have been the end, or at the very least it should mean these men would fight until not one among them stood, but the tide turned, and suddenly, the two sides banded together, and started an assault upon Maclaren castle. 

The men who stood guard set to repel this attack, and sounded an alert for all fighters. John heard the call, and threw on only his kilt. He grabbed his sword and away through the window he went. Jane was quickly to her feet, her heart pounding as she watched John move into the battle. She tried to just stand there, just watch, but it was more than she could stand. Jane opened her great chest, and collected her fighting gear. No honor battle was going to take this husband from her. She would fight by his side.

Jane used the window as well. And as she ran into the battle, she yelled a fearsome sound. The red-haired fighter had not been seen in some time, but all knew the sound. Jane's fighter persona was a direct line to all the hatred within her. It had been her brother's death so soon on the heels of losing a husband that she had used to fuel her power, but that had all left her. What replaced it was a determination that she would not be alone again. 

Jane turned back a good many men. Her speed was her asset, and she used it fully, dizzying her opponents with her quick movements, allowing her to catch them off guard. Now clear from all enemies, Jane scanned the field for John. It was hard to miss a tall blond wildman. Everything went into slow motion as she saw and enemy approaching him from behind.

"JOHN!!!" she yelled, hoping to alert him to his danger. He turned, knowing Jane's voice was warning him. His sword blocked what could have been a deadly blow, and he took the man down who had attempted this. He looked long across the field, and spied Jane. He let out a yell that was echoed by Jane and then the other Maclaren fighters.

Then Jane's face became wrapped in a worried look. With a final burst of life, the man at John's feet had reached and slashed John diagonally across the chest. From where she was, Jane could not see how deeply he had been cut, but she saw blood, and saw John fall to the ground. 

Suddenly it seemed all the remaining enemy fighters were between Jane and her wounded husband. A rage filled her. Jane ran and slashed and clashed with no fewer than 10 men. All fell at her feet as she cleared the field to reach John's side. Her rampage had ended the battle, but she cared not. She reached John's side and fell to her knees. She leaned over him, praying he still had life in him. Jane touched the cut that ran him. His skin was opened, but he was intact - no innards protruded. 

Why did he not move? Jane shook him.

"John?"

He moaned, and started to move. John had gone down hard. A mild blow to the back of the head when he impacted the earth had turned him dim. Now as he came to, He saw Jane hovering over him, but he had the presence of mind to think of her.

"Jane, you must not let them know."

Jane nodded to him, and slipped an arm under his to help him stand and walk him back to the castle. Jane had the strength of many men as she got John to the castle. The red-haired fighter got praise for taking down so many, and for saving John. All knew of the chieftain's fondness for the husband of his first born, and knew he would gladly offer a reward to this fighter. Jane ignored it all, and began dragging the stumbling John to their chamber. 

Several stopped the pair to ask if they could help, but John found words.

"No, my friend, I will be seen to my and Jane's chamber, and there I will be administered to by she."

As Jane negotiated the steps supporting not only her weight, but John's as well, she grabbed a stray mug that sat left where another of the Maclaren fighters had left it when the call to arms had sounded. John was able to ease the burden as time passed and his senses cleared. He was under his own power as the chamber door closed behind them. Jane lay John down on the bed and stripped him of the kilt to assure the wound did not extend below it. She breathed a sigh of relief. Jane came free of her fighting clobber and stored it quickly before calling for the means to repair her husband.

Jane wet a rag, and bringing her pitcher and bowl, had fresh water on the standby as needed. She found a fair amount of blood along the line of the sword's cut, but the bleeding had slowed to little. It seemed much worse than the truth. Jane exhaled heavily as she calmed, knowing he would not die of this. She felt a gentle hand caress her cheek and jaw, and looked to see John, hand extended to her, and he smiled.

"You should not have risked it," John admonished.

"You are mine, and I will not let you just go off and get yourself killed," Jane answered, her tone almost light.

"I should say the same of you."

John's voice was slightly feeble, but you could hear the love in the tone of the jibes they traded.

Jane took the mug she had collected on their ascent, and brought it over him. He reached for the drink, in mind to have it for himself.

"I could use a mug about now," John said, but Jane did not tilt it for his drink, rather poured it over the length of the wound. He felt a decided burning, and hissed to the pain.

"Why?" his clenched mouth allowed.

"There are properties within the drink, the same ones which make the mind unclear, which will keep this clean, and help it heal," Jane explained.

"It hurts."

"I know, but I will take no chance with you."

There was a measure of fear in that statement. Jane had seen a simple cut turn deadly, and she would not risk it for her husband. She would tend him fully.

"Now stay, for I must get the salve."

He saw by her look that obeying Jane was wise at this time. 

Jane quickly returned with a small pot. Within it contained rendered fat mixed with a number of vulnerary herbs to aid in the healing, and a high level of sage, because, [i]why of seknesse deyeth man, whill sawge in gardeyn he may han.[/i]

"What is that?" a curious, yet cautious John asked of Jane.

"It will help you heal, and will seal out that which would take you ill."

She began to spread this concoction over the length of the slice, sealing it against the outside world. John's nose curled up.

"The smell is not pleasant," he relayed.

"I care not if you stink of un-shoveled stables on a summer day. You will not have this turn serious - I will not chance you."

The touch of her hand as she smeared this upon him made him feel loved, and worried for. He relaxed, and let her touch of care ease his mind and body. John sighed, knowing he was in his wife's capable hands. It didn't take long for that calm to produce a desire, and Jane could see he was becoming quite aroused in his naked state upon the bed. Now done with her work, Jane put the jar of salve away, and cleaned her hands of it. John sat to watch her, unable to contain his growing desire.

"Jane?" a seductive voice whispered within the chamber.

Jane smiled, her back still turned to him. She felt a hard thump in her chest. She could have lost him this day. Jane fought back tears of relief. She dropped her dress to the floor and turned back, walking slowly to him. He sat upon the bed, knees slightly apart, upper body held straight. She moved between his knees, and placed her hands on each of John's shoulders. His hands came up to her waist, and he kissed her around the navel, drawing her even closer to him. The layer of heat around each of them now touched, and John stretched his neck so he could taste the milky flesh of her breasts. The closer he got, the more prominent each pink nipple became, luring him to suckle.

She crawled upon him, pushing his back against the bed. She kissed each side of his neck, each shoulder. She spread herself apart and settled him within her. She arched away and then back to him, lifting and pulled up and down. He took her hips into his expansive hands so he could feel every move she made. His head slid back as the pleasure took him. She clamped tight, anticipated the feel of him filling her, but it did not happen as she expected. John pulled her off him, and held her over him. He sat, lifting her further, and then stood. He placed her to the bed and came down upon her, thrusting his member into the warmth of her depths. 

Jane had reached the heights of passion thrice, and still John had not filled her. She wanted nothing more than to feel the intense release of his seed, to let the heat of him leave her warm and wet, to feel the whole of it course to the center of her. The salve was now a thin sheen upon both their chests as they writhed in unison. Jane squeezed and touched every inch from John's shoulders to his firm behind. She ran the lines of his muscles. Her legs were wrapped high and tight around him. She was taking in quick breaths as each thrust made her lift her hips. 

"Oh…oh…oh," was all Jane could manage.

John's low growl reverberated against Jane's skin, and she thought she could combust. And then, as the muscles again clamped around John, she could feel the strong, hot release in her depths. She opened her mouth to scream her pleasure, but John's mouth quickly covered hers. Little did she know he was stifling a roar that would have alerted the whole castle to their activities. Never had he felt this kind of release. He felt a sense of purpose in this. And Jane felt something different too. It had to be because of the fear and adrenaline caused by seeing John fall on the field. What else would account for the increased intensity, and John's ability to take her to the top so many times? They remained joined, tightly wrapped, and they slept in that embrace, keeping all of his seed sealed within her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**They woke with their connection intact. John made a move to withdraw, but Jane held steadfast, her legs still entwined around his backside.**

**"Jane, you must let go."**

**"Why?"**

**"Because I must pee."**

**"Yeah, OK, good reason."**

**She unwrapped him and sighed as she felt him leave her. Even without being aroused John was a big enough man to cause a sensation for Jane. She contentedly savored the feeling of the bed and how calm she seemed this morning. It was not until John returned, and the scar along his chest stared her in the face, that Jane remembered the overwhelming fear that had taken her yesterday. She carefully traced the line of the sword's path, and then looked into his eyes. Her bottom lip quivered as she held back her tears, and John caressed her lips with a gentle finger, then kissed them reassuringly.**

**"I am fine," he whispered against her neck.**

**"I should put more salve on you."**

**"Jane."**

**"Don’t fight me on this."**

**Jane had the serious face on again, and John nodded his approval.**

**~~~~~**

**Jane forced John to take the day slow, let his body heal, and he did his best to comply. Jane wanted to keep an eye on him the whole of the day, but events conspired. John was compelled to the meeting among the fighters, to discuss the reward for the red-haired fighter who had saved John upon the field. None really knew this fighter, who seemed to mythically appear when another sword was in need. It placed John in an odd place - knowing the secret, yet feeling bound to keep it so as not to lose the life he loved. He remained quiet as long as possible, not wanting to slip up in his words.**

**"John, what think you?" the Maclaren chief broached.**

**"The fighter expressed no want of reward beyond my thanks."**

**"But surely we should do more. A virtuous fighter would not request reward. If I had daughter left to marry off, I would offer her hand."**

**"It is not necessary."**

**'Would you have us ignore the brave deeds, make it seem we care not?"**

**"No, but perhaps too much attention would only serve to make this fighter cringe and withdraw. We spoke as I was carried to my chamber - this one is shy to take credit. I do not wish to force upon one what one does not seek."**

**Many were fearful of John's forceful and contradictory statements to the chief. Was it wise to so clearly affront their leader? A rumble of voices grew.**

**"Quiet," the chieftain boomed, "the boy speaks his mind. It is no offense. Who among you have spoken to this fighter? Can you say John is wrong in his words?"**

**The fervor disappeared. All heard sense in these words.**

**"John, go, speak to this fighter - named?"**

**"Redding," John blurted.**

**"Go speak to this Redding. You have spoken, and know his character. If you believe he is truly wanting nothing, the matter is done."**

**~~~~~**

**While this meeting occurred, Jane decided to talk to her mother, and joined the sewing circle for a time. She heard all the gossip, listened to the remarkably bawdy stories. Jane was not comfortable in the presence of women. She had been a loner, and then among the men as one. And her skill for sewing or spinning or weaving all lacked. She tried to fit in here, but it was not in her. She cared not to share intimate details of her encounters with John, fearing they would be seen as odd or unconventional. She did not want to answer the inevitable questions of when she would be with child. If not for the pleasure of John, Jane would have wished to be a man. Jane returned to her chamber to await John's return, now feeling as if he was the only one with whom she did fit in.**

**They had been back in the castle four days now. Jane began to think. It had been 5 days to John's home castle, another 5 back, and 7 spent there among the ruins. That made 21 days. Jane had been a number of days beyond her moon before they left, and she had made John bring them home so she did not have to face her time while traveling. It had not come yet. Perhaps the travelling, the stress, add the worry of John getting wounded - there were reasons other than the obvious.**

**Jane knew all too well that stressful times could disrupt the moon cycle. The moon of her first marriage, having lost both brother and husband, Jane found herself in the same situation. Back then she was naïve enough to think that this union alone was enough to make her with child. She was not pleased with this thought. She did not want to have a child alone, nor did she feel herself capable of raising one when all she had in her heart was hatred. The return of the bleeding was a prayer answered then, but what about now? Jane would wait. She was sure the bleeding would return.**

**Jane felt sour. She was clearly in a mood by the time John returned to their chamber. He tried to tell her of her father's wish to reward the fighter who saved him, and how under pressure he had named her alter ego. But her mind was elsewhere. Jane was aloof. John figured her time was upon them, and he acted accordingly.**

**When they were abed, John attempted to hold his wife. He placed a large hand upon Jane's stomach - a move that had soothed Jane before, the warmth of his hand serving to ease any symptoms. Tonight, she rolled to her stomach, away from his hand, away from him. She knew he believed it was her time, and she feared she would succumb to his touch. She did not wish him to believe otherwise right now. John also rolled to his stomach, placing his hand to the small of her back instead.**

**~~~~~**

**For four days she played at this, keeping John at arms length. Her behavior was a bit extreme this moon, John thought. When he returned to their chamber to find Jane within her bath cauldron, his smile grew, and his desire overtook him. He joined her, and she gladly took him into her. Slow and gentle; John again being able to overwhelm Jane's senses multiple times before succumbing himself. She felt guilty for not sharing her feelings in totality, but Jane feared getting hopes up. John would be so crushed.**

**John knew something weighed on her mind. She was quiet. Jane did not eat heartily. He thought that perhaps the fear of losing him, or the rush of fighting again had changed her somehow.**

**"Jane?"**

**"Hmm?"**

**"Are you sorry we wed?"**

**"What?"**

**"Do you wish you had continued the fighting, and not found the love?"**

**"John, No. I love you with all my being."**

**"You have not been happy."**

**"If I have given you that thought, I am sorry. There is much on my mind, that's all."**

**"If you have a burden of thoughts, tell me so I may share that burden," John implored.**

**"I…I was thinking about your mother's story," Jane said, in partial truth.**

**"Do you want to read the next?" he asked.**

**"Would you like that?"**

**He said nothing more, but went to the chest and brought forth the item. He settled on the bed, and waited while Jane crawled in front of him. He made sure she was comfortable, and waited for her voice to resonate with his mother's thoughts.**

**"…John is 6 moons, and strong. On the morrow, Hamish and I, along with a party of nearly 50 set forth. He tells me the building goes well, and by the time we reach it, the outer walls of Greystoke will be secure. It is to be a massive castle. Hamish says it is to keep us safe. He fears the wrath of the Danes for taking me as wife. I hope it us unfounded.**

**The journey was long, but the castle sits as a fortress. All is done save the stores. I have already found the hiding place for my sewing squares. I have found a cask of small size whose absence will not be missed. Once within the wall of the stores, it will all but disappear. Even Hamish will not be privy to these thoughts, but I do hope to share the story of his birth and life with John when he be old enough, and perhaps have them presented as a gift to the woman he takes as wife."**

**Jane paused at those words, feeling a smile from John behind her.**

**"It was meant for us to share these," John hummed against her neck.**

**"It would seem so."**

**"…It is planting time - the earth is just awakening with all life and colour. The terrain is rock laden, but it has proven to be more a help than hindrance. With so much rock at hand, the walls were built with amazing speed, and look as if they have always been there - like the castle just grew this season along with the crops in the field.**

**I look forward to increased warmth as the solstice comes. It will be our first celebration within these walls. It is hard to believe it was at this solstice last I first met Hamish."**

**Jane got choked up and began to sob. She didn't know what was causing this, but she could not make it stop. John took the diary from in front of Jane and wrapped around her as she continued to uncontrollably cry. He did not understand, but he knew she needed comforting. He gently rocked her as he held her, and she soon heard a sweet melody softly entering her ears. She fought to control her emotions, concentrating on what she was hearing. Jane soon quieted and began wiping her eyes and snuffing. When John's song came to an end, they lay there in silence, both a bit confused.**

**"What was that song?" Jane whispered.**

**"My mother sang it to me. I remember she would sing it to me when I was crying, and it would make me feel better."**

**"You have a beautiful voice."**

**"Jane? What brought this about? Please, share what has you so upset."**

**"I don't know. Your mother was so happy. She looked forward to life with Hamish. What if we have but a limited time together? What if I am to lose you, or you to lose me?"**

**"Jane, we cannot know what is to come, but I would not trade a moment since I found you. Do not let these thoughts weigh on you."**

**It was nearly time to sup. Jane had washed her face of her tears, and John waited for her so they could go to the grand hall. Jane seemed in high spirits again. John was willing to put her tears behind them and take at face value the reason for it. He was just glad she looked happy again.**

**~~~~~**

**As the weeks went on, Jane noticed changes in herself. Her normally iron-clad stomach now often swirled and threatened to empty itself. She managed to keep her food, but even the smallest smell would set off waves of nausea. There were times when even John's personal smell would turn Jane's stomach. Still Jane was not convinced, or unwilling to accept what she knew to be true.**

**A message came from the Stewarts - Malcolm personally asked John to help his clan. Word of John's hunting prowess had reached them. John had not been allowed to travel with the hunting parties while he lived among the Stewarts. They still saw him as too wild to trust in such things. Now that he had proven to be adapted to civilized living, asking for his help was permitted. Game had been scarce this year, and the hunters among the Stewart clan, while capable, were not providing enough for the table. If they were to go into the cold weather with so little, many would surely starve.**

**The Maclaren chief read this message with great concern. He could not allow an ally to have such misfortune befall them. But would it be fair to ask Jane to be without her husband? He came to the chamber of John and Jane after the sup. Both were surprised by his presence.**

**"Father?"**

**"Chief?"**

**"May I make a request of you, the both of you?"**

**Both nodded and bade him entry.**

**"Word has come from the Stewart clan. Direct word for you, John. Malcolm has asked that you teach them your hunting skills. There is fear of starvation should their hunting not become more abundant. I know this is much to ask, and Jane, I know that asking you to not have John about will be difficult for you, but I ask none the less."**

**John and Jane glanced at each other, both minds full of question.**

**"I can see you must talk," Jane's father started, "On the morrow I will have your answer."**

**He took his leave of their chamber. For long moments, all was silent. Jane sat upon the bed, looking to John every few moments until their eyes caught each other.**

**"You do not wish me to leave," John stated, no question implied.**

**"I fear losing you."**

**John came to kneel in front of Jane, and his hands wrapped around her arms just above the elbow. He buried his head in her lap, the warmth of his breath radiating throughout the area. Jane had to suppress a moan. Her fingers slipped into his golden hair and laced behind his head. He looked up to see Jane's head tilted back and her mouth wide open.**

**"I will return," he whispered, "I wish to help my former clan. This clan is rich, but my friend needs my help to keep the life of his clan."**

**Jane had looked down into his eyes as he spoke. She nodded slowly and kissed him on the lips.**

**"If I am to be without you for an unknown time, I ask just one thing…"**

**Her look and tone did not require her to continue. John engulfed Jane's mouth in a lingering kiss. She pushed her way up the bed and lay back. John pushed his way up Jane, taking her sleep gown up with him. He kissed a trail from navel to neck, and removed the gown over her head. He looked down on her. Jane was every bit as desirous as she had been on their wedding night, however, far more skilled and prepared to show John the extent of that passion. Her hands began to wander on him. He wanted her to touch him everywhere. The memory of each touch would keep him going, just knowing she had been there.**

**He rolled off her and pulled her atop him. Her hands and mouth wandered him fully. After she finished touching his front, save one area, she rolled him to his stomach and again traced his form. While straddled over his waist, Jane smoothed her hands over his shoulders and out each arm. She kissed his shoulder blades and ran her hair over his back. She grabbed him at the waist and pushed herself up enough to move down his body further. After she massaged his thighs, she slipped her hands around the curves of his rear end. She felt him clench as her fingers moved beneath him. She stopped just short of taking him within her hands.**

**When he moaned, Jane got off him, and off the bed. He rolled over to see what Jane was up to. She crawled back onto the other side of the bed. She had a truly animalistic look in her eyes. John's eyes suddenly mirrored her look. He moved behind her and felt her pulse quicken. He sniffed her deeply. Her scent was even more enticing than usual. He could hold back no longer. The animal inside of Jane had brought the animal inside John to the surface. They both moaned as they joined. He held deep inside her until he felt the first squeeze from her. With controlled movements, John slowly moved within her. With each excited inhale, each moan and sigh, John moved faster. As he climaxed, he leaned back and pulled Jane tight against him. She arched and then slumped in the bed in front of him. John came down, arms still wrapped around her waist as they fell into a spooning position.**

**The heaving breathing of the pair precluded language. But as they came down from the floating feeling, Jane had something she had to say.**

**"I will miss this while you are gone, but as long as I know you will return to me, I can live with you being away. Your friend, and his whole clan, needs your unique skills."**

**John kissed Jane gently on the cheek as a thank-you for not making him ask outright if she would let him go. He did not need to ask her, but he very much wanted her approval. He took that statement as just that.**

**~~~~~**

**John took the dappled gray pony and set off for the Stewart castle. Jane had helped him pack what he would need, and sent him off with a sweet kiss. She stood waving goodbye, her father by her side. He could see the sadness in his daughter's eyes, and put a reassuring arm around her shoulders.**

**"He will be fine, my daughter. You married a survivor. He shall return."**

**Jane smiled at him, and he saw the light in her eyes for the way he spoke of John. Jane took her leave and returned to her chamber.**

**Jane spent much time alone. In a way, she was relieved. As the phases of the moon changed, and still Jane's moon cycle had not come, she was glad she did not have to pretend for John. She still could not fully believe she was with child, but all the signs were staring her in the face. She was just too afraid to admit it. One day drifted into the next without John.**

**Meanwhile, John was living a free, nearly wild existence in the woods around the Stewart castle. He was showing the men how to move stealth-fully, how to mask their scents from their prey. He was impressing them all with his ability to take down large game bare handed. Malcolm was most proud of his friend. John could now turn on the wildness when he needed it, and turn it off when the hunt was over. His hair had gotten quite long, and he had not bathed since leaving Jane's bed. His clothes were in shreds, but he did not care. It did not bother him to be wearing just a kilt, in fact he often removed all clothing while hunting. The others soon joined him in that because he had hunted so well in the nude. They had taken enough since John joined them for drying and preserving meat for the winter, and those who had gone long without a full belly had been able to share in the bounty. Thanks to John, when the harvest came, they would be well fed enough to do the work.**

**This night, John lay on the ground beneath a sky full of stars and a full moon lit the ground like day. He realized he had seen three full moons light the night sky while he slept in the open. He realized Jane would be very worried if he stayed any longer.**

**"Malcolm?"**

**"Yes, John?"**

**"I must go home."**

**"You miss Jane?"**

**"I miss Jane," he agreed.**

**"You have done much for us in this time. We will use what you have taught us. At first light, we shall go to the castle. You can gather your pony, and speed yourself to Jane's waiting arms."**

**~~~~~**

**Jane was starting to fear something had happened to John. She did her best to keep busy. The queasiness no longer plagued her, in fact she had energy to burn now. Jane had studied the needlework from John's mother, and had begun to practice her own sewing skills. She had managed to stitch the family coat of arms. It was a bit rough, but to Jane it was a triumph.**

**Jane had helped when her sister, Lorna, had her second child. She helped support her when she was in labor. It was the first time she had taken an interest in being there for a birth. It terrified her. Jane was more adamant than ever in her own mind that she could not be with child for she would never be able to handle this ordeal. All Jane's muscles ached. She had held Lorna from collapse as her child finally willed itself into the world. Her mild ache was nothing compared to the wailing pain her sister had endured, but Jane needed a bath.**

**~~~~~**

**Back in her chamber, Jane had filled her cauldron with water, enough of which was heated to make it warm and muscle soothing. Jane drowsed within her water. She awoke to the feeling of water drops being slowly dripped on the top of her head. She sucked in a quick breath, and covered herself with her arms as she sank to her neck in the water. John's broad smile looked down at Jane. She hardly recognized him. He was dark of skin, and his hair was well past his shoulders.**

**"You scared me!"**

**"I missed you too," he answered.**

**"You're filthy."**

**"Then I will join you and bathe myself clean."**

**He crawled over the edge of the caldron and sank below the water. When he surfaced, Jane scrubbed the grime from him. Even without the dirt, John's skin was deeply bronzed. As his hair got clean, it was streaked with more light gold highlights. The touch of his skin lit a fire in Jane. Her sexual urges had been waking Jane from sound sleeps. John became the happy recipient of all that passion. Twice in the cauldron and three more times after they got to the bed they took each other.**

**John noted this increased passion from Jane. Yes, it had been three months, but it was more than that. He thought her breasts seemed to more fully fill his hands beneath his ardent touch, and that part of her stomach that used to be concave now rounded slightly. Also, she smelled of Jane, but not quite the same. Perhaps the absence just had caused him to be more aware of everything about Jane. He savored reacquainting himself with all of her.**

**~~~~~**

**"…John is one year. He is quite active. He looks every bit the wee Viking. His blond locks now cascade over his shoulders, and he favors my brother Jens. If there is one member of my family I miss, it is that brother. He understood my desire to break with the family. He knew the power love could have to make one take risk. I am sure that is why he helped me make my way to Hamish on the night I left.**

**The harvest was plentiful, and the stores are full. It is among my duties to portion out what each member of the house needs. Hamish often admonishes, saying - Freya, do not be so tight fisted - but I mete fair portions. So far it has been a mild winter so fresh meat has been part of our daily meals, and we should make it though the cold time with much to spare. Thank the gods that we have dried meat in plenty, for it is the only way I have been able to soothe John as his first teeth sprout within his mouth. Many tears have fallen, some mine, as his crying continued. Finding a way to quiet him has saved us both."**

**"Jane?"**

**"MMmmm," she moaned in answer.**

**"Is there more?"**

**"Not on this page. Ooh, John."**

**John smiled. He and Jane were intimately entangled as they read this time. And John was teasing her body with slight movements.**

**"We can either, oh, read the next one, ooh, ahh, or [i]gasp[/i]…"**

**"I choose the last one."**

**John nibbled on Jane's earlobe. He thought he would overwhelm her with his subtle overtures, but Jane and her hormones had other plans. Jane laid him out, and her hand went straight to his groin. For all the wildness and all the times they had explored one another, Jane had never directly touched him there. John's eyes went wide and he gasped at her touch. Jane was not in a playing mood. The moment he hardened to her touch, she crawled fully atop him and took him inside. There was definitely something different about Jane since he had come back from hunting with the Stewarts. John was not complaining.**

**~~~~~**

**A full moon cycle passed, and Jane had wanted to spend every free moment with John deep inside her. She made no attempt to hide the lack of her time, nor did she mention it, or offer an explanation. Jane was rounding out, and John had never seen her breasts so inviting. Several nights, after Jane had fallen asleep, John would lovingly place his hands on her abdomen. If not the changes in her body, the slightly altered scent that entered his nostrils would have told him what Jane had yet to. He would wait. There would be a moment where she would have to admit she was with child. Even if it was as that child came into the world, John would wait for her to be ready to say it. The hard part was containing his joy.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

A small skirmish played out just beyond the walls of Maclaren castle. If it had stayed just that, neither of them would have gotten involved, but harvest was nearing, and this fight threatened the crops of the field. Again, the call went out for all fighters so as to quell this before it could further escalate. John and Jane both heard the call. John jumped from their bed. As he exited through the window, he looked back to see Jane donning her gear. For a moment, fear flashed over him, but he could see there was no way her breeks would fit any longer. She would not make it to this battle. Perhaps now the moment of truth was upon Jane.

The battle went fast. Once the full force of Maclaren fighters showed their selves, The battle ended without serious engagement. It was less that an hour before John returned to the window of his chamber. Jane nervously paced and pulled on her fingers. She was awash in her own thoughts, and was startled by John's touch on her shoulder. She looked up into his face. A jumble of emotions were ensconced within her eyes.

"I thought you were to join the fight."

"I meant to."

"What kept you?"

"The breeks - they did not fit. I cannot fight without them."

"Why is it they do not fit?"

He was hoping to draw the words out of her.

"They no longer go around me - I…I…"

Jane moved toward the bed, John closely following.

"Jane, just say the words," his hand smoothing across her belly.

She looked again into his eyes. 

"How is it you can know what I have been yet unable to let my own mind believe?"

He smiled. "Tell me."

Jane took a deep breath, and blew it out as a cleansing stream from her mouth.

"I…am with child, your child."

He pressed his head to her stomach and wrapped his arms around her just below the tops of her legs. He looked up, beaming. Jane's face broke into a wide smile, and tears of joy escaped her eyes.

"Why did you not just say so the moment you thought it could be true?"

"I feared I was wrong. I did not wish to get your hopes up only for me to be wrong, and while you were gone, it was easy to delude myself. And when I saw my sister give birth to Rowen, I feared I could never bring a child into this world. As much as I want to bear your children, the pain of it…I do not know if I can do this."

John stood and lifted Jane's chin in his hand. 

"You will be a wonderful mother to our children. You feared the pain you were foretold would accompany our joining the first time. It did not come to pass, but you braved the possibility because of our love. I have no doubt that you will be able to bring this child into the world, and give it all the love in your heart, as will I."

She melted against him. 

For the remainder of the afternoon, John and Jane lay upon the bed, both devoid of clothing. John would gently kiss Jane's stomach, his hand outstretched around the growing curve, and then he would deftly shift to kiss her lips and rub his face on hers. When John would talk to their baby, Jane would giggle at the tickling vibration of his lips against her. 

"…And when you come out of there, you will meet us face to face…"

"John, that tickles," she struggled to get out.

"I want our child to know all about us before it enters this world."

John again kissed her stomach, and Jane ran her fingers through John's hair. After months of fretting and fear, Jane felt unbelievably calm now. Even she did not know how this change had come over her. Jane's content smile covered her face, and when John looked again into her face, his smile lit his face. He slid up to be fully beside his mate, and slipped his arms around her expanding waist. He sighed deeply as his chin settled on Jane's shoulder and his cheek rested against hers. 

"We should tell you parents. They will be pleased, and I'm sure happy for us."

"Many wondered about our union. I am glad this time passed before this child was made. I had much life to catch up on, to share with you. It will all change now."

"But you are happy?"

"Yes. I wouldn't change a thing."

~~~~~

When the couple went to sup, instead of taking their seats, Jane stood before her father, John supportively holding her from behind. Her mother was to the left hand of the chieftain, and soon both noticed the lingering shadow.

"Yes, my daughter?"

Jane tried repeatedly to say the words, but every time she opened her mouth she could not speak. She looked over her shoulder to John's wondering eyes. He could see her feelings, and he could not let her suffer so.

"We have news," John began.

They had the attention of both now.

"Jane and I…we have created a child."

His face beamed, and his cheeks flushed pink just saying it out loud. Jane squeezed one of his hands and bit her bottom lip between her teeth while she waited for the reaction.

Her father rose from his seat. He hugged John, and then carefully wrapped his arms around his daughter in a gentle embrace. He kissed her forehead and smiled at her.

"I knew you two were meant for a fruitful union."

By this time Jane's mother had come around the table and pushed her way thought the men folk to reach her eldest. She was crying and smiling, and causing a general commotion. Soon, attention was turned to them because of this, and word spread quickly throughout the great hall. Many marveled, figuring it was something they would never hear, but others nodded. It was a joyous meal. All knew of Jane's difficult life, and all had heard John's story. Together they had found a way to overcome what life threw at them, and it made the clan proud. Both possessed a strength that would mean their offspring would have much to offer in the years to come.

~~~~~

When the commotion died down, Jane and her family seated themselves around their table. There were many questions.

"Jane? How far along are you?" her mother asked.

"Four or five moons."

"And you just now tell us?"

"I was not sure at first, and then I could not believe it. I thought it was something that had passed me by."

"And how is it that you could not see the changes in her body?" the mother charged John to answer.

"I was not here, but when I returned, I noted the changes, but I waited 'til Jane was prepared to tell me. It was difficult to hide my joy."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," the mother admonished as she shook her head. 

"Mother."

"Jane, dear, I truly don't understand you. How could you keep John waiting so long?"

Jane merely turned to gaze lovingly at John, and they kissed.

"It does not matter now," John answered in Jane's stead.

Jane's parents now turned to look to each other. They beamed with pride, and you could see the same spark of life between them. In their hearts, they were still young lovers. These parents of Jane's were not beyond the age of enjoying each other. She slipped her hand onto his upper thigh, and soon thereafter, the chief and his wife made themselves scarce. John and Jane took this cue and applied it to themselves. 

~~~~~

Now back in their bed, they again assumed the position where John was talking to Jane's stomach. He was so gentle, but his touch had Jane aroused. She took one of his hands from her abdomen and placed it on one of her newly plump breasts. He saw the fire in her eyes. He knew what she wanted, and he was not going to disappoint her. He gently explored her body. She tingled from head to toe from his touch. There would only be so many times to engage each other this way before there would be someone else to consider. Once the baby came, it would occupy much time. John brought Jane to the heights of passion. Together, they tripped over the edge. Joy swept them. 

Sleep was sweet this night. All had their wishes granted. 

~~~~~

The next four months went by so fast. Jane grew bigger by the day, and John loved her all the more. Jane wanted to have all Freya's journal pages read before the child issued forth, so they read every morning and several evenings. They wanted to know if there were clues to the attack in her words, anything that would tell them who had done this and why…

"…John continues to grow like a weed. He now walks with ease and grace, and has begun to show an interest in swordplay. He swings about Hamish's dagger like he was clashing in battle. It is such the sight! I had hoped to have expanded the family by now, but the gods had other thoughts. It may come to pass that John will be an only child. His delivery was not the easiest, but I healed well, and assumed nothing of it. Thinking now, I wonder if something transpired that I was kept ignorant of. I had wanted a big family, but my life is quite complete with Hamish and John, and should they prove to be the extent of the family I have, I will not lack."

"Oh, John, your mother…she was so wise."

"I think she is much like you," John answered.

"How so?"

"She is strong, smart, skilled - and she had the love of husband and child."

Jane rolled her head and gave John a light kiss.

"Next page?"

"Yes."

John and Jane learned many things from Freya's writings. John now knew the names of his parents, something of his mother's family, and bits and pieces of his own childhood. Still, there had been no clues as to their outcome. They did not know how old John was when he was left in the stores for his own protection, nor did they know much beyond that it was a Viking attack that had left the castle so ruined. 

Jane was only weeks or days from the time her child with John would come. Her overwhelming passions had ebbed, but she and John still had a desire between them. Despite Jane's roundness, they found their ways. Pregnancy had agreed with her quite well after the queasy stomach in the early moons. Jane glowed with the vibrancy of life. Together she and John had felt the strengthening movements of the babe within. At times Jane believed the little one was tumbling in there, and landing hard, always on her bladder. Jane had often need of the chamber pot now. 

A soothing bath was now out of the question. Even John could not manage to get her back out of her bathing cauldron. Her weight he could manage, but it was as if the top of the cauldron just closed in around her. As an apology for not being able to soak, John would lave her body with a warm wet towel. He would lay a large towel on half the bed, help her roll onto it, and he would proceed to caress her with the wet warmth. He would also be nude at the time. The feel of his skin against her was as important as the warm water. 

They were determined to finish the diary Freya had left, and soon, the last two pages were all that were left. With her time due quite soon, the couple settled together after he had laved her, and they had taken one last round of passion. Despite warnings from some to cease joining so close to the birth, they just could not fight it. Now relaxed, they settled in to finish the story Freya had left for her son.

"…A messenger arrived today from Hamish's father's castle. A traveling party in the area contains both my brothers, Jens and Rikard, and my former betrothed, Ragnar. They seek to find me. While I would gladly invite Jens, the others are another matter. I trust not my brother Rikard. He arranged the union with Ragnar, and was greatly lowered in standing when I took another way. It looks as though I will have to not only face them, but I will have to do so within my own home. They are headed this way.

John is now a fiery 5 year old. He can almost handle a sword on his own, and has shown a great skill for hunting. However, he cannot seem to go from hunter to killer. He is just too sweet. Killing is not in him. He comes with me to the stores each day. I have taught him to help me in taking the portions to the cooks for each day. 

I have taught him several songs in my native tongue, and his voice just brings tears to my eyes. He is my angel."

"…On the morrow arrive Jens, Rikard and Ragnar. I do not look on it with joy. The stores are nearly full, and I pray we do not have to offer up too much to appease Rikard and Ragnar. We need all we have in the cold season to come…

They arrived in time to sup with us this night. Jens gave me a friendly hug, but I maintained a fair distance from the others. Ragnar is still an oaf. Rikard still has not forgiven me for marrying Hamish, and that made for a great deal of tension around the table…

I got the impression Jens wished to speak to me alone, and we did find a time while the meal was prepared. He warned me that something seemed off in Rikard's behavior since he again had been spending time with Ragnar. It made him uneasy, and he thought it fair to warn me…

I had to deflect a drunken advance by Ragnar. He still thinks of me as his. My life means nothing to him as it is. I did not let Hamish know for I did not wish to fan the flames. The tensions were high enough…

It is too horrible for words! Jens took ill and died. It was too sudden to be natural. I fear poisoning, and it was meant to send a message. I hope the others will leave soon, but I fear they are here to finish this…"

That was where it came to an end. The final entry. Jane turned the last page over to flatten it, feeling quite saddened is was all over. As she did so, she noticed a small flap of fabric attached to the back with a few wide stitches. 

"Wait, John, there is a small piece here. It looks very roughly done, like it was rushed."

'What does it say/"

"…Jens death was just the start. They have opened the gates from within and allowed a large party of Danes entry. I must hide John."

"John, she was betrayed by her brother and Ragnar. They opened the castle."

Jane was tearful and shocked. John was no less shocked or hurt. They nestled tightly together, and once Jane's head was held to his chest, tears flowed from his eyes. He placed his hands protectively over her abdomen. His mother had risked all for him, and he was bound he would do the same for his child.

~~~~~

It was a good thing John could not know what happened after that final word stitched by his mother, for it would have eaten him up to no end. She had taken John and her final words to the stores and secreted them there. She slipped unnoticed from the place and fought her way back to her husband's side, assuring him their son was safe. They were quickly overwhelmed by the forces Rikard and Ragnar had brought. All others had been killed, but Freya and Hamish were held for torture first. 

Rikard held Hamish down and forced him to watch and listen as Ragnar took his promised woman. Freya tried her best to refrain from making sound even as Ragnar tore into her with his oversized and clumsy member. Ragnar took great pleasure in seeing how much blood he could draw from her in that way. She was stripped of her clothes and her dignity, and lay bleeding at her husband's feet, unable to move, and he was not allowed to offer her comfort either. She was numbed. Now was her turn to watch as Hamish was slowly dissected by Rikard's sword. A mad search continued for the stores and the boy, but none were successful. He asked Hamish to reveal the location of both, but he was not going to tell either. 

Rikard took limb after limb from his sister's husband and again would ask his questions. It was clear they were not going to give up the knowledge. So, as a final cruelty, Rikard held Hamish's eyes open while Ragnar picked up the nearly lifeless, and emotionally numb Freya and again plunged himself into her until he could bring a scream from her. It was the last sound Hamish would hear. As her scream cut the night, John's evil uncle Rikard plunged his sword into the heart of the man who had taken away his standing by taking his sister from the marriage he had arranged, and running off with this Scot. 

Freya was left alive. Ragnar planned to take her along on the journey and have his way with her as long as she still lived. She was his, after all. While Freya was left on the floor of her chamber, she spied the dagger John had played sword with. It had slipped beneath the bed. She was in a sorry state, but Freya knew what was to come if she were taken by Ragnar. He would repeatedly invade her body and further tear her apart. She would be barely fed if at all. That was no life. Freya took the dagger, and with all the strength remaining in her battered body, she plunged that dagger into her own heart. She would rather join Hamish in death now than linger as a sex slave.

~~~~~

John and Jane were both greatly subdued by the ending of Freya's journal. They clung to each other the whole night through, and well beyond the dawning of the new day. Jane felt the need of the chamber pot and extricated herself from John's arms. She made it just a few steps when she was gripped by a pain, and found herself ankle deep in her own fluids. It was far more than just the pee she was expecting. John heard the splash hit the floor, and sprang from the bed. He carefully approached his love.

"Jane?"

"John, I think it is time for the baby."

"I will help you."

Jane grabbed her sides and clenched her face as she felt another wave of pain. John didn't care that he stepped in Jane's internal fluids, he just scooped Jane up in his arms and made way to the room in which the birth would take place. It was the same room where those sent away on their moons went. Jane's loud moan as they entered awoke those in the chamber, and all set to work. Jane's parents were awakened and told the birth process had begun. Two of the women most experienced in aiding in child delivery were on hand in no time, and they set out what they would need. Fires were stoked to heat water. In one of these boiling pots was placed a strong dagger to cut the cord. Clean towels and material wraps were readied for the child.

All the women tried to send John from the chamber, but he would not be taken from his wife and child at this time. He wanted to witness this miracle for himself. The midwives allowed him to stay as long as he stayed out of the way. John watched from a distance as Jane was stripped naked and gently cleaned of the first burst of fluid from out her womb. An assessment was made as to how close the birth would be - it would be some time yet!

Jane winced in pain, and two women held her up by her armpits. There was a railing affixed to the wall, and Jane grabbed it for support, which was its purpose. Jane stood and then squatted, all still hanging to the railing. John longed to soothe her, just touch her as she endured this pain for them. It was his fault she was writhing in an unpleasant way. He wished he could face the pain for her, for their child. 

The pains came closer together as the hours passed, and Jane was exhausted. 

"I can't do this any longer," Jane wailed.

John could hear low murmurings from those attending her, and saw as she nodded to them. She was relying heavily upon the support of these women or else she would collapse all together. They lay her down for the midwives to again see how things were progressing, and saw them nod in agreement. 

"You must push now," they told Jane, raising her back into the squat.

John's eyebrows went up - something was happening.

Jane was wracked with pain and covered in sweat. Her legs felt like gelatin, and the hard part was just starting. With each pain, Jane pushed hard, but it felt like it would never end. She had her hands wrapped around the support railing, and John could see the sinews straining as Jane did all she could to keep from collapsing. 

Those supporting Jane were tiring too, and Jane almost slipped to the floor. That was when John stepped in. Despite the protests of those assembled, John came behind his Jane and squatted, holding her. She leaned fully against him, knowing the feel of him, and knowing she needed him to be able to do this. While he held her up, he massaged his hands across her belly, he gathered her soaked hair away from her neck. He bade to be brought a soft cloth warmed by the heated water within the fireplace. With that he wiped her neck and face, and brought the cloth to rest on her chest. Between that and the warmth of his body from behind, Jane felt warmed. The chamber had been cold to Jane, and John had brought her the warmth she longed to feel.

With each pain, Jane pushed and yelled; John sank his head between her shoulder blades, feeling her pain, and wanting to take it away. 

His strength was super human. He did not waver or seem to tire in his support of Jane. He would see her through this.

"Ohh, John, it's coming," Jane panted.

He hooked his arms under Jane's and held on tight. He peeked over her shoulder, and saw the midwife peering back at him like it was none of his business what was going on down there. John simply gave her a fearsome gaze, and she looked back to her work. Jane pushed again.

"The head is out," the midwife stated.

"You are doing well," John whispered to Jane, kissing her temple.

"John, I am spent. I can't…"

"Yes you can, and you will. Take all my strength as your own. Our child needs you to bring it into the world. I would do this if I could, but only you have this power."

A harrumphed laugh came from several of the ladies at his claim he would bear the child if he could, and he thought her heard "yeah, right" from one of them. John chose to ignore it, because Jane needed him.

The midwife carefully helped the child's shoulders slip through on the next push. With one more push, the child slipped all the way out. John watched with awe as he saw the small body come out of Jane. He looked expectantly at the midwife, questioning without a word.

"It is a boy," he got answered.

"Did you hear that Jane, we have a son," he whispered to her

"John," she murmured, "I am too tired."

"It is done," he said, stroking the sweaty strands from in front of her face.

"No, it's not," she cried as another pain struck.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The cord was tied off and cut so the child could be cleaned up and quickly wrapped. His mouth was cleared, and he cried loudly.

"Listen to him, Jane, is that not the sweetest sound?"

John continued to hold his wife in a deep squat while the placenta was delivered, and finally, the need to push ended. 

"Sir, we need to clean her up now, but you can hold your son."

"Jane, will you be OK?"

"Hold him until I can."

John looked left and right to see the woman attendants flanking him. He relinquished Jane to them reluctantly, but his face lit up as their son was placed in his arms. Jane was cleaned up and taken to one of the beds in the room. She was made comfortable, and clean fabric was packed between her legs to absorb the blood. 

"John, bring him. I must see him."

John did as asked. He sat on the edge of the bed Jane was in and lay the child on her chest. He began to fuss and cry, and with an unknown instinct, she helped the babe find her nipple. He began to suckle from her breast and she began to cry. John molded himself against Jane and trailed a hand down the back of their newborn. There were tears in his eyes too.

~~~~~

Although she was exhausted, the sight and feeling of her child drinking from her breast gave her energy. Jane smiled contentedly. John watched as the baby purposefully sucked. He remembered one of the early entries in his mother's diary, and he gently moved his mouth over the nipple not in use. He too sucked from Jane and she moaned and brought her free hand up to the back of John's neck, and stroked his hair in the wrong direction. Never before had she felt two mouths sucking upon her, and it was strange for one to feel so sexual while the other was a maternal instinct. 

"John, stop for now."

He broke his suction and looked into her eyes. He subtly nodded understanding this was a thing to bond her to the child, and he would have his chances to share this.

"Even your mother waited until you were several weeks," Jane teased.

"I love you, both of you. My heart has never been more full."

Jane could see the tears welling up in his eyes.

She tried to fight it, but a yawn overtook her. It had been more than a full day of labor. Jane had lost any idea of the passage of time.

"You should sleep now," John toned warmly to his mate.

"But I wish to watch him. He is perfect."

"And you have not rested in a day and a half. You do him no good of you don't take the time to regain your strength. I will watch him there upon your breast. He will be safe."

Jane worried about losing sight of the boy so soon, but John was right. Jane had nothing left. Her eyes drifted shut, and her breathing slipped into a regular pattern. John knew she slept. The baby continued to suckle and John watched as one hand of their new born child reached out for the other breast and pinched Jane's nipple. John intercepted the tiny pincers, and felt them grasp his thumb. Little cooing noises accompanied the child's meal as he happily continued to suck upon the breast.

John watched all this in wonderment. This was a whole little person. When the baby finished with Jane's breast, he began to cry. John rubbed his hand over the little one's back trying to soothe him, but the crying continued.

"You must burp him," one of the ladies told John.

"Show me."

She came over and carefully cradled the babe, holding the head for extra support. She had thrown a towel over her shoulder and placed the child on it. She rubbed and gently patted the boy's back, and soon a booming burp sounded. John's eyes went wide. How could such a little thing make such a sound? The woman noted John's awe. He came close to the woman holding his son, and she saw how he wanted to hold him again. She transferred the boy into his father's hands, and the baby settled against his chest. He began to cry again, and looked questioningly at the woman who had burped him.

"Soothe him."

"How?"

Rocking, or singing oft helps."

John started into the song he had used to soothe Jane some moons back. He quieted almost instantly. The women of the room were all mesmerized by his voice and the unknown language of the words. Once the baby was quiet, he placed him again on Jane's chest and put her hand on the boy's back. He again settled onto the bed with her and joined his hand to Jane's in supporting the newest Maclaren. He was so glad he had been with Jane for this. 

~~~~~

Meanwhile, downstairs there was a feast. It had nothing to do with the birth, although it provided yet another reason to celebrate. This was the feast of St. Valentine - a mid winter tradition. Most of the household was occupied with the preparations and implementation of this great celebration. Jane's parents were informed of the arrival of their grandson, but were advised that Jane now slept as well as the babe, and John was taking care that Jane had all she needed.

They stayed away as long as possible, but the grandparents wanted to see the little one. The two of them came up, and brought a tray of food. They knew it had been over a day since either of them had left the birthing room, and even if Jane slept now, both she and John still needed food.

They were careful and quiet as they came into the room. John heard them anyway, and looked up with a broad smile. 

"What have you named him?" Jane's mother whispered.

"We have not yet chosen," John answered.

The baby was quiet, obviously content, sleeping upon Jane's chest. 

"We just wanted to see him," Jane's father said.

"He is perfect," John volunteered.

"Yes, I believe he is," the proud grandmother said with a smile.

"We brought food from the feast for you," the Maclaren chief informed.

"What feast?" John innocently replied.

"St. Valentine - it is a mid-winter holy day."

John nodded in response.

"From now on, it will also be the day our love brought him," John said, reaching out to a tiny hand, and feeling it grasp him strongly.

~~~~~

Jane stirred and opened her eyes. She smiled at the sight around her. Her husband and son, mother and father all surrounded her. 

"Sorry we woke you," her father apologized.

"No, you didn't. It was the lamb stew. I'm famished."

Jane held extra tight to her son against her chest and pushed herself to nearly sitting. John saw what she was up to and helped her sit. He then took the boy from Jane and held him against his chest, one hand on the back on the little boy's head. Jane's parents saw the care with which John handled the newborn. He was a natural. A father for less than a day, but he looked like he had done this all his life. John won their admiration all over again.

Jane finished the bowl of stew like she had not seen food for a season and then sighed at the fullness in her belly. The baby began to fuss, and soon cry. But it did not fluster John. He was already learning the different cries. John turned to sit upon the bed and handed him to Jane.

"He is hungry," John told her.

Jane eyed her father just a few feet away and blushed. She did not wish for her father to see her breast. Her mother saw her discomfort and took her husband by the arm, turning him away from Jane.

"Dear, we should allow them privacy."

They could already hear the baby making 'mmmm' sounds as he sucked in his mother's milk.

Without turning around, the chieftain said, "We will come back at a better time. I am proud of you."

John watched them leave, and then brought his focus back to Jane and the baby. She was brushing his hair with her fingers, watching with fascination as he drank from her.

"What shall we name him?" John asked.

"I haven't thought about it much, but I have an idea. How does Hamish Haldan Maclaren sound to you? Your father's name, and the name which your mother wished to name you."

"Are you sure you do not want to honour someone in your family? Your brother, perhaps?"

"I loved my brother dearly, but I cared not for his name, nor could I think on naming my son Angus."

"Your father, then?"

"I wish him to have his own identity, and that means having his own name. Do you not wish to name him for your family?"

"Would you think Haldan would mark him for difficulty?"

"One could be sure my father will not allow him to be ridiculed."

"Then would Haldan Maclaren be to your liking?"

"No second name?"

"You pick."

"How about Ewan? It means little man."

"Haldan Ewan Maclaren - that's a big name for such a wee boy, but I like it."

John kissed Jane upon the cheek, and then did the same to the newly named Haldan.

"My parents will wonder at our choice. Perhaps we could share the story of your mother with them…"

John's face scrunched up, uncomfortable in that thought.

"Not every detail, just that she was from the Danes, and wished to name you with a sense of pride in her heritage."

John looked more accepting, and nodded lightly.

Haldan had now finished his meal and fussed. Jane tried to quiet him, but John took him, patted the boys back, and a loud burp emanated from the little body. Jane looked surprised.

"The midwife showed me this," John told Jane, "He needs this after eating."

John turned around as he swayed with Haldan on his chest. Jane noticed a wet streak down John's back.

"John, your shirt…our son has dribbled down your back."

John tried to turn over his own shoulder, but he couldn't see.

"Bring him to me. You cannot see the spot that way."

Jane could see a light come on in John's eyes.

"What?"

"That is why she used the towel," he smiled.

John gave the boy back to Jane and pulled off the shirt. 

"John, go get fresh clothes."

"I do not wish to leave you, either of you."

"We will be fine. I have many hands to assist me. You may even go sleep if you like. And eat - you touched nothing on the tray."

With great reluctance, John looked back at her. He was tired, hungry, dirty. Jane was right, but being away from them was going to be tough.

"John, you must take care of yourself so you can take care of us."

"I will be back as soon as I change."

John slipped out into the hall, his eyes on them as long as he could see them. He went back to his and Jane's chamber.

~~~~~

Now only women in the chamber, as it should be, the midwives checked Jane again. Her bleeding was under control - how lucky she had been not to be torn by the child's arrival - it was almost unheard of for a first child bearing. Jane's color was good, and her appetite was strong. All those around her were amazed. She was a chief's daughter - strong, brave, resilient.

"Once you get more sleep, you will be able to return to your chamber. You may wash, but do not soak in water until the bleeding has stopped. Also refrain from you husband for that time."

Jane raised an eyebrow at that thought, but they knew best, right?

~~~~~

John quickly threaded his way through the halls back to his chamber. He found a fresh shirt, but before he put it on, John looked around their chamber -it did not look like a child belonged there - but John would fix that. First, he cleaned the puddle of Jane's fluids from the floor. He put fresh linens on their bed, and found the extra blanket in the great chest under the window. There he also found the special blanket given for their child's use, and put it on the bed. He hung extra heavy curtain material over the window, hoping to keep the room warmer, and he laid a nice fire stack - he would light it several hours before Jane returned to make the chamber warm for his family.

John washed up, decided to put on all fresh clothes, and sat on the bed for a moment, just to catch his breath from his activities. He yawned, and fought his eyelids, but they were stronger than he. While still sitting, he fell asleep, and his body drifted sideways, taking him to the pillows. 

~~~~~

In the birthing room, Jane yawned. She settled back down under the covers, and placed the baby to her side. She rolled onto her side, and now Haldan was in front of her. She made sure he lay flat, and tucked her blanket all around him. She watched his breaths, and his movements. He was not supposed to be this quiet - Jane's sister had told her about months of sleepless nights because the babes cried, fussed, needed feeding - was something wrong with her child?

"What troubles you?" one of the women asked Jane.

"Should he be so quiet? Should he not fuss?"

"Consider yourself lucky, ma'am, all mine were the devil 'til nearly a year. You've got a calm one, an angel. Don't fret, he is normal for him."

Jane liked that answer. With a finger tip in a tiny palm, Jane felt his grip. She swore she saw the boy open one eye and wink at her with John's mischievous glint - he was his father's son, there could be no doubt there! She looked to see if there were witnesses, but no one was close by. She smiled, and allowed herself to relax. She drifted to sleep, as did the boy.

~~~~~

John awoke with a start. It was nearly sunset. The sleep had done him good. He knew Jane was right about one thing - if he didn't eat, he would not be able to maintain his strength, and he would do Jane and the baby no good. John went down to the kitchen and prepared a heavy tray with all Jane's favorite foods. It was piled high, so he could thank all who had helped Jane bring their son into the world. He knew some would go to eat on their own, Several had stayed up the whole time with them, and they might be too tired to sup publicly.

John knocked on the moon chamber, and was allowed in. The women graciously accepted the food John had brought for them, and took the tray over to a stand. 

"I thought you said you were coming right back?" Jane teased.

"I am sorry. Sleep overtook me. Can you forgive me?"

"You brought lamb stew?"

"Yes."

"Forgiven."

The smirk on Jane's face relaxed John.

"May I hold him?"

"You need not ask."

John bent and carefully held him to his chest. John sniffed his son, imprinting the scent. Jane ate heartily. While John's back was turned, Jane got out of the bed and found another dish she wanted. When John saw her on her feet, he was surprised.

"Jane, should you be up?"

"I feel fine."

"Does that mean you are ready to come back to our chamber?"

"In a bit."

Jane again lay on the bed. She settled in, arranged the pillows and blankets. John brought Haldan to her, and he turned to the tray to eat. Finally, food in his stomach. He turned back to find his son had the same idea. John moved to the other side of the bed and sprawled across it. His head was next to Jane's hip, and he leaned on her, looking up at the baby on her breast. A deep cleansing breath came from John. He had never been more content, and he could tell by the look on Jane's face that she could say the same. It was a moment of sheer bliss.

~~~~~

The rising sun trickled into the chamber as John, Jane, and Haldan slept together as a family for the first overnight. John was first to wake, allowing him to behold the sight of his wife and child in the morning light. Jane's eyes opened too. The baby began to stir. 

"I have prepared our chamber for your return. When you come back, I have the wood set for a nice fire to warm our chamber, and I will light it so the warmth will await the two of you."

"I'm thinking you should get that started. We are ready."

John excitedly kissed them both on the cheek and took off for their chamber. He reached it with lightning speed, and set off the fire. It burned nicely in no time, and John could feel the temperature coming up. It was ready. John took the blanket that was meant for their child, and headed out.

He returned to his family. Jane was dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed, Haldan in her arms. He was just finishing his breakfast, and was ready to be burped. John placed a towel over his shoulder and brought the boy up to his chest. He carefully rubbed and patted his back until the burp came, and John smiled. The boy felt warm against his chest. Soon, John also felt a dampness along with the warmth. It was growing, spreading down John's front. John looked stunned. 

Jane stifled a laugh as she said, "It looks as thought he is saving these things for you."

John gave her a look, and nodded. Jane took the wet infant from John and the towel and placed him down on it on the bed. John took off his dampened shirt. With a warm damp rag, Jane wiped the boy clean, and then dried him with the towel. Jane had considered swaddling her child, but she did not like the idea of the confinement, nor did she like the thought of leaving the child within such a thing, having it wet itself over and over, and be left to it. Until she could think of something better, the child would be left as naked as the temperatures allowed. 

Now that he was clean, Jane wrapped the blanket John had brought around the boy, and cradled him in her arm. John came behind them and without word, snatched Jane from her feet, and began the walk to their chamber. 

"John, I can walk."

"I know."

She could tell he had no intention of letting her down yet. They were greeted by a wave of warmth as they came into their chamber. John had done an excellent job with the fire. John placed his wife on their bed. They were home. 

When it was high sun, a knock came on the door. It was Jane's mother.

"I have brought the christening gown. It is all set for the morrow."

She looked at the small child in Jane's arms, and a smile spread from ear to ear.

"May I?" she asked, and Jane placed Haldan in his grandmother's arms. The child's eyes opened wide knowing he was being touched by someone else. She sucked in a breath looking into those little eyes. They were the palest ice blue surrounding the pupils. They became more sapphire in color, with a hint of steel blue, and culminated in a deep green, almost black, outer rim. One could just fall within those eyes. And his hair, what there was of it, was such a beautiful strawberry blond. He winked at his grandmother, but no one else was looking, and she dared not mention it in case it had been in her mind.

"Christening?" John questioned.

"It is to welcome our child into God's protection," Jane explained.

"It must be done so soon?"

"Do not worry." 

"You will have chosen a name by then, will you not?" Jane's mother asked.

"Yes, well, about that, could you and father come after the sup? We wish to explain why we chose as we did."

"OK, is that all you wish to share with me?"

"I'd like the both of you here before we discuss this."

Jane's mother looked a bit put off. She didn't like the sound of this. She feared they would not choose to be Maclarens, that they would use some other name after John had promised to become of this clan. She handed the boy back to his mother. 

"Can I get you anything before I leave?"

"No, but you can take John down to the kitchen so he can bring back our meal."

~~~~~

It was just Jane and her son.

"So, young man, I saw you wink at my mother the way you winked at me," she said, stroking her finger down the tiny nose.

"You're full of mischief. But you're my mischief maker, and I love you."

He seemed to laugh.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

After the sup, Jane's parents joined them, both looking uneasy. Not wanting to prolong this, and seeing their discomfort, Jane launched right in.

"When we were at John's castle, we found something of his mother's. It was an account of her life and of John's early years. John's mother was Danish. She fell in love with a Scot, and they married and had John. When he was 5, a Viking party gained entry to their castle, and laid it to waste. John was the only survivor. When he was born, his mother had wanted to give him a name that signified his heritage, but his father did not wish it. We decided to use the name she had not been allowed to."

"So, what have you named the boy?" her father inquired.

Jane looked to John, and it was his cue.

"His name is Haldan Ewan Maclaren," the proud father said.

"It is a fine name, and shows respect to a lost family. It explains much, John. I am proud to have such strong blood in our clan lines."

~~~~~

Come the morning light, John and Jane prepared Haldan for his christening. He was placed in the long, white, lacy gown his grandmother had brought them, and they went to the castle church for the rite. He was named Haldan Ewan Maclaren in the eyes of the lord, and he was anointed. 

Jane was quite tired after it all. They went back to the chamber, and all napped together. They were awakened by Haldan's cries. He was hungry. Jane brought out a breast and satisfied her son, her husband was another matter. He inched closer, wanting to share in his son's experience, but again, Jane stopped him.

"Why not?"

"Because the women told me I could not [i]be[/i] with you until the bleeding has stopped, and if you start, I will not have the will to stop you. We must wait."

John reluctantly accepted, however, that did not mean he would stop touching his wife altogether. He began to gently rub his hands over her still enlarged stomach. It felt good. But Jane became self-conscious, and squirmed until he stopped.

"What?"

"My body, it is not the same. It may never be the same."

"I like the feel of you. It matters not what shape you are, I will never tire of feeling your skin on mine."

Oh, what he wanted to do with her. She had brought this miracle into the world for them. He had watched her grow larger, and even at her largest, he desired her. How could she think that he would feel any different now?

"You are beautiful - and that will never change."

Jane blushed, wishing they could be together right now. She let John again place his hands on her stomach. His touch was gentle, massaging. And when a little foot would invade the space, he would stroke the tiny toenails or wiggle the foot with his hand around the ankle and watch the boy happily coo. 

~~~~~

It felt like an eternity for Jane and John while they waited for her to stop bleeding; and even when it ended, Jane was just not ready. Everything seemed to feel back to normal, but Jane was just not sure. John was patient and supporting even though he wanted to just take her. She saw the desire in his eyes, and she felt bad that he was unfulfilled, but for some reason she was scared.

"Jane?"

"Yes?"

"The bleeding has stopped. Your body looks healed. What is it that scares you? You know I will not hurt you, and you know it did me no harm as a little boy to witness my parents' joining. Please, tell me."

"I wish I knew. I feel the want with each of your touches, but I know how we become when our bodies entwine. What if in our passion, I drop Haldan, and we somehow hurt him?"

"I think he needs to have a place where he is safe - his own little bed. He cannot sleep with us always."

Jane had not thought beyond the birth. She knew life would change with the baby, but the normally practical Jane had not made arrangements for this child once it was outside in the world. She was having enough problems dealing with how to keep her son, and his parents, dry and clean. It seemed that if he was not taking fluid in one end, it was flowing out the other. They had gone through all the clothes they owned in a matter of days. While Haldan was calm, that did not stop him from waking throughout the night to be fed or that he had made another mess. And as much as Jane liked the feel of her son sleeping on her chest, it made her sleep lightly for fear of losing her grip on him. It was all taking a toll on Jane.

John saw the increasing distress on his mate's face. Her body was worn, and her mind was ragged. On top of all that, it was her first moon cycle since the birth. Some days she never managed to get dressed or out of bed. When John returned to their chamber to find Jane in tears, he feared the worst, but Haldan was fine. He knew Jane was not fine. It was all so different than the life Jane was used to. She liked to get out, do things. She lived for herself. And then when she met John, they lived for one another - but they were still free to do as they wished. 

"Jane, it is time. You cannot spend all your time in here with Haldan. You must again join the family for meals. He is old enough to be brought, or allowed to be in another's care for some time. I know he has changed much in our lives, but still we must live!"

Jane had stopped sobbing, and nodded at his words.

~~~~~

Jane wiped her face with a wet cloth. She found something she could wear to the great hall, and laid it out to put on. She washed up for the first time in days, and put the clothes on. All the while, John held Haldan, or watched him wiggle on the bed. He made silly faces at the boy, and watched for reactions. The sapphire eyes followed him, and the little mouth smiled and opened as he cooed at his daddy's attempts to keep him happy. When Jane watched them together, she felt proud and happy, and couldn't suppress a smile. John caught Jane beaming at them, and he smiled back. 

"You are feeling better?"

"Yes, I am. As hard as this is, seeing you with him makes it all worth it."

John stood and kissed Jane on the temple just in time to avoid waterworks from Haldan. He arc-ed a stream into the air that came back down all over the top blanket on the bed. Neither approached until he had finished. John removed his own shirt so he could cradle the boy without soiling one of the few things he had left to wear. Jane took the blanket by each corner so as not to get anything on her dress, and pealed it from the bed before it could soak through. 

John carried the boy to the small table that held the pitcher and bowl for washing up. John poured a liberal amount of water into the bowl, and Jane brought over a ladle of heated water from the kettle they were keeping on the fire. She would pour a little and a little, testing the temperature with the inside of her wrist until it felt just right. John slowly immersed the lower half of the boy and wiped him from head to toe with a soft warm cloth. He handed him off to Jane who wrapped him in a towel, and patted him dry. John cleaned up his chest and arms, dried off, and put his shirt back on. 

While Jane dried Haldan, the towel folded diagonally into a triangle. As it wrapped around the little body, it gave Jane a thought. If she could cover just this lower part of the boy with something that absorbed his wetness, it would avoid these situations. She took a fresh towel, folded it, pulled the short point between his legs and brought the long points around his sides. That might work - but fluid would come through so few layers. Jane took one of the multi layer cloths she used each moon and flattened it out so it would wrap smoothly within the contours of the towel. She tied it in the front, tucked the point up and back down over the first knot, and tied it again. It held.

John saw what she had done and thought his wife to be the cleverest woman ever. 

"Let's go eat," she said with a smile.

For the first time since she had given birth, Jane was going to eat downstairs with her husband, and this would be the first time all three had left their chamber since the christening. Jane carried Haldan, and John walked just behind her, hand held to her back. Once they were seated, it seemed everyone wanted to see the new addition. A steady stream of visitors came and looked at the boy asleep in Jane's arms. He was snuggled in a blanket Jane had tied over one shoulder like a sling. After many interruptions, John and Jane were able to eat their meal. 

Jane's sister came by, her Rowan, just 6 months now, was in her arms. His jet black hair, and pale blue eyes with a lot of yellow in them were so unlike Haldan's attributes one would hardly believe them related. Even she cooed over Jane's baby. They had never been close because Jane was not interested in the same things her sister had been, but she wanted to be supportive of Jane. She knew Jane was not fully prepared for this, but she was glad to see her sister seeming to cope.

"If you need a few hours, I'd be glad to look after Haldan for you. He's a darling little one."

Both John and Jane heard the offer and nodded politely. 

John and Jane returned to the chamber. As they closed the door behind them, Haldan began to cry.

"It is the hunger cry," John told her, and sure enough, the sight of the breast quieted the boy. He drank his fill, and John burped him, and he went back to sleep.

"In the morning, we will get what we need for him to sleep out of our bed. But tonight, he still sleeps here with us. I will keep him to my chest so you may sleep."

Jane had a hard time with that. She had grown used to feeling the small body on her chest, and she lay awake for almost an hour watching Haldan rise and fall on John's chest. Finally, Jane was out. She curled up next to John's body, and slept soundly for the first time since that last night they had loved, the last night before Haldan came.

~~~~~

At the first cry from Haldan, John knew it was again the call of the hungry. He shifted around and trying not to wake Jane, placed the boy on her chest and exposed a nipple for him. Jane felt first the coldness of her breast being exposed and then the sucking. Her eyes flashed open, for a moment thinking John was being amorous, and then remembering that it was not just the two of them anymore. She tiredly looked at John.

"Shh…I will watch him. Do not worry. Sleep if you can," John whispered.

"Could you sleep if I was doing that to you?"

John thought for a moment, looking into Jane's eyes.

"No, I couldn't," he said with a naughty smile taking over his face.

Jane blushed, and felt a stirring in her lower body. At least he could still bring that feeling to her. 

Haldan sated his hunger. John took him back and burped him while he walked the floor. Soon the boy was sleeping against his father's chest, and John eased himself back onto the bed. He was glad to see Jane sleeping. The three slept through until dawn, when the boy again wanted Jane's breast. Jane looked much better this morning. John sat to watch the feeding for a while. He snuggled close behind Jane who was sitting on the edge of the bed. He looked over her shoulder, like he had done to see the child enter this world, and saw a pair of mischievous sapphire eyes give him a look that seemed to say 'these are mine'.

"Will you be alright alone for a while?"

"Sure."

"Good. I am going to collect the things we will need for Haldan."

John kissed his wife on the cheek and put a gentle fingertip on Haldan's nose, and then drew himself up from the bed. He covered his currently nude body, flashed a smile back at his family, and exited the chamber.

To John it was like a scavenger hunt. He found the left over, the discarded, the unused. He asked questions of Jane's sister, and any other mother of a wee babe who would stand him. He got the crash course in what babies needed. Word spread quickly of his inquiries, and soon he was being offered advice he had not even asked for. He did not know there was so much to know! But he graciously listened to what ever they would tell him. John returned to the chamber with much knowledge, most conflicting, and a collection of odds and ends with which John meant to construct Haldan's bed with sides, and a few other ideas he had based on what his son seemed to like.

Jane and the child slept on the bed. John had also brought back food, but did not wake Jane to eat now. It was more important that she get sleep. Haldan looked and smelled clean, and slept in a way only one who is satisfied could. John watched them for a while, but soon set to constructing the small bed for Haldan.

John had found a number of used pieces of wood that no longer served the purpose that had been used for. He shaped them down with the strength of his hands and a sharp blade. He created a framework that resembled the bones of a sailing vessel. It was rounded and semi-circular. John cross balanced several more pieces and those became the legs that would hold this pod up at bed level so Jane did no have to stoop and reach, and so Haldan would be safe from the drafts of the floor. He lashed the pod to the legs with leather thongs so it could swing slightly. Next, he took an expanse of deer hide and covered the interior of the bones. He wrapped the edge of the material around the rim and secured it there with more leather thongs. That would do for now. John put away the other things he had collected just before Jane awoke.

"Where were you for so long?" She asked.

"I asked some of the others with new children what I needed to know. They told me endless lists of things we needed for Haldan. I do not think they all know themselves what is needed for a babe to grow up strong. I listened to all, and chose what I thought important. I built this," John said, proudly showing off his creation.

He showed her how it could be used to rock the child gently like Jane did when she would roll ever so slightly from side to side to soothe the baby.

"I brought food."

John quickly brought Jane the tray. She patted the bed and he put it down there. He slid it over so he could sit on the edge of the bed with Jane and Haldan. The boy happily slept near where John's head usually rested. Jane sat just below her head space, and John now perched at the foot section on his side. He pulled his legs up under himself so he would not dangle over the edge. John looked at Jane with such desire. He would slowly let his mouth envelop each morsel he was taking in, and Jane could feel her temperature rising. Her eyes got wider and wider as the meal continued. She may have been sating one kind of hunger, but John was creating yet another. He cleared the tray to the floor, grabbed Jane by the knees and pulled her down the bed until she was nearly under him. He leaned her back and started kissing her neck and shoulders and finally her lips. Jane was sighing and moaning. He knew it would go nowhere this night because Jane's moon cycle was yet to end, but he wanted her to know, to feel that he still had this kind of desire for her. Haldan broke up moment. John knew the wet cry now too.

"You stay - I will do this," John told her.

~~~~~

Now clean and awake, and shortly there after, fed, Haldan was introduced to his bed. His special blanket was added to it for warmth, and he seemed quite happy within it. 

"Jane, I will watch him if you wish to go see your family, or just be away from here for a time. He is fed, and all other matters I can attend to."

"The thought of not being with him - he was part of me for so long - it is hard to be away from him even for minutes. I do not know how I will sleep not feeling him upon me, or knowing he is not upon you."

"It will be OK," John assured her, stroking his arms over her shoulders. Jane leaned back against his chest and felt his arms envelope her. She was still so round it took the length of John's arms to surround her. 

"Do you want to sup in the hall tonight?"

"Yes, it will be nice to get out again."

When it was time, the three went down, Haldan again slung around his mother's front. They ate and talked like anyone else while the sapphire-eyed child kept them tightly shut, sleeping. Suddenly, he awoke and began to cry. Jane now knew what the different cries meant, and knew he was hungry. Jane extended the sling up over her shoulder and slipped her hand back in. She freed a breast and under the cover of blanket, Haldan also supped. John stayed close in case he needed to shield his wife, but Jane had things under control.

Just before they went back upstairs, John sought out Jane's sister. Without letting Jane hear, she asked her sister if she would watch Haldan either for the morrow or the next day, because John wished to have some alone time with his wife. John had something special planned for Jane. She agreed. Jane had not noticed what went on because she was busy with Haldan. Making the transfer from feeding to burping was a bit difficult without exposing herself.

~~~~~

In the chamber, John placed Haldan in his contained bed. He tucked him in, and then went to take off his clothes and pile them in the corner he always left them in. Jane felt unsure about having Haldan separated. Would he be warm enough? Would he miss the feel of his mother's breathing, the sound of her heart beating? Jane knew it would be safer, but she longed to hold him all night. Jane donned a sleeping gown that tied at the neck, but by untying allowed easy access for the overnight feeding. Jane moved as close to the edge as she could without going over it. She draped a hand into Haldan's bed and let her fingers trail over his chest. John snuggled tightly to Jane, and traced his hand out her outstretched arm, and pulled it back from Haldan.

"Let him sleep," he whispered.

Jane rolled back from the edge a bit. John's arms carefully settled around Jane's waist. John's fingers gently massaged her belly. It was something he had done throughout her pregnancy, and it was almost instinct now. He could press more deeply now because there was no child he feared to injure. It had been weeks since John had slept wrapped around Jane. He had missed this so. He scented his mate eliciting a moan. For what felt like several hours, they both watched Haldan sleep in his bed. He did not seem as affected by this separation as his parents were. Finally, they too slept.

Just as the moon came up, Haldan began the 'I'm hungry' wale, and John was quickly up and putting him in his mother's arms. Jane had not missed the cry. She was untying her top even as John placed Haldan in her arms. Again, after Jane fed him, John burped and changed him after feeling that he was wet. Soon, Haldan was back in his bed, and Jane was back in John's arms. They would get this right.

~~~~~

In the morning, Jane was preparing the caldron for her bath when Haldan cried for his breakfast. She stopped her prebath works, and tended to Haldan's needs. John had gone to fetch breakfast for Jane and himself, and smirked as he returned to find the caldron half filed. This was the day he had been waiting for. 

John finished filling her bath, and Haldan finished his meal. She handed him off to John for the burping, and she stripped down and got into the water. With a deep sigh, Jane slipped to her neck in the water and felt her tight muscles relax. She was reclined, eyes closed, feeling the steam pass her face as it moved into the cooler air. Haldan began to cry, and she was alert in an instant.

"What's wrong?" Jane quickly asked.

"I do not know, this is a new cry. He is fed, in no need of a change…shh…shhh…Come on Haldan, what is it you need?" 

John bounced slightly as he walked, hoping the movement would soothe. The boy continued to cry and fuss. There was one thing left to try.

Humming at first, John started the melody. It was the same sweet song he sang to Jane when she was first with child, and the same one he had sung the day Haldan was born. It had worked then, and he needed it to work now or his plan would fall apart.

" En yndig og frydefuld sommertid  
i al sin herlighed,  
den glæder og trøster så mangen en,  
alt ved Guds kærlighed.  
Den fører blomsterskaren frem,  
og rosen rød, så dejlig og sød,  
den ser du da igen.

Blandt alle disse blommer véd jeg én,  
en rose for dem alle,  
udsprungen af en dejlig gren,  
ud af en yndig stamme.  
Vel er der mange smukke til,  
men jeg for sandhed sige vil:  
han overgår dem alle."

Haldan had quieted before John even finished the first stanza.

"That was beautiful. What does it mean?" Jane asked.

"I do not know. I remember my mother singing it, but I was so young. I never knew the meaning, only the sound of it. Her voice could take away my fears. Many nights after she was gone I would think hard to remember her sound, how she could make me feel loved with just a few lines. I wish I had learned her tongue."

"I'm sorry John."

"It was not your fault, and you could not have changed how my life was. I just wish I could share my mother's culture with Haldan."

"Would you like to find out more about the Danes? I'm sure there are people who could tell you what you wish to know. You cannot be the only one of Dane's blood among the clans. If we could find someone familiar with the language and customs, you could get back some of what she never was allowed to teach you."

"Perhaps," John said pensively.

"Is he asleep?"

"No, but he is calm now. Enjoy your bath," John said as he walked to the door of the chamber.

"Wait, John, where are you going with him?"

"Do not worry, just relax for now."

Jane felt the pangs of separation, but as she was deep in water, and it would have taken quite long to get dried and dressed, She would not catch John if she tried. 

"John's right. I have to relax. He would never let anything happen to Haldan."

After a long soak, Jane felt the first tinge of coolness in the bath water, and knew she must not stay until it was cold or it would be pervasive. Jane cleaned herself fully, dipped under the surface one last time, and then crawled out of the caldron. It was not a smooth egress. Jane was not balanced as she once was. Though the weight of the child was no longer in her, she was still no where near her fighting shape. She was still distended. She did not mind that her breasts were nearly twice the size she had know all her adult life, but Jane wondered if she would ever see the return of her slim waist. She was laced with purple and red stretch marks, as well as some that were not of any color, but whose paths could be traced by her fingers. It was knocked home again when the towel would not go around her. Tears welled up in her eyes, and as the sadness overwhelmed her, she threw herself on the bed and all out cried.

John came back to this scene. He quickly ran to Jane's side and wrapped his arms around her. He just held on. She was onto the snuffing and recovering before her senses returned fully.

"Where is Haldan?" she squawked.

"John, what have you done with our son?"

"He is with your sister."

"Why?"

"Because I asked her to look after him for a few hours."

"But John…"

He placed a finger across her lips and quickly followed it with a kiss. Deeper and more intense, each kiss brought a moan or sigh. John spread Jane out on the bed, her towel still underneath her. He picked up a jar that had been in his hands when he came back in, and stood over Jane. 

"What is that?" Jane asked, suspicious. 

"It is something to help you relax. It is an oil with lavender and mint. I am told the combination will soothe and refresh you…Roll over."

Jane did as asked and rested her chin in the cradle of her crossed arms. She felt the cool drizzle on her back, and tensed for a moment until she felt John's hands begin to smooth up and out from the center of her back to her shoulders. He took each arm, and oiled that, leaving her arms at her sides, and her head turned to one side flat against the bed. He poured more on the small of Jane's back and worked his way down over her gluteus and thighs. He paid special attention to her calves, ankles and feet, taking the time to massage every toe. 

John had her turn over again. He poured a bit of it out on Jane's stomach, and began to rub it in small circles. His touch was all she could think about. It was the response he wanted. He could smell her stimulation. He was going to coat her completely, but stopped when he noted the dribbled trails squeezing from Jane's breasts. He put the oil aside. John licked the expelled milk, and sucked each nipple when he reached it. Jane did not tell him no this time. John was now completely above Jane's body. He lowered himself to suck and taste the milk from each of her breasts time and time again. She was beginning to writhe. When he had become naked she did not know, but as he lowered himself each time, she could feel the length of him brush her thigh. She moved her arms straight out from her sides, and her hands fisted into the bedclothes as supportive outriggers. She was arching from the bed with each suck, and her legs spread wide. 

He looked into her eyes, and she nodded. The want and the readiness were mutual. John slipped into her and she sucked in a breath. It had been so long. She just wanted to feel him in her depths. She lifted up against him and held as long as she could. When she dropped back down, John began thrusting, moving, driving into her. As her passion grew more milk escaped from her nipples, and John licked and sucked every bit. Jane's oiled legs slipped across John's back and hips, and it was as if they moved in unison with his thrusts. It was the same slippery feeling he felt being inside her. When she climaxed, Jane yelled loudly and pulled him as tightly into her as she could. 

All the tension was gone from Jane. The bath had left her clean, John's massaging touch had left her muscles relaxed, and their loving had taken Jane to a calm state for both body and mind. She sighed contentedly as she exhaled.

"I love you," Jane reflexively mumbled as this feeling washed over her.

John smiled.

"I had hoped this would help. I am glad to see you so relaxed."

"More," she sighed.

John began to kiss her neck, her throat. He trailed to her shoulders, and soon he was deeply sucking one breast then the other, the taste of her milk making him love her even more. She had been letting him do as he wished since he started this, but now, as her passion grew this time, Jane recalled how much fun it had been to take the lead in such things. Jane assertively rolled John onto his back and straddled him. 

"I have missed this," Jane whispered as she lowered her mouth to his. There was still enough oil on Jane that she almost slipped off her husband, but John caught her, and they both began to giggle realizing it would have been funny had she just squirted off him in her oily state. She rode up and down on him, keeping her eyes closed for most of this time because she did not wish to look upon her own body now. It would bring reality back, and right now Jane did not want to think about her misshapen body or the fact that she was now a mother, not just John's lover, wife and life. She wanted to imagine her thin, lithe body, pleasuring John, and the impending body shuddering climax she knew he was going to bring her to.

When they piqued this time, Jane rolled off him to her back, and put one knee up, wagging it back and forth. She had not felt this way since Haldan's birth. John really knew what she needed. She almost fell asleep, but her eyes shot open quickly as gasped.

"Are you hurt?" John quickly asked.

"John, you must go get Haldan. How long has he been away from us?"

"I am sure he is fine with your sister, but I will fetch him. Please, do not worry so much."

John kissed her lingeringly on the lips and got up from the bed. Jane again relaxed against the bed, and John saw her body language. He had indeed taken away much of the tension built up within Jane. 

~~~~~

When John returned with Haldan, Jane smiled with relief. He was fine, he looked happy. John placed him in his bed pod and tucked him in. He returned to Jane on the bed. His hands slowly rubbed her abdomen, and he kissed the back of her shoulder. 

"You have much desire tonight," she whispered.

He didn't answer with words. He lifted Jane's top leg and slipped inside his mate. Just as he did that, Haldan started the hungry cry. John pulled back. He reached the boy from his bed and Jane put a nipple into his mouth. John lifted them both onto his lap. He again slipped within Jane, their child held between their chests. His head lowered and began to suck her other nipple. Jane tried to control her breaths. She thought she might die from the pleasure. John was almost lapping the milk from her breast with a suck lick succession. 

With a controlled shudder, he filled her. Haldan still sucked, and though John had discharged, he stay put in her. It was not until Haldan needed to be burped that John withdrew himself. As soon as he took the boy, Jane collapsed back on the bed. While she was exhausted, it was for a good reason, and it was a contented exhaustion. 

~~~~~


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**The sun rose on the next phase of John and Jane's relationship. John had needed to show Jane she was still a desirable, sexual being. She had been able to let go for the first time since Haldan's arrival.**

**Over the next few weeks and months, the couple were able to fuse the before and after Haldan parts of their relationship. They both worked to enrich their son's existence - he got more love than one could hope to get. They were amazed with each new thing Haldan could do - push up on his arms, roll over, sit.**

**Jane loved it when she would come into their chamber and find John and Haldan on the floor, with a blanket or hide beneath them, playing with the blocks John had made out of the other odds and ends he had collected. John had made all the shapes needed to build a castle, and he would stack them up and let Haldan crash them down. Sometimes Jane would find John on his stomach face to face with their son, trying to see it all from his level. It was at those times that Jane thought John looked like a child as well, experiencing the world through new eyes. Often, John would invite Jane to join them and he would draw her down into his lap.**

**When Spring came, John was enlisted to help with the plowing and planting. His strong back made easy work of it even in the rocky soil, and he would come in at the end of the day covered in dirt, but smiling because he was part of something - his clan needed him, and he was proud. While John was outside, Jane found ways to fit in as well. She became increasingly social with the other women. Jane found she had a skill for taking the raw wool to a fine yarn and thread. For some reason, she was able to work the spinning wheel like a pro - there was a technique to it - it reminded her of swordplay in a way - but that she did not share with the women.**

**Jane continued to nurse her son along with introducing increasingly solid food, until the day he pulled the nipple from his mouth, looked at it, and then purposefully bit it with his new teeth.**

**"That's it," Jane proclaimed, "you best enjoy the last of my milk while it still comes, because Haldan has had his last turn at the teat!"**

**John clearly heard her. He had enjoyed the pleasures of Jane's milk shared with his son, but he knew the time would come. John and Jane's time together continued to be full of new pleasures, as they again found almost daily wants. Between caring for Haldan, again being out and about, and their strenuous displays of passion, along with the deep massaging John performed on Jane's abdomen, Jane had burned a surplus of calories, and she was soon nearly back to the shape she wanted to be. The leggings were a little snug, but they did fit - and the breeks could all but tie around Jane. Jane did notice that everything was more snug around her thighs, and her shape was not as boyish as it had once been, but John liked being able to get a grip on his wife.**

**~~~~~**

**Haldan continued to grow. He walked and began talking at an early age. He was the splitting image of his father except for the redness in his strawberry blond hair that now trailed to his shoulders. And he was strong. He could pull himself up with his arms and just hang there endlessly. Jane got plenty of hand-me-down gowns to dress him in as Rowan outgrew each size just ahead of Haldan.**

**When Haldan outgrew his little bed, John built him a bigger one, and they placed it in the side room, which meant the bathing caldron had to move. However, that was not something Jane was willing to do without, so it was merely placed in another spot, no matter how tight it made things in the chamber. Haldan saw great affection between his parents, so it was normal to him to see them entangled on the bed, though they generally refrained from getting wild unless Haldan was under the watch of another.**

**Neither could explain why with their sexual appetites Jane did not become with child again right away, but just as John's mother had said in her diary, should they have just the one child, their lives would be no less complete, for they had each other, and Haldan. They belonged.**

**Thoughts of finding out about John's Dane's blood had gone by the wayside as they settled into life as parents and contributing members of the clan. It was not until a curious Haldan, just four years old, found the diary in the great chest, that Jane again even thought of this.**

**"What is that?" he asked Jane while she was rearranging the items in the chest.**

**"That's an old story. Your daddy's mom left it behind for us to find so we would know about her life."**

**"Oh," he answered, and gave it no other thought as his mind was on to other things. But it reminded Jane how much John had wondered about who he was, and what he had missed out on because his mother was not there to tell him of her customs, or teach him her language. Maybe it was time to change that.**

**~~~~~**

**It was Summer. John had taken Jane and Haldan outside the castle walls to learn about the animals, and how to hunt. They were on the crest of a hill, blanket on the ground, watching from prostrate positions. Haldan was between them while John pointed out distant shapes he knew to be deer and quail. This was the first step - observing potential prey in their environments. Actual hunting of animals would not happen until their son was older, and had been trained better.**

**This was when Jane broached the subject.**

**"John, do you still wish to know about your mother's culture?"**

**"I have not thought much about it. Why do you ask now?"**

**"Your mother's journal. We found it, and it set me to thinking. Do you ever feel as though something is missing? Do you have a thought, a memory, and wonder if it was something your mother could have answered?"**

**"There are times, but I would never claim I lack what I need. You and Haldan, and our life here, is more than I ever thought to have."**

**"But would you like to know what the song your mother sang you meant?"**

**John nodded.**

**That night, Jane spoke to her father after the sup.**

**"Father, do you know of any other Danes within the clans?"**

**"Not within this one. Why do you ask?"**

**"John wonders about the language, the customs. Not that he thinks anything is missing from his life here among the Maclarens, but it is a part of his life he knows nothing about. I wish to give him the gift of this knowledge."**

**"I understand. I will ask among the chiefs."**

**~~~~~**

**Malcolm led a party visiting from the Stewarts, and was told of the search among the friendly clans to find one of Danish blood who knows the language and customs.**

**"So, John, what is this I hear about you seeking knowledge of the Danes?"**

**"When we returned to the place you found me, I found some things of my mother's, including an account of her life, and my early years. I found she was Dane. It is more something Jane wants for me."**

**That was when Haldan came and tugged his father's kilt. It got him lifted up onto his father's shoulders.**

**"Well, who is this fine lad?"**

**"Haldan, say hello to Malcolm."**

**"Hello."**

**"So, you're Haldan, aye?"**

**The boy set his gaze and stared down this man, sapphire eyes looking quite determined.**

**"No one would ever dispute you to be his father. I know that look," Malcolm said with a smile.**

**"I will see if I can find one who speaks the Dane language if you will tell me more about what happened to you as a boy. I always wondered how you came to be the only survivor of such a thorough attack."**

**John told Malcolm parts of the story, but there were details he left out, like names, and how amorous his parents were. Malcolm was satisfied with his account, and was glad to know of this. His friend had had a tough beginning, but seeing him now, happily married, and the father of such a handsome, strong son, Malcolm knew this was what John deserved.**

**~~~~~**

**Word spread among all the clans about the search for one of Dane's blood. And soon it reached a party of Danes who were trading wares with a more coastal clan. It piqued the interest of one of these traders why such a search would occur. He inquired of this search.**

**"Tell me, friend, why is it that among the Scots this is inquired?"**

**"A member of one of the clans wishes to know more of his Dane's blood. I know no more."**

**"Who is it that seeks this?" the Dane's man asked, his small eyes full of trouble.**

**"The word came from the Stewart clan."**

**"Well, I offer whatever I could help with," he answered, glint in his eyes.**

**The Danes trader returned to his cohort - a very tall, ample man who was trying to secure a wench for the night, but finding no takers. Both once wielded considerable power, but had been reduced to scratching out a living as traders because they had been unable to return a wayward Dane to the fold, at least that was how they related the story. They had been cast out for the way they went about the attempt to return these members of the family. But the smarter of the two had never surrendered the thought of returning, and bringing the long lost son of Dane's blood home. He wondered if he had just stumbled upon his chance to find the missing boy.**

**They traveled to the castle of the Stewarts, and claimed to be willing to provide the information being sought. As luck would have it, John, Jane and Haldan were among a party that had traveled from Maclaren castle to join the festivities for Malcolm's marriage. With such a crowd within the walls of the castle, nothing was thought of these two. They mingled and partook of the wedding feast, eating enough for two men each. After the grand sup, Haldan had gone off with the children, many his age, and John and Jane stayed to the fringe of the crowd and John told her to stay put while he made way to fill the mugs for them. From across the room, John saw Malcolm approached by these two Dane's, and the hair on the back of his neck stood out straight. He felt a tingle. At the moment Malcolm pointed in John's direction, he ducked out of sight and went back to his wife.**

**"I saw you duck back. What is wrong?" Jane instantly asked.**

**"We must go."**

**"Why?"**

**"I will explain, but we go now. Where is Haldan?"**

**"He's playing with the others. Is there danger? Should we gather Rowan as well? "**

**John did not say more, but took Jane by the wrist and gave her a look that almost scared Jane with its intensity. They found Haldan and gathered him up. They did not go to the chamber Malcolm had set aside for them, rather they went to the stables and John readied their pony to leave.**

**"John, we can not go in the dark. Please, stop this and tell me what has happened? Malcolm is your greatest friend, what would make you leave before his wedding feast is done?"**

**"THEY are here."**

**"Who they?"**

**"Those who killed my parents."**

**"What? John, are you sure?"**

**"I saw them speaking to Malcolm, and he pointed them to me."**

**"John, Malcolm would never point you out to such people."**

**"He does not know - but I do."**

**"John, you were only 5 at the time - how can you be sure?"**

**"I just know."**

**"Calm down. We'll find out, I promise, but to run off into the night would be a fool's trip."**

**John agreed he had acted rashly, but he did not concede his belief that he had seen his parent's killers.**

**~~~~~**

**Malcolm was sure he had seen John, and what's more, he saw the abrupt turn he had taken to quickly disappear. John would not do so without reason, and he would find that reason, but not now. Now he had to cover for his statement and his friend.**

**"It looks as though I was mistaken. I thought that was him, but perhaps he has retired for the evening already."**

**"This early?"**

**"Yes, he is happy to entertain just his wife, and I would not be the one to interrupt!" Malcolm joked to give reason not to tell them the whereabouts of John's chamber. "I am sure I can find him in the morning, but you must excuse me, it is my wedding night after all."**

**Malcolm grinned, feigning a secure friendliness.**

**~~~~~**

**Without again entering the main hall, they got to their chamber. John had carried both Jane and his son up the outer wall to reach the room unseen. He made sure it was tightly locked, and that no one laid in wait for them. He paced nervously. How would he tell Malcolm of the danger those two posed without exposing himself to the danger? What did they want here? How would he keep Jane and Haldan safe? His nostrils flared, and his eyes were wild, the survival instinct rising to the surface.**

**"John?…John!"**

**He looked at Jane for the first time since they entered the chamber.**

**"Calm down, please?"**

**His clenched fists eased somewhat, and Jane could see the deep seeded worry in his eyes.**

**"Trust me - I may have been young, but I doubt I could forget such a pair."**

**"John, I believe you, but what can we do?"**

**"I don't know," John finally said as he sat on the edge of the bed.**

**Jane sat by his side and rubbed her hand over his back as she placed her head on his shoulder. He brought an arm around her back. Haldan came and stood at his parent's knees, and was gathered into his father's lap as he extended his arms around daddy's muscular neck.**

**~~~~~**

**Malcolm spent a good part of the morning searching the great hall for John. He had noted him ducking back, but thought little of it again until he could not find his friend among the crowd. His mind had been on other pursuits as it had been his wedding night. For both Malcolm and his bride it was the second time around. His first wife had been taken, along with their child upon the birth. It had crushed the man. He had all but given up on living until he had that encounter with the unknown creature who had absconded with his salt pork. Seeing John brought back to humanity, and find Jane, had offered Malcolm the spark of hope he needed to get on with his life.**

**His new bride had lost her first husband to the battlefield, but she was still young, and childless. He was scared by the thought of wedding himself to one who would want to have children yet. For he feared he would be the death of her as well, but she had wormed her way into his heart, and he would be miserable should she turn to another because he had been unable to face the risk. Unlike John and Jane, this couple went into their wedding night knowledgeable. That fact showed on their faces this morning, but John's absence struck Malcolm as odd.**

**Malcolm headed up to the chamber he had set aside for his best friend and his family and knocked upon the heavy door.**

**"John, you decent?" he yelled.**

**John moved to the door.**

**"Are you alone?" he yelled back.**

**"Yes, but why?"**

**John opened the door and pulled Malcolm in by his arm, stunning him.**

**"What is this?" Malcolm complained, pulling his arm free from John's clutch.**

**"I could not risk letting the door fall open too far."**

**"John, I thought you had lost that suspicion some time ago. What has prompted this?"**

**"The men who spoke to you last evening - did they give you their names? Did you give them my name?"**

**"Which men, John, I spoke to all the castle last night!"**

**"They would have been Dane."**

**"Oh, them, I remember. What of them? They were offering to tell you of Dane's language and customs. I do recall thinking I had seen you shy away as I pointed you out."**

**"I think them to be those who killed my parents and my clan - the very sight of them made me feel as little as Haldan."**

**"It cannot be. This many years later?"**

**"I know what I saw, then and now. Did they give names?"**

**"I think I heard the big one call the bald one Rikard. What of it?"**

**"I think him to be my uncle, and the other thought himself betrothed to my mother before my father stole her heart. They took revenge for that anger, and because of that, I grew to manhood alone."**

**"John, I'm so sorry. I never should have had my father inquire about your Dane's blood, and that wish to know more. I only sought to give you the gift of knowledge. I wanted you to know the richness of your culture. I did not think to bring them back into your life," a tearful Jane lamented.**

**"It was no one's fault. Fate would have it no other way. But the result shall not repeat. They will pay for all they did."**

**John was resolute.**

**"Malcolm, I do not wish to mar your celebration. I will not face them here. Find them; tell them I have left for home. I would rather face them on the most familiar terrain."**

**"OK, John, whatever you wish. I am sorry that I pointed you out to them," he said patting John on the shoulder.**

**He slipped out the door, and John again locked it tight.**

**~~~~~**

**Hours passed.**

**"I'm hungry," Haldan complained.**

**"I know, me too," Jane said in a soothing voice. "Oh, wait," Jane added as she went to the traveling bag that had been tied to the pony. She removed some dried meat from a wrapping, and handed a piece to Haldan, and took one for herself and for John as well.**

**As he slowly chewed on the hardened meat, the gnawing in his stomach stopped.**

**"Why can't I go play with the others?"**

**"It's not safe right now."**

**Haldan could hear the other children running and playing outside. They were having such fun - even Rowan was out there. How could it be safe for him and not for the strongest boy among the Maclaren clan? Haldan was cross.**

**A knock came, and again it was Malcolm.**

**"What did they do? Say?"**

**"They could not be found. It seems that they left already."**

**That struck them all as odd. While the adults continued to talk, Haldan decided it would not do to be stuck inside if the danger had moved on. He moved silently to the chamber window that John had brought them in through the night before, and he was gone. He had acquired his father's skills, and smoothly made his way to the ground so he could run and play with all the others.**

**It was not until Malcolm was about to leave that Haldan's absence was noticed.**

**"Where's Haldan?" Jane asked, looking around the room.**

**"Haldan?" John called.**

**They heard the call from outside - Haldan had been told the story of the red-haired fighter before they had come to the wedding, and Haldan liked to try his "fearsome call" as the boys play-fought. The story was quite popular among the Maclaren boys - something to aspire to, and if one made the call, the rest would return it in a chorus of similar calls every time, running wildly about. He did not know that the call was one his mother had started, and such, when he did the call, he very much sounded like she had. Jane's head snapped up and she ran to the window, John close on her heels. They looked out to see young Haldan sword fighting with Rowan using antler-hard tree branches.**

**Malcolm also witnessed this.**

**"He's a right swordsman you have there - and he has that call down. One would think him related to the fighter whose voice bore that sound."**

**Jane blushed a bit, and bit at her lips.**

**"He was taken by the story," John affirmed.**

**~~~~~**

**After taking in a long delayed meal, and chiding young Haldan for not obeying the wishes of his parents, they made ready to leave for home. They did not travel alone, for it was more journey than could be made before day's end, and there was safety in numbers. John kept watch over the encampment from a tree. He did not trust that those two men were gone, and he would not let his new clan befall the same fate that had taken his first family. Jane tried to remain calm because she knew her sister could work herself into a panic, and the last thing they needed was her thinking she saw strangers in the shadows.**

**At first light, they had a light meal from carried supplies, and set out to complete the journey home.**

**All looked welcoming as Maclaren castle came into sights. Jane looked over her shoulder and smiled at John as the dappled gray kept on its steady pace. Haldan rode in front of them on the pony, his hands at the reins. He showed great skill and empathy when dealing with the ponies and horses. Even at five years old, his understanding of the world around him seemed to go beyond his age. It was as if he was born knowing all, though never in a bad way. He held an old soul.**

**Haldan brought the pony into the stable and guided him into the stall. It was good to be home. John easily swung off the pony's back, and lifted Jane to the ground. Haldan leaned back, swung one leg around, and leapt. He absorbed the energy of the drop with a crouch, and recoiled to again stand to his full height.**

**"May we go play?" Haldan asked as Rowan now stood aside him. Those two little faces could be hard to deny anything to.**

**"Just until it is time to sup," Jane allowed, and they were gone before she could utter another sound.**

**"You spoil him at times," John said, but it was not said with anything but affection, "but I cannot deny him either."**

**John wrapped his arms around Jane and kissed her neck. The pile of straw in the stall soon felt their weight upon it as kisses grew to all out passion. Together they hit a level of passion they had only found one time before, and this time Jane would not be mute on her thoughts.**

**"If we did not create a child just now, I will be surprised," Jane panted in John's ear.**

**"MMmmmm, grrrrr," John answered.**

**Jane shivered at his sounds.**

**As they entered the great hall, John found yet another strand of straw tangled in Jane's hair, and removed it to the floor. They made their way to join Jane's parents, and John again pulled a line of straw from Jane. She turned and looked at John to smile at him for the memory the straw stirred, but his eyes were fixed ahead. Jane turned back to look and inhaled and held a breath as she noted, along with John, the visitors sitting in their spaces.**

**"John, Jane, come, we have found you a translator. You will at last know the words your mother sang to you," the chief Maclaren proudly proclaimed.**

**"How did they get here?" John whispered in Jane's ear.**

**"I don't know, but play nice for now. Too many could be hurt in the hall, and they may not know who you are. Few are as observant as you," she whispered back.**

**They moved ahead, Jane again placing a fake smile on her lips for her father's benefit. John held himself in check.**

**"Rikard, this is my daughter Jane, and her husband John - he is the one who lost his Dane's heritage and seeks to regain the knowledge."**

**Rikard stood and faced John, offering his hand. John reluctantly shook the proffered limb, feeling a sickly chill creep over his flesh.**

**"Well, hello there, John. We managed to miss meeting at… Malcolm's, was it?… wedding."**

**"Yes, he told me. How is it you come to be here before we even get home?"**

**John's tone remained pleasant, but it was a strain.**

**"When we found it was such a short trip to your home castle, we decided it was better not to stay uninvited to a wedding."**

**John nodded his understanding.**

**Rikard's companion had been leering at Jane the whole time, his pasty tongue darting through his lips as he nearly salivated looking at Jane. He now tugged on Rikard's shear-ling cape to indicate he wished to be introduced.**

**"Oh, where are my manners. This is Ragnar, my friend."**

**John again nodded his recognition, but Ragnar took Jane's hand and slobbered all over it as he presumably was kissing the back. John disengaged Jane's hand from the contact and eyed Ragnar, hoping to pass his displeasure along. The raised eyebrow and intense gaze seemed to successfully say what he knew he could not civilly say with words.**

**John and Jane each shot the other a look. It was now confirmed. The names fit, the descriptions fit - the people fit. The only living blood to John was standing there, and all John could think was how he wanted to kill him. Jane could feel the rising heat in John, so she attempted to get thoughts shifted.**

**"After such journeying, should we not eat before we talk business, or anything else for that matter? I, for one, am famished."**

**All agreed, and John was sure to sit closely to Jane, and across the table from both Rikard and Ragnar so as to keep them surveyed. You could have cut the tension with a knife.**

**~~~~~**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Jane was glad, for once, that Haldan had not obeyed. She did not want him anywhere near these two. John and Jane were silent throughout the meal, feeling nervous, knowing what no other knew. They sat in the presence of evil. John and Jane were in a no win situation. There was no way out of this, so playing along was all they could do.

"So, John," Rikard said as he swallowed his last mouthful, "The chieftain tells me you wish to know a few things."

"Yes. I remember little of that part of my life, but I recall a song my mother once sang to me. I do not know what the words mean."

"If you sing it, I'm sure I could tell you."

In a low voice, John sang his mother's song. Within moments, Rikard's eyebrow raised, and a sickly smile tried to break onto the man's lips. He knew that song well. His mother sang it to him, and his sister had a particular liking for it as well. He was almost certain now. John was his long lost nephew - the young Viking had survived! Rikard's translation was a little rough, but between them they were able to hash out an understanding of the lyrics.

That was when Haldan came charging across the floor. He saw his parents across the table and moved to be with them. As he came from behind the visitors, they turned when they saw John and Jane's eyes come alert to the approach. Rikard swiveled in his seat, and with a big fake smile took the boy by the arms, surprising all of them.

"This must be your boy," He said lifting the boy onto the bench. Haldan just stood there, unsure what he should do. Jane quickly stood and reached across the table, picking Haldan up by the pits. She skimmed him over the table and hugged him tight as she maneuvered him into her lap to sit. She was not often so clingy, but Haldan had picked up a vibe that told him she was doing this for a good reason. He sat quietly.

"We must turn in," John said now as an excuse.

"Oh, please, let me tell you more. The night is still so young," Rikard enticed. 

"After all the travel, we are in need of the sleep."

"Well then," the chieftain said, "goodnight John, Jane, Haldan."

Jane felt a wave of worry come over her at the saying of her son's name.

Without another word, the three of them stood and headed out of the room, glad to see their nemeses still seated as they climbed the stairs away.

John was wound up as Jane released a sigh of relief upon hearing John latch the door of their chamber. This shift of emotions from high to low, back up and back down, were almost more than the couple could take. Haldan was tucked in, and after all the running around and the recent travel, he was out quickly.

"They do not seem to recognize you," Jane said.

"I am not so sure, but I hope you are right. There was something about the way he grabbed Haldan. It brought a chill to me. It was the same way he greeted me when they visited to expose the castle, to kill my clan."

"I know how hard this is for, but if they truly do not know you, can we hope they just leave?"

"It occurred to me as well, but I cannot let what they did pass. At the sup was no time to speak it."

Jane walked over to the pacing John and leaned her head on his chest. It stopped his walking, and he curled his arms around her. They both turned to look out the window. A big yellow moon hovered above the horizon bathing the courtyard with a champagne light. They stood and stared for a long time.

"We cannot stay until the sunrise. We must sleep in order to be ready for whatever they do, whether they know you or not."

"I know my love. Jane, your father should be made aware. I am afraid that Rikard has spent the time before we came, and this time now, to make him feel comfortable and trust him. Words alone will not convince your father that my memory was true if he bonds with them."

"What if I show him the last few pages of your mother's journal? The descriptions, the names, what they did - it all fits. My father will listen to reason. He trusts me, he trusts you - we have years of truth on our side. Leave that to me."

John kissed Jane on the temple, and they both stripped naked and got into their bed. Everything would look clearer after sleep - not necessarily better, but clearer. 

~~~~~

Once the hall emptied out, and Rikard and Ragnar were alone, a gleeful smile placed itself on Rikard's face and would not leave him.

"It is him," Rikard said.

"How do you tell?" Ragnar asked.

"All the clues count up. Parents killed while he was young, that song, and his son named Haldan," Rikard said counting the items off on the last three fingers of his left hand. "Freya would have named her boy that had her Scot not objected. I recall Jens passing that along after that time he saw her great with child."

All this was spoken in Danish so even if someone did overhear, it would not sound suspicious.

"What is your plan?" Ragnar asked.

"We take back what is ours."

~~~~~

Could morning really come so quickly? John and Jane both felt as though someone had turned the time forward, and made it morning way too soon. Neither were ready for what would come. They reluctantly got out of their bed and started the day. With a wounded, worried look, John gazed upon his bride. It was as if yesterday he had felt the pounding in his chest when they were introduced and he had whispered Jane's secret to her. He felt a lump in his throat and swallowed it down. Jane could read him like a book now. The fear had never been so palpable. 

"We have an advantage, John. We know what they can do - the deceptions they might pull," she said smoothing the hair away from his eyes with a hand on either side of his head. He brought his hands over hers and brought them together in front of his face. He drew them to his lips and kissed the backs of her hands as their eyes locked together.

"You warn your father like we discussed, I'll keep a close eye on Haldan."

Jane nodded. She went to the great chest and uncovered Freya's journal cloths. She brought it all to her bed, and was going to pick the stitches out so she could take just the pages that dealt with Rikard and Ragnar, but she couldn't bring herself to dismantle this heirloom. She smoothed the pages flat again and picked the whole thing up together. She was off to her parent's chamber.

On her way, Jane encountered her mother and sister heading down for morning meal.

"What is that you've got there?" her mother asked.

"It is John's mother's journal. There is something in it I wish to show father."

"Now is not the time. He speaks with our visitors."

Jane felt her nerves and fear rise to the surface.

"Now, come down with us."

Jane turned to look back up the hall. She caught a look from John that showed her he had heard what was said, and he gave a slow nod. Haldan sat on his father's shoulders, and rode downstairs on him. Jane donned a half-hearted smile, returned the journal to her chamber, and went down to the meal. 

Jane got increasingly fearful when her father did not join them, nor did Rikard and Ragnar. The whole meal was completed and still there was no sign of the three. Haldan went off with his cousins and others of the clan for learning and playing outside. They told and listened to stories that told the history of the clan. They scratched out letters and words on stones with charcoal or chalk. The most learned of the clan, the holy father and the brothers from the abbey, instilled them with messages of how to stay on the lord's path. That violence was only a last resort, but that defending those who could not defend themselves was also the lord's work through them to keep an orderly society. The boys were obedient, but not particularly thrilled to have to sit still. They all waited patiently for playtime when sometimes the best fighters would come to instruct them in swordplay and hunting. John stayed within sight of his son the whole time, although kept a distance that would not interfere.

~~~~~

Within the chieftain's chamber, what started as a friendly conversation had now altered. Jane's father was held in his chair with a dagger to his throat, and an arm across his chest. It was Ragnar's arm that held from around the back of the chair while Rikard held the dagger.

Rikard stood back from his captive, sure that Ragnar had the old man well restrained and he stabbed an apple, picking it up on the blade. He sliced off a bite size portion and ate it quickly.

"It seems," Rikard began, cleaning the inside of his mouth with his tongue, "that my long lost nephew has been adopted into your clan. That son of his, so like that boy at that age."

"What of them?" the chieftain flared.

"Who said you should speak?" Rikard said, again bringing the point of the dagger against the neck of the leader of the Maclarens. 

"John may be a half breed, and Haldan another half of that, but they are my family. And I intend to see them returned to their rightful family. John wishes to know our ways, and he will. And as for that daughter of yours," stopping as a sick smile danced not only in his eyes but on his lips, "she'll get what's coming to her as well."

He sliced off more apple, and chewed it slowly as he walked toward the chamber door.

"You know what to do," he said to Ragnar, and he left.

~~~~~

Jane had returned to the chamber, and John stayed to the shadows to keep an eye on Haldan. Alone in the chamber, Jane was looking into the chest where the journal had been and saw her kilt and sword within. She picked up the weapon and tested the grip. It still felt good in her hand. She ran through a series of movements with her brother's next best weapon. It was perfectly balanced, and Jane felt a surge of power as she swished it faster and faster. 

Jane inhaled quick when she heard a wrapping on her door. She slid the blade beneath her bed and closed the chest to conceal her other secrets.

"Jane?" she heard her father's voice say.

Without hesitation, she ran to the door, so wanting to talk to him, to warm him before it was…too late. Jane's face sank. Her father was being shoved in the door by Ragnar, a dagger poised at kidney height. Jane could have easily escaped out the window, but that would sacrifice her father, and she was unwilling to do that. Ragnar licked his lips as he looked at her, and she knew what he had planned. Her whole body shuttered, and she almost lost her breakfast at the thought. She thought about Freya's shared thoughts about how inept he was and she got an instant knot in her stomach knowing that this was most likely not the first time he had done just this. 

~~~~~

A look passed between father and daughter. She knew he wanted her to run, save herself, but the look she returned showed someone determined to fight. It scared her father to see such a look in his daughter's eyes. Jane kept Ragnar in front of her at all times. She did not want him getting the upper hand that would have resulted if he had been able to grab her from behind. She watched as Ragnar lashed her father's arms around her caldron behind him. He was helpless, and he feared for his Jane beyond all measure. He was sure he was about to witness a vile desecration of his eldest, beloved Jane. 

Jane fought like a wildcat as Ragnar turned his attentions toward her. He was slowly backing her to the bed, and with his size, her strength would be not match for his brute force. She managed to evade him several times using her speed and agility, but the chamber was small, and Ragnar was able to catch the trailing end of Jane's skirt as she darted by him yet again. She was brought up short by his grip on the fabric, and he tossed her to the bed like a rag doll. Once he pinned her there with one arm, he finished tearing the skirt from her dress, exposing Jane's legs to mid thigh. 

Thinking she was immobile, Ragnar loosed his coverings. He meant to take her and he would take great pleasure in tearing her. 

"No," the chieftain yelled, getting Ragnar to turn and look. He smiled evilly, distracting him from Jane for just a moment.

~~~~~

Outside, John watched from a distance as the boys played in the yard. Some found him lingering close and asked him to again explain and show how to move without detection toward one's prey. He loved to do these things, for he was but a boy in his heart, and it gave him a chance to have a bit of the childhood he had never had. With his attention diverted, Rikard struck. John had just checked on Haldan, and thought it was safe. He also never believed that anyone would be fool-hearty enough to try something with so many around. He was wrong. The next time he looked up, Rikard was talking to Haldan. It turned quickly to Haldan being held, unsure what was happening.

"Haldan!" John yelled at the top of his voice.

The boy began to wriggle in his captor's arms, but that only made Rikard hold on tighter. John began the sprint to where they were, but was stopped several feet away when Rikard produced a small dagger and held it to the boy's throat in warning.

"That's close enough," John was told.

"Why?" was all John said, seething and animalistic.

"Because you belong with your family."

"This is my family."

"No, it's not. The Scots may have raised you, but you are Dane."

"No one raised me. Because of you, I was left to fend for my life, alone. All I had was what I knew before. You took the rest. The animals raised me. The land raised me. It is you who took my first family. It is you who killed my parents, took my life," John roared with anger and despair.

"You're wrong, John."

"No, I am not."

"You were just a boy. You would never understand."

"I know how I found their bodies. I know how I cried for them to wake up. You killed them."

"Your mother killed herself," Rikard calmly stated, catching John off guard. 

John would never believe that.

"You lie," he growled, taking a step closer only to be warned by the dagger at Haldan's neck.

~~~~~

While Ragnar was looking at Jane's father, she heard John's voice yell 'Haldan'. Her heart skipped, and her resolved hardened. She slid her knees to her chest and was able to flatten her feet against the rotund man's chest. She pushed with all her might, managing to send Ragnar off her. It was just enough for Jane to roll off the bed and grab the sword that she had placed below it for hiding.

Ragnar laughed at her. What would a chieftain's daughter know of the sword? It was laughable. She nimbly handled the fine weapon. She held him at bay as he played along with Jane as she fought the noble fight to keep her reputation. She backed her way to where her father was tied and cut lose one hand before the lummox again swiped at her, trying to take her sword. He was at a distinct disadvantage. He had disrobed to have his way with the woman, and as such, had a built in vulnerability. 

Jane saw her chance. She rolled by Ragnar and with a well placed sliced nearly castrated him. He became an enraged ox, all thought lost in pain, in revenge. Jane stood halfway between him and the window, and he charged. Jane stepped back several steps, and when his course was locked in, Jane dove aside. Without someone or thing to put all that energy into, Ragnar was unable to stop himself. The great chest caught him at the knees, and he toppled end over end out the window. When he landed, the force drove his body several feet into the ground - a full imprint of him.

Jane freed her father, and then stepped up into the window opening. Ragnar was dead. She searched farther out and saw John in a standoff with Rikard, who held her son. Her torn skirt was kilt length, and she still held the sword. Instinct took over. She raised the weapon high and yelled the fearsome yell of the red-haired warrior. All the young boys echoed the call, including Haldan. Soon there was a swirling mass of children running around the standoff. The movement and noise was all Haldan needed. He escaped and began milling with the others. Rikard grabbed at boy after boy, hoping to again hold someone, anyone, because he was sure John would fight for any child of the Maclarens, not just his own. All were able to avoid his grasp, and John now began to approach, growling. Jane climbed down the wall and was soon right there as well. 

Rikard knew John was unarmed, but he drew his sword. When he saw Jane coming with a sword, he thought she brought the weapon for her husband, but without a moment's hesitation, Jane started landing blows on his sword. These were not the feeble, glancing blows he expected from this wiry woman. She was out fencing him, and she was not even trying hard. With a spiraling motion, Jane sent Rikard's sword flying away, and she sent her own sword deep into the breast of this threat to her family. Rikard fell to the earth, blood gurgling out of his mouth as Jane had pierced his lung along with nicking his heart.

"You fight like a Viking," were his final words. His head rocked to one side, life now gone from his body.

Jane yelled her fearsome call again, and started to lunge at the body, wanting to take him apart, but John grabbed her arms, bringing her sword down, and he embraced her tightly. She let the weapon fall from her hand, and she began to sob. John turned her to face him. He felt the tears on his own cheeks too. They cried together. He could not really remember the last time he cried so, but he thought it might well have been the day he saw his murdered parents. It did not matter really. They stood in each other's embrace until the sky was again painted with all the colors nature could make. It had been hours, but they could not let go. 

They looked upon the body of Rikard one last time, and headed back to the castle. 

"I think you may have revealed your secret this day," John said to her.

"I care not. Let them do to me what they wish. All I care about is that my family, my clan, is safe from the likes of those two."

~~~~~

While they were out in the courtyard, Jane's father slowly, nearly in shock, walked to his chamber. He was pale, shaking. His wife came to his side, and supported him as they moved to the bed.

"What has happened?"

"Oh, Leslie, I have made a terrible mistake. Those Danes were not here out of kindness. They came to take John, and Haldan. If not for our Jane, they might well have succeeded."

"What? When did this come to light?"

"After you left for morning meal. They held me at knifepoint, and Ragnar…he meant to defile our Jane! He took me to her chamber, and tied me up to make me watch."

"Is Jane alright?"

Just as she posed this question, Lorna came in.

"What has happened to Jane?" she asked, worried for her sister.

"She is fine - she is amazing. I was helpless, and she saved not only her self, but I watched in amazement as she saved both Haldan and John. She is more remarkable than even I realized. I should have seen it, but now that I do, it changes everything."

"What do you mean, husband?"

"She is…"

"Well, spit it out!"

"Jane IS the red-haired fighter."

"What?" Both Lorna and Leslie said in disbelief.

"It is true. She handles the sword much like Angus did. They were always so close, and there is no mistaking what I now know to be true. Our daughter is a mighty warrior."

"What will you do?" Lorna asked.

"What I should have done as a good leader. Let all the women pick up the sword knowing how to use it."

~~~~~

It was dead silent in the great hall as John and Jane entered. They were side by side with their arms around each other as they walked. They both looked up to see the chieftain dressed in his finest robes, awaiting them. Haldan stood by his side. With glad eyes he welcomed them both. 

"If I thought I had seen courage before, I was mistaken. Jane, you had every opportunity to abandon me, to save yourself. I even wished you had done just that at the beginning. But you stayed, and you saved me as well as yourself, only to continue for your husband and son's safety. When I heard you raise your voice - it was only then I knew the truth."

All the assembled listened, wondering what it was that their leader had just learned.

"Friends, family, you all know my eldest, Jane, as noble woman, wife of John and mother of Haldan, but I have now realized, you also know another side of my beloved daughter. I watched the way she wielded the sword today and there was no doubt. When you look upon her, you look upon the red-haired fighter, Redding."

A murmur began in the hall. It could not be! A woman who could fight like that? What punishment would she face for doing such a thing? The chieftain held up his hand and waited as the noise ceased. 

"Listen, listen - I am glad she possesses these skills. I owe my life to that, and so do a good many of you - John included. From this day, all the children of this clan will be trained in the sword, boys and girls. We have all lost women to their lack of knowledge of the sword. Why should they not be able to protect themselves if we cannot be there for them? Jane proves my point. She could best a number of the men here, and you all know it! Jane, come up here."

Jane stepped up to where her father stood.

"No more must you hide behind the name of Redding when you fight. I present you here with a warrior's kilt, and sword."

He handed over a brand new kilt of Maclaren tartan. Jane bowed her head and turned to face the crowd. At first the place was quiet, but John stepped up beside her and kissed Jane upon the cheek, and smiled at them all, showing his pride. Some still did not believe it could be true. Others were bothered by knowing they fought side by side with a woman. From behind, they all heard Haldan start the fearsome call of the red-haired fighter. Jane and John turned to look on him. Jane raised her sword and added her voice to the call, and soon every warrior called back loud and proud. The whole hall reverberated. 

"Now we eat!" the chieftain yelled at a lull in the sound, only charging them all up again.

It was a grand feast. During those hours where John and Jane had stood in the field, the preparations had been made. Meats were roasted, the stores delved into. Delicacies were prepared. Nothing was overlooked, or too good for this night. 

~~~~

John and Jane sat with their son between them. He seemed unaffected by the day's events, but they wished to make sure. He had seen his mother kill a man, a man who had held him against his will while yelling at his father. A man who had made him feel uneasy from their first encounter, but now, as they sat and ate, Haldan was not thinking about that. He was flanked by his parents therefore all was right with his world, all the more so for having had a front row view of a skilled sword's person. It did not matter to him that it had been a woman, his own mother. He only saw a skill he wished he had.

Jane's sister took Haldan for the night. The first few steps into the chamber gave Jane a shiver thinking about what had happened this day, but John held her tight, and helped erase the demons. Soon they were upon the bed and their clothing had been put aside. John and Jane took full advantage of the time.

"Do you truly think we made a child the day we returned from Malcolm's wedding?" John asked in all earnestness.

"I will not know for sure for some weeks yet, but did you not feel difference? Only when Haldan was made did I feel such an overwhelming sense."

"Perhaps we should make sure, and keep trying again until it is so."

"I like the way you think," Jane answered, then engulfed his mouth with a passion filled kiss that jump-started a night of moans and groans.

~~~~~

The bodies of Ragnar and Rikard were dragged outside the castle walls and left for predators to tear apart. They did not deserve a dignified burial or ritual pyre. The sounds of the wild animals tearing them limb from limb could be heard in many of the outer wall chambers, but John and Jane heard none of it, nor did Haldan or Rowan as they did not sleep well, but made much noise.

~~~~~

Now calmly laying in each other's arms, John wondered about something.

"Does it bother you that your father told your secret?"

"I liked having something that was not known to the others. It was something we two alone shared for so long, and it is the thing that bonded us. I hope it will not make things awkward if I take to the battlefield again, but if it makes the clan stronger, because the women can defend themselves, it will make me proud."

"You really think other women will be as good with the sword as you?"

"Why not?"

"Women are not as strong-"

"Hold your tongue right there," Jane said pointing at John, poking him in the chest, "You think one must have great strength to wield a good weapon?" a hint of innuendo in her words.

"Swords are heavy - women don't lift great weights…" he trailed off as he watched one of Jane's eyebrows lift higher into her hairline.

"What?"

"John, do you not think carrying a child around requires strength? And the platters in the great hall? Have you ever lifted one of those the moment it comes from the kitchen? And the women who churn the butter, and tan the hides -you don't think they have the strength? That's it, I challenge you!"

Jane jumped out of bed and took her newly presented sword in hand. It was an odd sight since she was naked. John just looked at her.

"Come on," Jane challenged with a smile.

John slowly rolled to his feet, also naked, and tried to deflect her from this thought.

"Jane, I meant no sleight, come back to bed."

Jane flicked the hair on either side of his face with the tip of her sword. She then turned the sword about, twirling it through the air with fancy movements. John took his own sword in hand. They both smiled devilishly. Clang, clang, swoosh, slash, clang. They both stepped back, gauging the other. Jane tried the swirling move she had used to disarm Rikard, but John was not so easily defeated. Jane's sword was deflected, and caught Jane off balance. She stumbled into John, and he took her by the sword wrist, pulling her tight to his body and kissed her. He released her, and she pushed back, re-attaining her fighting stance.

"Nice try, but you know I will not be fooled by that move," John smirked.

There was a fire in both their eyes as the light from several candles danced as they made the wind swirl with their movements.

"I was merely making sure not to stab you," Jane confidently retorted.

This time John lunged, but Jane evaded as she turned quickly away. Again the swords clanged together, both holding fast, and standing strong. John started a series of quick moves that forced Jane back and back. With all agility, she leapt upon the bed, taking the high ground in their battle. Jane waited, breathing hard, wondering what John's next move would be. 

"You win," he said with a grin. He dropped his sword and flung his arms around her hips, taking her down to the bed, and sending her sword into the air. She watched over his shoulder as the sword started its way down and as if in slow motion Jane yelled, "No…John," as they hit the bed. She closed her eyes, and she heard the sword hit solidly. She was starting to cry when she opened her eyes, fearing what she would see. John looked her right in the face, no trace of pain in his eyes. Jane looked beyond, and John turned to look over his shoulder. The sword stood straight up in the bed in the open space where their legs vee-ed apart. It had missed a very important piece of anatomy by mere inches. John turned back and dropped his head on Jane's chest.

"That was close," they both uttered together, prompting a slight laugh from them. It could have been a disaster, but thankfully, it was something they could both laugh about. It was there lives in a nutshell. Always inches from disaster, but somehow avoiding it. John got up.

"Where are you going?" Jane asked.

John took the sword by the hilt and pulled it out of the bed. He carefully placed it on the floor, and returned to Jane.

"That would only have gotten in the way," John responded as he pressed himself against her.

"Oh, of course."

Jane pulled her leg up and fondled him with her toes. John quickly flipped to his back taking Jane atop him, landing astride. As her breasts dangled seductively above him, he licked and then sucked one then the other until Jane could take no more. She grabbed his face and kissed him hard. She trailed her hands down his chest as she moved down his body. She let his tip enter her, and then she pulled back up, teasing him. Each time he entered, she let him go a little deeper, but still drew back off him. His eyes were tightly closed, knowing she would take him where they needed to go. When she let him all the way in, she let her body slump for a moment, and she moaned. His hands instinctively clasped her hips, and she put her hands over his. He lifted her over and over, and then thrust himself up into her again. Jane was unexpectedly mute when John took her over the edge. Her mouth hung open, and he could hear the breath catching in her chest.

They lingered in each other's arms, touching, stroking, each reassuring the other that they had yet again turned back that which threatened them. 

"You are right," John whispered.

"About what?"

"About the women being trained with the sword. They must be able to defend themselves. If you had not known what you did, this night would not be happening. Your father could be dead, and you could be torn badly, never again to allow us these pleasures."

"Then it is my brother you owe. He taught me, perhaps more by example from watching him, but at times he would train using me as his partner. He made me the fighter I am. His death brought my warrior heart alive. I owe him everything - even you. If I had not been out on that field for you to learn my secret, we would not be here now either. I think he talks to the fates, for I can not think of how else I would be so lucky as to have you, and Haldan, and whoever may be in here." 

Jane took John's hand in her own and brushed his hand until it rested with her own upon her abdomen. John kissed Jane on the neck, and they snuggled down to get some sleep in what remained of the night.

~~~~~


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

In the next few weeks, Jane became sure that she was again with child. This she shared with John the moment she believed it was so. She wanted him to have the full experience this time, for it may well be the last time. With such a lengthy gap between children, and having started so late as well, Jane knew the odds of a child after this one were not good. That was the only thing Jane did not share with her mate. 

This time, the first three months were easier on Jane. She barely felt ill at all, and she was glowing. It was perhaps due to having her attention diverted. Jane was often called upon to show sword handling, and balance and movement to the young girls who now were permitted to learn these skills. Many of them were strong, and fast learners, soon graduating to actual swords. John was proud of Jane, but sometimes worried that she would overdo. He worried about this baby, but tried not to let on. 

One day he came upon the group she was training only to find Jane lying on the ground, breathing heavily. He knelt over her, fear all over him in wandering chills.

"Are you hurt?" 

Jane reached her hand up to him and smiled as she regained her breath.

"I'm fine."

"But your condition-"

Jane silenced him with a look. She did not wish to tell her charges that she was with child because she knew it would come soon enough that she would have to stop. While she could move, she would teach.

"I am fine, just winded."

She tensed her arm and John responded by helping her up, as was her wish. Once on her feet, Jane gave John a quick kiss, and they were surrounded by giggling. John was fantasy material for these young girls, and seeing him kissing his wife, who happened to be their teacher, brought about that reaction. Jane turned red and smiled broadly as she pulled her lips away from John's. He stroked one burning cheek and left Jane to her eager students.

~~~~~

That night, John awoke with a start. This time the dream had spilled into reality. It was something he had not been able to shake since the day Rikard was killed, but he did not wish to burden Jane with his troubling thoughts because he wanted to enjoy watching this child grow within her and see the un-muted joy. Jane was shocked out of her slumber when John jumped out of the bed. She was at his side quickly, stroking her arms over his shoulders as he shook.

"What has happened?"

John looked down, trying to avoid her eyes, hide his fears, but Jane knew him far too well now. He would not get away with putting her off, and saying it was nothing.

"John, I know when you are upset. In the last months, your sleep has not been peaceful, and now you awake in the middle of the night, your heart pounding from your chest. Do not dare to say it is nothing. Is it because of this child?" Jane asked, her hands upon herself. 

John clasped her hands and quickly stood.

"No, lord no. This is yet another amazing gift. I am in the clouds."

"Then what? I know I push myself more than you wish to see, but I am fine. If it is not this child that worries you, what wakes you so?"

"This dream comes back night after night. I need it to stop. It does not let me rest."

"Tell it to me - share the burden. That is why I am here."

"I am in the courtyard, yelling at Rikard. I am telling him how I knew he destroyed my life as I knew it, how I know he killed my parents. He said she killed her self. That my mother took her own life." John looked directly at Jane. "Please tell me that couldn't be true. Why would she take herself from my life?"

John was in tears, and Jane was beginning to cry as well. She had held back telling John what she had thought when Ragnar entered her chamber. She was sure Ragnar had forced himself on other women, and she feared Freya had been among them.

"John, there is one reason I could think…that would make her take such a step."

She had his undivided attention.

"That day, when they struck against us, as Ragnar entered this chamber, I saw a truth that shook me to my soul. I think he did to your mother what he intended to do to me. I think he made your father watch as he took Freya, and tore her."

"No, no," John whimpered, trying to stop her words from entering his ears.

"John, hear me out," she replied, taking his face in her hands.

He nodded slightly.

"John, I believe he hurt her beyond repair. If your father was already dead, her life as she knew it was over. She knew you were safe. I think she saved herself greater, lingering pain."

"No," John said and then sank his head to her breast.

Jane wrapped him in her arms, offering all the comfort she had.

"Shh, I know," she stroked his hair, "please, don't hold it against her. She made sure you were safe, and even if Rikard was right, and my thoughts were correct, she loved you no less."

John fought through Jane's sleep gown to hold her soft warm flesh to him. She let him touch as he wished. Eventually, they curled around each other, John with his hands held to Jane's lower abdomen. He wanted to forget all of it. His past became uglier the more he knew. He wanted just the future to matter now.

~~~~~

Jane gasped as she was awakened by movement from within. She grabbed John's hand and pressed it to her belly.

"John, can you feel that?" she said excitedly.

"I felt nothing."

"Perhaps the child is still too small for you to feel on the outside - I felt it move. Oh, there it is again."

The look of excitement and love in his mate's eyes warmed him. Even if he couldn't experience this feeling, he could see through her how much this meant. They had not been together the first time she would have felt such a thing, and she also hid the fact that she was with child well beyond this point the last time. He knew she was trying to make up for it this time by sharing every new thing. 

"It is OK," John soothingly mumbled as he nibbled her nape. 

"But, John, I want to share all of this with you. Every movement, every kick."

"Your smile shares each of these."

Jane started to cry, and John held her tight until it stopped. Her emotions were very close to the surface. John was glad he knew in advance this time. Before he had figured it out the first time, he just thought she was acting weird. He was glad he could be supportive this time.

"The harvest feast is in two days," Jane recalled.

"I know. I can think of no better place than the feast to celebrate the fertility of the land to tell them we are again having a babe."

"I just wished to be sure. I have seen too many not make it to this point. But you are right - it is time. Soon I will not be able to hide it, and if things go as they did last time, I'll be glad to not be teaching the girls, because I will want all the free time I can find."

Her sly smile said what her words did not - she would want him uncontrollably in the weeks and months to follow. It brought a smile to his lips as he remembered her appetite for him.

~~~~~

The day of the feast came, and before they went down for the meal, they sat Haldan down to tell him about the new baby.

"Haldan, we are having another child. You will have a brother or sister. We wanted you to know before we told the rest of the family," Jane said calmly.

"But I like being the only one. Rowan says he wishes he was an only like me."

"I know it will change things, but don't look at it as if something is being taken away from you. You will have someone to teach things to, someone who will love you as much as we do."

Haldan was still not happy. He pouted and looked very cross.

"Haldan, I will not take this reaction from you," John scolded. "This is good news."

"But I don't want a brother or sister," he almost cried.

John was getting angry, but Jane stopped him from saying anything more to the boy. She took him off to the corner of their chamber and calmed him.

"John," she whispered, "give him time to adjust. It will be a big change for him as well."

John nodded. He walked over to Haldan and lifted him up onto his shoulders and sat him there.

"It is time for the feast," was all John said before beginning the walk. John kept one hand on Haldan and held Jane's hand within the other as they made their way down to the great hall.

~~~~~

It was a joyous gathering. Much food and drink were consumed. John and Jane watched it all almost detached from the happenings. All they could think about was telling her parents about the new child to come. Their lingering peaceful feeling was interrupted by Haldan's acting out. He was running about, getting into everybody's path no matter what his parent's said. John's eyes narrowed as he spied the boy getting into the legs of one of the women carrying a heavy platter. John rushed across the room, and took the tray from the woman just as Haldan hit into her knees, knocking her off balance. With the weight lifted, she was able to right herself quickly, and she thanked John profusely. With a smile, he returned the tray to her, and took Haldan by the nape of the neck.

"What has gotten into you?" John insisted the boy tell him. He could not remember ever having such trouble from Haldan.

The boy just sulked.

"I asked you a question," John's voice boomed, silencing most of the hall.

"John," Jane said in as soothing voice, intervening.

"Haldan, why are you causing trouble?" Jane asked.

"I don't want to be a brother," the little voice yelled, carrying for all to hear.

Jane blushed knowing how loudly that had sounded.

Lorna was the first to come up to her.

"Are you?" she eagerly asked.

"Yes," she answered, placing her sister's hand where she had felt the movement earlier.

"You don't show yet."

"No, but soon."

"I'm so happy for you."

Her parents were now waiting for their turn to hug Jane. All this Haldan watched with anger. This was how it would be. They would pay all their attention to the new child. Haldan was pouting. He was so angry he could not watch this. He slipped from the hall unnoticed. 

~~~~~

With all that went on that night, between the congratulations for the upcoming child, and the celebration of a great harvest, and the food and drink, Haldan's departure was not noticed. John and Jane assumed he had joined Rowan for the night when he was not in the hall, nor were Lorna, her husband or her children. It brought no alarm.

In the morning, having enjoyed this night alone to its full extent, a content Jane sought out her sister to see if Haldan behaved over the night.

"He did not stay with us last night," Lorna told her.

Jane felt a knot in her stomach. She quickly found John and told him.

"Where would he go? Why would he do this?" Jane's emotions beginning to spill out.

"Stay calm. It is not good for the baby. I will find him."

John kissed Jane on the cheek, and headed out, sniffing. He could track anything; Haldan would not prove to be a challenge. His scent was part of John from that first day he was born. The trail led John into the courtyard. He spied a foot dangling from within an apple tree. The wide, dark-bottomed foot was a miniature replica of John's own feet. 

"May I come up?" John asked.

"Why? You have a new baby to love."

John easily pushed himself into the tree, hoping it could hold his adult weight. They just sat there, John more holding himself up than sitting, saying nothing. If Haldan swung his feet, John did, and Haldan would stop. John would stop, and Haldan would again swing. He was stubborn, but John was more so. 

"Your mother and I will never love you any less. She is worried that something happened to you. We told you first because we did not want you to hear it from another. We hoped you'd be happy for us. When we married, we feared we might not be able to have children. It took many moons for you to be created from our love, and it has taken many more moons than that for this new child. We have so much love between us, we wanted to share it with another child as well as you. You will always be our first child, the one who showed us the true extent of love."

Still owl-y as all outdoors, Haldan looked at John.

"Will the new baby have to listen to me? Do what I say?"

John held in a smirk. 

"For a long time all the baby will do is sleep, eat, and make messes - and cry about everything!" John told his son.

"Will you make me help?"

"You will not be forced to take care of the baby, but your mother or I may need you to help out from time to time. Your mom will need you to be a good boy. She will grow large with the child, and she will not be as able to pick your things off the floor, and even lifting you will become awkward for her in this state. And after the baby comes, it will demand attention, and time. We will not get much sleep until the baby can sleep through the night without needing food. Until your mom is back on her feet, she needs you to be patient. In those early days, the baby will get more attention than you, but it is nothing more than the attention we gave you when you first came to us."

"Oh."

"Do you feel better about this?" John asked, hoping for a yes.

"I guess so," Haldan said dropping his head, "did I really scare mommy?"

"When she went to her sister to see how you were over the night, and found you were not with Rowan for that time, she was in tears."

"I'm sorry," the boy whimpered, crawling to his father, attaching himself around the neck and chest of John. John pulled him tight with one arm, and slowly slipped to the ground. 

"Are you hungry?" John wondered aloud.

He felt a head nod against his chest.

Jane was seated on a bench in the great hall. Her sister was close at hand, trying to ease Jane's worries, and number of other concerned persons were asking after her needs. Her sad eyes would expel tears as she would shake her head 'no'. The only things she needed were her husband and son. Nothing else would soothe her. John walked through this crowd and placed the boy on his mother's lap. 

"Mommy," he said in a feeble voice.

"Oh, baby, you are safe."

She looked to him and then to John, a pained smile now present. They needed to get away from the swirling mass of people. John slid one arm under Jane's legs and lifted her and Haldan into his grasp. 

"Would someone prepare a tray for us and bring it to the room?" John asked politely. Lorna nodded.

He took them to the chamber and placed them both on the bed, and joined them, Haldan between them. Jane brushed Haldan's hair out of his face and traced the boy's cheek with her thumb. She could imagine that John must have looked much like this when was this age, and then she remembered with a spate of tears that this was all the time John had had with his parents. This was the age at which he lost everything.

"I'm sorry I made you cry mommy."

She just held him tight to her front, and just like the day he had arrived, he molded himself upon her, and John slipped one hand under Jane's shoulders and the other came to rest on Haldan's back. There they stayed for about 20 minutes until Lorna knocked, bringing their food. Jane got an idea - they had not picnicked in some time. She asked John to spread the large hide upon the floor. Together as a family they set the picnic. John helped Jane get to the floor, and soon joined her, and their son flopped himself down. He ate everything in sight. He had been cold last night in that tree and he had stomped out of the feast without so much as a morsel passing his lips, so he had heard his stomach complain all the night. He was glad to be full now.

While his parents basked in the glow of knowing Haldan was unharmed, and seemed to be over his tantrum, the boy leapt up. He began to pick up his things and put them away in the side-room which was his space. Jane could not believe what she was witnessing. She leaned into John and whispered, "What did you say to him?"

"I told him that he needed to be a good boy, and that you would not be able pick up his things from the floor as the child grew."

"I am just glad the anger is gone from his eyes," Jane said, and then stole a kiss from John. "We should clean this up," Jane said, beginning to get up.

"You stay, I'll pick this up."

"John, I am not to the point where I need to be babied."

"Perhaps not, but I like taking care of you like this."

~~~~~

In the space of ten days, Jane went from not showing at all to being obviously pregnant. Along with that change came Jane's untamed passions. The couple would allow Haldan to go down for morning meal ahead of them, and Jane would accost her husband with much desire. Jane's breasts were now round and firm, and all John could think about was sharing them with this new child to come. He smoothed his hands over Jane's body and tasted every inch of her. She reveled in every moment of it, wanting more each day. When they couldn't be in their chamber without Haldan, they would quietly engage each other, sometimes just pleasuring each other with their hands and feet. 

John loved again feeling a child move inside Jane. There was a lot of movement, too. Even Haldan asked if he could feel the baby in his mommy's tummy, and she was glad to place his hand to feel a strong kick. She didn't know what had changed, but Haldan was no longer angry about this child in the least. He had kept his toys and clothes carefully put away, and had been a very good boy. John and Jane beamed at each other as they watched their first born take such an interest in his unborn sibling. It was a change they gladly accepted and were not going to question. 

All was going smooth with their lives, but it was not so for all the clan. An illness was sweeping through the castle as the winter solstice approached. It was so bad that the solstice festival and feast were cancelled. Congregating in large groups was considered dangerous. Those who were not ill tried to stay that way even as they cared for loved ones who had succumbed. John pretty much sequestered Jane within their chamber - she could not afford to become seriously ill. The baby could be put at risk if she did get sick.

When Rowan became sick, Haldan was kept from him, and John kept their son away from Jane until it seemed he was not affected. Rowan was on the road to recovery in no time, but his older brother was not as lucky. He was very harshly affected, and was delirious with a high temperature. Lorna did all she could to ease his symptoms, staying by his side days on end.

The chieftain was also taken ill in the epidemic. He was bedridden for weeks, and had much time to think. His own mortality was drawn to his attention by this. He knew the time had come that he had to consider who would take his place as the leader of the Maclaren clan. Had Angus not been killed years ago, he would have been the choice. He was the only son to be born to Leslie by him. Could he consider his daughters? 

None could remember a winter so tough. There had been lean winters, but this year the food was plentiful. It was this illness that made it so tough. Those not taken ill were just as weakened by having to care for those who were ill. John had taken on much responsibility. He seemed to be immune to whatever was causing the sickness, and was enlisted to keep a hot fire going in the courtyard. It was used to cremate the bodies of those who did not survive. He hated this task, but knew it had to be done. They could not dig the freezing ground, and they could not allow the bodies to sit, spreading illness and disease as they slowly decayed. They had to be burned. 

John would scrub himself from top to bottom before joining his family each time. He did not wish to carry anything that could risk his family. John knew how lucky he had been so far. Each person who lost someone would have the same forlorn expression. It made John so sad, but it made coming back to Jane and Haldan bittersweet. He knew he would be inconsolable if he lost Jane or Haldan. He knew he might well lose his mind if he had to face a future without them. The only thing that blocked that out was sleeping with his arms around Jane, feeling the new life inside her, and feeling their son press up against his back because he had joined them, not wanting to be alone in his own bed.

~~~~~

All told, by the time the illness subsided, 17 had died. The last one John had to burn was the hardest - it was Lorna's first son. He watched his wife's sister crumple to the ground with grief, unable to bear seeing his body consumed in the flames. A wailing cry overtook her, and from her chamber, Jane could hear it. She knew her sister's cry, and she started to sob. Haldan crawled into Jane's embrace as close as he could get to the seven month pregnant woman. That was how John found them when he came back in. He fell into the bed behind them and snuggled up. 

Lorna could not bear to see Rowan and Haldan playing right now, so Rowan began spending more time with Haldan here in John and Jane's chamber. Jane sometimes listened to what they talked about. Rowan was sorry he had wished himself to be an only child, because now it was true. Jane wondered if her sister had talked to the boys about siblings, and if that was why Haldan had decided having a brother or sister was not so bad. If not for how badly Lorna was dealing with her loss, Jane would have asked. Lorna had taken to her bed after the pyre consumed her son. She barely ate, and slept long hours. Her eyes were always red and swollen. Jane wished to visit, but thought doing so pregnant in front of a woman who had just lost a child would be hurtful.

Several weeks passed, Jane now larger than she had been with Haldan, and there was yet a moon cycle to go before the babe was to come. She longed to comfort Lorna, but still thought it could hurt more than help. One day, within the great hall, Lorna's husband approached Jane and John.

"Jane, please come see Lorna. She wishes it."

"I wanted to, all this time, but I thought seeing me…like this…might hurt her."

"She knows all you've gone through. She could not be happier for you. Don't stay away."

"OK, would now be good?" Jane asked him.

"I am soon to take her a tray. I'm sure she would enjoy taking her meal with you."

~~~~~

When Lorna's husband returned to their chamber, Jane was right behind him. She saw Lorna curled on the bed, but she came to life upon seeing Jane.

"Come, sister, join me here. If anyone needs to be off her feet it is you."

Jane made her way to Lorna on the bed and almost rolled onto it, Lorna making space for her. 

"May I?" Lorna asked, hand now hovering over Jane's plump abdomen.

Jane nodded, and guided her sister's hand to the best place to feel the child kick. They both felt it, and Lorna let what was to be laugh, but sounded more of a whimper. Her broad smile looked out of place with the teary eyes, but Jane understood the conflict of emotions. She had been nothing if not a contradiction of emotions again during this pregnancy. While she had never lost a child, she still held the acute pain of losing their brother Angus, which she was never able to fully express. When they both began to cry together, Lorna's husband left the chamber.

"You have a strong one there," Lorna said lovingly. "I only hope I do too," she continued, pulling back from Jane.

Jane rolled over to look at the retreating Lorna.

"Is that why you have been staying closed away? Are you with child again?"

"Yes," Lorna painfully stated, "I hoped it would not be so, so close on the heels of…the loss. I have not told another soul. I am only sure in recent days. I am beside myself with grief, yet feel the stirrings of new life within me. What if I cannot give my heart to this one? What if the loss has taken all the trust I have? I was never scared to bring forth my boys, but I am lost."

"Do you remember when I helped you during Rowan's delivery?"

Lorna nodded.

"After seeing you go through the birth, I was sure I could never do it. I told no one that I was with child because I had convinced myself it could not be so, because I could never do what I had witnessed you doing. But John gave me the strength. He took my doubt. I know it is not the same, but I feared that I could not be a good mother after having been a warrior so long. What John could not convince me of, Haldan did himself. No one will ever replace him, but don't let the fear stop you from living and loving.

"Thank you," Lorna said with a slight smile.

"No, thank you."

"For what?"

"You talked to Haldan didn't you? You told him that being a sibling was a blessing, didn't you?"

Lorna nodded.

"I did not wish him to be so angry. My boys…" Lorna paused, realizing those were words she might never speak again, "Rowan always wished to be the only one. I wanted Haldan, and Rowan to know, to understand, what a blessing it was to be a brother, because I know how I wished to be closer to my sister."

Lorna began to cry again, and Jane struggled to her feet and embraced her, also succumbing to her tears. They rocked and swayed as they hugged. The baby kicked Jane hard, and Lorna felt it, prompting both to laugh through their tears. It was the closest these sisters had ever been. It was understanding borne of pain. 

~~~~~


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

It was the eve of the feast of St. Valentine, and the day before Haldan's sixth birthday. Lorna had taken Haldan for the evening, now knowing she had to keep living for herself, for her husband, for Rowan, and for the child she now carried. Jane could have her baby at any moment, so she knew how important this night alone with John could be. After a private sup in their chamber, John laid out a towel on the bed, and carefully, slowly, removed all the clothing from his wife. He lifted her into his arms and placed her on the towel. He seductively stripped in front of Jane, seeing her eyes devour him, and her breathing shift. John took the small kettle off the fire and poured some of the water into the wash-up bowl that already had cold water in it. He kept testing it until it was just right. John took a washing cloth, and once it was warm and wet, he put it on her chest. He gently circled the cloth, stroking each breast. With the next reheat of the cloth, he worked lower, over her abdomen.

She wanted him. The hunger in her eyes was stirring John and his body was out of his control. Jane pulled him into a kiss, but he pulled away.

"Not yet," he whispered. "I am going to turn you over," he warned.

Holding Jane with one arm, John positioned pillows to allow Jane to comfortably lay face down. He washed her back, warmed the back of her neck, massaging every nerve ending until Jane sighed contentedly. 

"Do you still want me?" John whispered in her ear.

"Always," she whispered back, lifting her bottom as she moved her knees underneath her. He came behind her, and slipped his hands under her stomach to support the great weight of the child within her. She felt him slide in, and her body instantly clenched around him. He moved slow and gentle, both moaning until she had to ask him to stop.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Lay on your back," Jane said with a smile.

He did as she asked and she crawled atop him to finish what had been started. Gravity was on Jane's side as she pushed herself down on him. His hands clamped on her thighs as he tried not to cry out. She saved him from whimpering by possessing his lips, covering her own cry. Knowing she was done, he carefully lifted her and placed her to his side. Jane rolled to her side and propped herself with pillows so she could be comfortable. She was still feeling waves of contraction, and chills were running through her because John was fondling her breasts, and smoothing down the length of her legs with a gentle touch. In no time they drifted to sleep.

Several hours later, Jane awoke. She was still feeling the muscle contractions, but they were now regular, and becoming painful. She released a small cry and moved her hand to her stomach. Her sound and movement woke John.

"Are you alright?"

"John, I think you should take me to the birthing room."

"It is time?"

"Yes, John, I think it is."

Jane tried to stand, but another contraction sent her to her knees. John was quickly by her side. He pulled the top blanket off the bed and wrapped it around Jane as he picked her up. He had found a nightshirt for himself, and they went to the birthing room. Two others were already in different points of labor, so Jane's arrival did not wake anyone. John placed Jane on the bed he was directed to so the midwives could check on her progress. That was when John noted they were both wet. Her water had broken while he carried her to the chamber. The midwife confirmed that, and said this child looked to be in a hurry, because Jane was nearly ready to deliver. John got a guilty look on his face. Jane just smiled at him and stroked his hand lovingly. 

When they were left alone for a moment, Jane whispered, "It's alright. I'd rather have it go faster than last time. And I enjoyed every minute."

No one tried to keep John from being here this time. He would not leave Jane's side. John took a dry blanket and whipped off the wet nightshirt. For a moment he was stark naked. The midwife gasped seeing John naked, most thought it was from shock, but there was definite awe in her face. She couldn't look away from his assets. He covered himself by wrapping and securing the blanket around his hips. He took another blanket and held Jane in the squat. She was moaning in discomfort, already feeling the need to push. After an hour, the midwife told Jane it was time to push for real. She took in a deep breath and strained. John was worried when all the pushing didn't move the baby along at all.

"Is something the matter?" he asked the midwife.

"The child is very large."

"Will she be able to birth it?"

"John, I am fine, and still strong. This babe is coming into the world," Jane assured him, and the midwife.

Jane pushed even harder with the next contraction. Luckily, Jane was more limber than some women, and John had loosened her up just hours earlier. Her crouch was low and wide, and John was strongly holding her. The head emerged.

"Good lass, that's it. Just a few more."

It was more than just a few more, but Jane was steadily pushing the child out. The shoulders were the toughest part, but Jane was a trooper. John again watched with awe as he saw the child leave her body. Jane nearly collapsed once the child was out, but John continued to hold her up until she was able to deliver the placenta as well. John looked to the midwife wanting to know if he had another son, or a daughter.

"A girl," she told him. "I have never seen a babe this big at birth unless I was in the stables. Your wife is lucky to have been able to bring her forth."

Two other attendants took over Jane's care as the freshly cleansed baby girl was placed in John's arms. The midwife had been right - she was a big baby. John thought she weighed near half a stone, and was amazed himself that she had come out of that little opening whose limits he tested regularly with his own girth. She squirmed in his arms; eyes remaining closed. He was taken by her completely when she reached out a pudgy hand and wrapped his pinky in a tight grasp. Jane had to get his attention before he brought the child over for her to see.

"John!" Jane almost laughed as it was the fourth time she had tried to rouse him. He smiled as he realized his oblivious state, and came to the side of Jane's bed to hand her the child.

"Oh, my," she exclaimed feeling the heft of the little girl, "She is big. John, look at her. Haldan was not this big until he was months old."

"I know," he said sitting by Jane's side.

The midwife approached them.

"I know you have been through this before, but I just wanted to remind you of a few things. You must abstain until after the bleeding has stopped, and Jane may need more time this time because there was some tearing. It will heal. Don't immerse yourself in a bath, but do keep yourself clean. Enjoy this child. She was in a hurry to come into this world, and I have no doubt it was because she has a purpose here of great importance."

It was just after the dawn. John and Jane's daughter had taken no more than six hours to make her entrance into the world. Again she fussed, but did not cry.

"Could she be hungry?" John asked.

Jane turned the babe to her breast and soon their girl was filling herself with Jane's milk, John fighting the urge to lick his lips and take the other teat himself. John quietly sighed, and stood from the bed to look upon the brightening sky he could see even through the heavy curtain that was sealing out the cold February air.

"This is a lucky day for the two of you," the midwife told him.

"How so?"

"Both your children born on the feast of Valentine, I would call that a skill."

John's face lit up even more. He had not thought about that. 

"Jane, do you realize, this is Haldan's birthday as well? We have brought two children into this world on the same day."

Jane just tiredly smiled.

"Will you be OK if I go tell Haldan he has a sister, and tell your parents they have another grandchild to love? I want everyone to know."

"I will be fine, but wait until they will be up. Lorna needs her sleep."

"I thought she had found a way to deal with the loss?"

"She has, but it is the addition for which she must rest up."

John simply looked at her, confused.

"John, she is having another child. While she is happy, she is still so sad. I want this to go well for her. Wait until they are all in the hall for first meal. Come lay by my side and get to know this beauty."

John did as asked. He marveled at the completely bald head because Haldan had had a great deal of hair at birth. For the first time, she opened her eyes for John to see golden pools that seemed to be lit from behind. Yellow eyes did run in the family, but usually only in flecks or sections. If this color held, she would be the first Maclaren in five generations to have fully golden eyes. John was sure she winked at him. 

When she finished drinking her fill, John took her and did the burping dance until she released her gas. Then she snuggled against her daddy's chest, and fell asleep, signaled by the smallest whistling snore. John came to the bed Jane was in, but did not relinquish his daughter. He carefully settled on the bed next to Jane, and she turned to her side so she could look on the girl.

"What do we name her?" Jane asked, having not thought for one moment about names yet again.

"I do not know."

"Would Skye fit her?"

"I like it - but she is more like sunrise or sunset with those eyes," John answered.

"Aurora? Aurora Skye?"

"Maybe," he looked down at her and smiled. "Are you Aurora Skye?" he asked the newborn babe.

She worked her mouth three times as if tasting the name from the air. Then her eyes opened as if she had been called awake by the name that was meant to be hers. 

"I think she likes it," Jane said, reaching to stroke her sweet face.

"Then Aurora Skye it is."

John held his pinky finger out for her to grasp, and she did. That girl already had him as wrapped around her finger as her hand was around his finger. 

~~~~~

Once it was a little later, and Aurora needed to have milk yet again, John decided it was the time to tell the family about the new addition. He also decided to get some food for himself, Jane, and all the attendants who had helped them again bring a perfect little person into the world without incident. Jane looked nowhere near as exhausted as she had been with Haldan, but this child had taken a fraction of the time he had in making his appearance. Her face was bright and cheery, and he touched a gentle kiss on her forehead before he was off. He was about to head straight for the great hall when he remembered he wore nothing but a blanket. He decided to take the time to get fresh clothes.

John's smile lit his way. His content joy spoke before he could open his mouth.

"Boy or girl?" Lorna asked, being the first he encountered.

"A girl," he answered, his face beaming.

Haldan saw his daddy and ran up to him as John crouched to receive his hug.

"You have a sister," the strawberry blond was informed.

The six year old's face sank slightly.

"But we did not forget today is your birthday. It just seems your sister already wants to follow in your footsteps. Your mom will be off her feet for several days. But she made sure we had your gift ready. Go on up to the chamber. It is waiting for you."

The boy sped off. John was glad Jane had thought of setting Haldan's gift on his bed before they had begun the night's activities. John was too concentrated on making the night a memorable one for Jane. Haldan walked into the chamber and went to his bed. His eyes shone as they went wide. Slowly, he extended his hand toward the grip of the sword that was on the bed. It was shiny, and seemed perfectly suited to his hand. He heard his father step up behind him, and he turned.

"That belonged to your mother's brother, Angus. He was felled in battle, and your mother took his second sword and fought with all her heart for many years without another soul knowing. She did not lose anything while wielding that sword, but she gained one important thing."

"What is that?"

"She gained my heart. When we first met, she threatened to stab me with this point, but shortly there after, I knew she was the woman I would spend my life with. That is a special sword. Your mom wanted you to have it, and so do I. Take care of that weapon, and it will take care of you."

"I will," Haldan said with a nod. "When do I get to see mommy and my sister?"

"I hope she will be able to come to our chamber by tomorrow. I think we are on our own tonight."

"Then may I stay with Rowan tonight?"

"If Lorna can stand you for another night," John teased his rambunctious son. "For now, leave the sword here. I have not eaten since the sup last night, nor has your mother. I must fetch her meal so she can regain her strength. Come, we will ask Lorna if she will look after you tonight."

The two went back to the great hall. Lorna was glad to have Haldan for another night, knowing in seven months time she would be asking the same of John and Jane. John ate with Haldan, and was able to tell Jane's parents about the new addition. He then gathered a tray of Jane's favorite foods, and enough for all the women who had aided them, and headed back to see his girls.

John was surprised to find Jane on her feet, walking the baby around the chamber.

"Should you be up?" he asked, placing the tray of food on a side table.

"I'm fine. She needed to be burped, and frankly, I was sick of the bed already."

John came behind them and put his arms around Jane's waist, looking over her shoulder at his daughter. 

"She's as beautiful as her mother," John whispered in her ear, and then kissed just in front of it.

"Well, it's only fair, since our son is as handsome as his father. How did he like his gift?"

"I think you've made his year. Thank-you for thinking of it. I told him what you said for me to. He is proud to have that sword."

"Good."

"If you are up, are you ready to come home tonight? Haldan will be staying with Rowan tonight."

"I'm not sure, John. I think I should stay here. It's just a feeling I have. I'm sure they will let you stay with me."

"Good," he answered.

"Do you want to hold her?" Jane asked.

"I thought you'd never ask."

John took her, supporting her head as he drew her body to his chest. Jane's arms hung at her sides as she tried to shake them out. 

"I thought women were strong because of having to carry their newborns, yet your arms are already worn from the weigh of our Aurora," John teased.

"It has just been some time since I held such a tight bundle. Haldan is more spread out, but this is all concentrated in one place. I can't believe how big she is. I think we best not have another, or they may have to cut it out of me, because at this rate, the next one will be as big as a calf."

"I, too, am amazed to see such a child come forth from you," John now leaned in and whispered, "It seems so little time since you could barely take my size."

Jane blushed, and eyed her husband, a smile of knowing on her lips. She tried to hold that look, but her face was contorted by a yawn.

"You need to eat, and then sleep. Make yourself comfortable, I will take care of it all."

Jane arranged herself on the bed, and John handed Aurora down to her waiting arms. He then turned to the tray of foods and chose a small bowl of mutton stew, knowing it had been her first food after Haldan had been born as well. He balanced along the edge of her bed, and fed her. She tried to protest, but John would not hear of it. He made sure she ate all the stew, and when she was done, John licked her face clean, and kissed his beloved repeatedly. Once she was full, she shimmied her way down in the bed and placed Aurora on her chest so they both could sleep. John lay by her side, watching the pair of chests rise and fall. 

When Jane and Aurora were both sleeping calmly, John stealthily got up and left them. He went to their chamber. John found the small bed that he had built for Haldan, and set it up next to their bed. He took the hide to line it, and then the blanket Lorna had embroidered for their new child. He made sure the curtain to seal out the cold was secure, and then he set up the wood for the fire to warm their chamber to what the baby would need. He cleaned himself up, changed his clothes, and surveyed what he had done. All was ready for Jane's return, and Aurora's first trip home.

~~~~~

John returned to see Jane and Aurora just before bed time. Jane looked content as their sizable baby slept peacefully on top of Jane. Her broad face was turned to the left as it rested between Jane's breasts. Jane's arms held her carefully, stroking her bottom and thighs. John noted the small towel placed between Aurora's lower body and Jane's stomach. This time she would be smart enough not to get covered in a mess, but it still allowed the baby to make a strong connection with Jane by being skin to skin. 

John slid onto the bed Jane was in, but he did not slip beneath the covers with her. He took a spare blanket, and wrapped himself within it, settling in next to Jane.

"Hi," Jane toned warmly.

"Our chamber is ready for the two of you. I made sure. As soon as you feel the time is right, I will take my best girls home."

"Thank-you, John. I know there is no reason we should not go tonight, but a voice deep within me says I must be here tonight. I cannot explain."

"I trust your instinct. Jane, it matters not where we sleep, just that I can protect you, and feel the warmth of your skin. Haldan is in Lorna's care, and you are in mine."

He kissed her cheek and her neck and watched the blush creep up Jane's face. John put his head down to Jane's shoulder, and looked at his daughter. Jane pulled her cover up to shield Aurora and her own breasts from the air. John carefully moved his left arm across the whole of them. Aurora's feet rubbed his arm when she fussed, and his hand felt the curve of Jane's still plump abdomen. He sighed, and let sleep take him. Jane stayed awake a few minutes longer, but John was breathing the steady pace of sleep, and Jane could feel Aurora's rise and fall as she slept as well. Jane let the peace and warmth she felt take her into sleep.

All was fine until they were all awakened by another mother-to-be, wailing as she tried to get the child in her out. She had been there since before Jane had come, and still her labor continued. John and Jane were shocked from their sleep by her new, loud outburst borne of frustration as much as pain. Aurora wailed in response to being awakened in such a manner. She had wet the towel on Jane, and she wished to be refilled. 

"John? Can you get me a fresh towel?"

John obliged, and Jane half sat to help Aurora get a good angle on the nipple. She was quiet again as the milk was sucked from her mom. John's face grew concerned as he watched the woman in the corner. 

"Do you know her?" John asked his drowsy wife.

"No, not well. She married into the clan just months ago, and her husband was among those to be taken ill, and die. I can't imagine going through all this alone. If I didn't have you, I would not have survived either birth."

"Would you mind if I helped her? All the attendants look tired, and she looks quite scared."

Jane nodded as her eyes teared up. Her husband had a heart so big he could not help thinking of others. He felt a kinship to the unborn child. It would have just its mother, and John understood what it was to be without. 

"May I help?" John said as he approached the corner. 

The midwives were glad to be spelled, but they asked the woman first.

"Chandra, will you let him help?" one of the midwives inquired.

She nodded just once. She was exhausted. Chandra was not from any place local. She had arrived in Scotland as a slave aboard a ship, and her life had not been easy. She was but a girl when she was grabbed, and had not been treated well since. She was still young. Her husband had actually purchased her. He had not meant for her to become anything more. He simply thought to save her from the overbearing bastard who was barking orders at her, and smacking her at any opportunity. 

Chandra was a dark beauty. Her long, black hair was pasted down her body with sweat, and her eyes seemed to fill her entire face. She spoke little of the tongue, and that made it all the worse when she lost the man she had grown to love. They had found ways to communicate that did not require words. She now found herself alone, pregnant, and scared.

When she turned to nod to accept John's assistance, Jane saw that fear. It struck her. This woman was just like Jane had been at the time of her first wedding. That level of fear was no place to be when bringing a new life into the world. Jane began to fear for her, and the child she was struggling so hard to bring into this world.

Chandra gritted her teeth as she pushed harder and harder, just wanting this to be over. The language barrier had now become a matter of life and death.

"Stop pushing, you must or the child is lost," one midwife told the young girl.

She did not understand. John got her attention, and began to breathe through his teeth, hoping she would copy what he was doing. "Shee…shee…shee." Chandra followed his pattern of breaths.

Once she was doing that without thinking, John asked what was the matter.

"The child is breech - feet first. That is why it cannot pass easily. Were she a bigger woman, one of us would turn the child inside her, but as you see, our hands and arms are much too big for this small, first time mother to bear."

"Could I help?" Jane asked from across the room. "My arms are thin. You could talk me through what needs to be done, if Chandra will let me try."

"But you just had a babe, Jane, you should not strain yourself," John worried.

"John, she is in such pain, and a life is at stake. I am fine. But if I do nothing, I will not stay fine. This is why I felt I had to stay. We are to help her."

Aurora was now done with her meal, and Jane was up and walked around with the child until she was able to burp. Jane nestled the baby into the warm spot Jane had left in the bed, and she came and squatted down in front of Chandra. She made eye contact and tried to make the girl understand.

"Your baby," Jane pointed to Chandra's abdomen, "is upside-down," Jane pantomimed, rolling one hand over the other. "I," Jane said pointing to herself, "need to turn the baby, so it can come out of you," Jane pushed her hands down her sides, hoping to indicate the baby coming forth.

"Yes," Chandra said, nodding. "Please help."

She was willing to do anything right now. Chandra had watched John and Jane as they welcomed Aurora earlier, and she saw how they were with each other. They were good people. 

The midwives directed Jane. She contemplated which hand to use. She decided to use her right hand. Jane carefully pushed her hand into Chandra. In short order, Jane could feel a pair of feet. Jane was able to use her hand on the outside along with her hand on the inside to help guide the unborn baby. Slowly, she was able to work the small body around until the head was pointed down. Jane withdrew her arm, and hoped she had done more good than harm. John still held Chandra as the baby within her entered the birth canal. With a cry of pain, she pushed again. Jane backed away as the head came out. A midwife took Jane's place, and was there to catch the baby as Chandra finally pushed him into the world.

Jane placed her hand on Chandra's shoulder, and felt the new mother put one of her own hands over Jane's. That hand and whole arm of Jane's was coated in blood, but it made no difference. They were bonded in friendship now. Jane had made it come to an end. The midwife offered Jane a wet cleaning towel for her arm when they cleaned Chandra after the birth.

Chandra's child was very small, but he cried strongly after his airway was cleared. He was dark like his mother. Jane showed her how to make the baby latch to her so she could nurse the baby after John got her to a bed. She could barely stay awake after the ordeal, but Chandra watched as John got his wife back to their bed, and they cradled Aurora. Jane heard a small voice say, "Thank-you, Jane…John." They smiled at Chandra. She looked weak, but she smiled at them, and then let her head rest against the pillows.

~~~~~


End file.
